Booming Banter

Did you know that yesterday was International Bacon Day but alas not a single rasher crossed my lips.

Do you not think I am poorly treated.

It’s gluten free too so there is no excuse at all for my Mother’s negligence.

She’s not a true Irish at all.

Mixed blood there, too much of the mean Scottish side showing up.

Wondered what a hickory smoked Pitty might taste like?

Maybe I’ll roast her on a spit.

Blessing#1818-Sizzling

One of the highlights of my Mother’s week is getting the trash out on time.

When there is a holiday it gets her all flustered because things are not happening as they should.

The trash people get the holiday off to so they come one day late. How deeply inconsiderate.

She has to remember not to wake up fifteen minutes earlier which is a recipe for disaster.

It keeps her shuffling around all night worrying that maybe they won’t come a day late and that she’ll miss them and all the stinky stuff will not be taken and it will accumulate in our garage and it will bring flies and that they will get into the house and land on our food and make us sick and and and and it’s just too much.

So when she has panicked enough she eventually passes out and that’s when I swing into action.

Blessing#1817-White Nights

Precious Peeps it is sweltering!!! Hasn’t been hotter this entire year.

It saps the energy.

I feel like jumping in a pool. Pity your poor Pitty as we don’t have one.

Maybe I’ll take a cold bath or cling to the freezer!

All I want to do is eat and drink and sleep.

I know the time is not far off when I’d kill for some warmth in the air but right now I can’t even be bothered troubling the Gizz.

All I want is Dad.

Blessing#1816-Cold Fronts

For Ma , Labor Day is like the day after Christmas. She feels very blue because summer is officially over for another year.

Quickly I try to divert her attention to food.

Think dear one I say with enthusiasm that the season of mists and mellow fruitfulness is upon us.

Think about eating all those tomatoes furnished in huge volumes by our dear pals Doug and Paul straight from their garden.

Think of Thanksgiving and all the pies and pick up some recipes to test and try as we go.

Think that The Great British Baking Show must soon return! If not it’s on Netflix now.

As always I did a pretty good job. She’s doing OK and has survived the night!

Blessing#1815-Thinking Positive

Precious Peeps I wish you all the very best for Labor Day. I hope you do not overdo things like I did as I was excessively sick.

I chewed down on the equivalent of a bale of fresh grass yesterday morning. It tasted so sweet and refreshing but it didn’t stay down long.

Usually I tolerate it like the GOAT that I am but this was that one straw too many it came back up the way it went down.

Fortunately the Grands had left for Church so Dad was responsible for the clean up.

He gave me the evil eye.

It didn’t put him off his brunch of pizza, grilled cheese toasty and pasta though. You see from whence my epicurean habits have been derived.

Leaves you a tad hungry though when your brekkie bits the dust. Just have to pray for those “crumbs under the table”

Blessing#1814-Fall Out

It’s Labor Day weekend and many people are hitting the roads for the final trip to the beach or the lakes.

We have to stay home because the Shredder cannot be trusted in a hotel room.

I think we need to get an RV.

They come in all shapes and size.

There are giant ones the size of your average British house. They cost as much too!!

There are mid size ones we often see around here heading up Route 23 to the lakes.

I could loose JAWS in one of those and not be bothered by her. Lock her in the “restroom”

Ma loves the old VWs that are still on the road today. Says they remind her of my namesake Scooby Dooby DOO!!!

Since she’s so stingy it would probably be the best option.

We could even park it in our garage and stick flowers and teapots on it!!

It could be my place to escape when tortured by Trouble! Great for my campaign too to underline my environmental consciousness and my fun furry features!!!!

Blessing#1813-Mobile Homes

Yesterday we both got into big trouble on the way home from the park. We were nearing Auntie Denise’s house when this giant bird took to flight.

Jaws decided she’d chase it and to be honest so did I. So we both took off and ran at full speed through several neighbors yards. Ma had to stop the traffic in case we got killed.

When we eventually came back and Denise and Ma got hold of us they were too flustered to scold us.

It was the fastest run I’ve ever had in my entire life. So exhilarating sure got the heart racing.

Maybe I won’t kill Jaws this weekend after all. She can be fun to fool around with at times!

Blessing#1812-Sprinters

Precious Peeps it’s Pits Perfect and I’m all set for a LONG and very DELICIOUS a weekend.

Granny was thinking about taking all of us away for a few days to a resort in West Virginia but then I shredded another pillow and she changed her mind. Said I couldn’t be trusted and that we’d stay home and have monster steaks instead.

Sounded like a fair deal to me and Dad.

The old stinker huffed. Said I spoiled his vacation opportunities and possibilities to roam in glades and forests.

Little does he know what Dad and I have planned for our midnight feasts.

Blessing#1811-Holiday Hopes

The big moon crept around the side of our house at 5:00 this morning and lit us up.

I decided that, even though it’s trash day and we have to get busy when we get up that it was too early to rise.

So the surest way to get Ma back to the land of nod is to give her a snuggle.

It was conveniently cold so I enjoyed having a hug.

In this world a doze is one of those timeless delights that I’m confident exists over the rainbow. Clean sets you up for the day!

Blessing#1810- Heavenly Happenings

Ma an me always have some me time on Monday and Tuesday afternoon.

We usually don’t close the blinds but since the painter was busy outside we didn’t want him to see us snoozing. He might think we are lazy.

Usually Ma tells me her little troubles and I listen until they become so boring I nod off.

Yesterday I enjoyed my sleep so much as it was dark like night.

It’s such a treat and beats guard duty with Dad especially if he bans barking!

I’m a one woman dog.

I’m so glad the THING is naughty as I’ve got no competition. No chance of Ma defecting!

Blessing#1809-Singularity.