Booming Banter

I’m speaking to Ma again because she took us trotting yesterday. Also, being canine I find it excessively difficult to be grumpy for long.

I know the niece calls me the GRUMPY GIZZARD but that’s because I’m more refined than she is. I’m not your bouncing of the wall kind of guy but I’m pretty loving when it comes to my peeps.

You know the way humans have Type A and Type B personalities well my theory is the same is true for dogs. There is the crazy in your face types like Nala who bound into a room and almost take you out with their tail and then there is the slow approach sniff you out sorts like me.

There very definitely must be a reason why we are not all the same. It must benefit the universe equilibrium or stabilize the stars.

Anyway it gives us added purpose on a Monday so rejoice in being you whether you’re a neutron or a proton!

Blessing#2761-Balanced Beings

I am excessively annoyed with everything right now. I might just snarl if you aren’t careful!

Ma went to prison work all day yesterday. She just threw me and Jaws out in the yard for our jobs before she left at 8:00. No trots at all.

When she came home at 4:00 she said she was freezing and wasn’t going out again so back to the yard we went.

She then proceeded to watch a stupid docuseries in its entirety without so much as an ear scratch.

When the Bro came home, ate his dinner and retired to his chambers with Jaws to watch sport I went with him.

Early this morning Jaws tried to usurp my place in the Bros bed so I got a little antsy and this woke Ma up and she came and forced me into her chamber.

So now I’m not speaking to anyone.

Blessing#2760-Huffing

You know the way some people like to go on dates well Ma’s idea of a date is a simple dinner and a movie. Oh and fizz but that she’d have any night!!

Take yesterday. The Bro was out at THE AVIATORS football game in Columbus so Ma made herself and Dad egg and onion sandwiches with leftover egg salad from the tearoom. Took five minutes max.

She had a hankering for something Indian on screen. I feared the worst that we’d be subjected to Gandhi again but hoorah instead we had the David Lean version of EM Foster’s classic “A PASSAGE TO INDIA”

Dad loves it because he gets a glimpse of his hometown Bombay and the Gateway at the start.

It’s such a great story and everyone can make up their own explanation for why Miss Quested claimed she was attacked my Dr Aziz when she eventually confessed she wasn’t. Ma puts it down to heat stroke.

Anyway it leaves you feeling that you’ve been half way round the world when you only left your sofa for a pee.

I enjoyed it. So much more interesting than Forensic Files.

Blessing#2759-Home Cinema

Precious Peeps it’s Pits here I’m PERFECT as always and ready to whistle you into a wonderful weekend.

We have returned to winter and have had to turn the heat on in the kennel. Nonetheless Consuelo is still cleaning the pool so that just as soon as we possibly can we’re ready to take the plunge.

I like watching her work and walk along the side of the water sniffing as I go.

It is good for my balance and feels like I am walking on a cat walk.

That could be my next venture sexy swimwear.

Skin tight black like the costume I’m wearing is always so slimming.

Kong says he will be my manager as his familiarity with water will get me extra endorsements.

Hope where you are it’s sunnier and warmer than here but fear not I’m planning to still have fun.

Love you all almost as much as myself.

Blessing#2758-Top Models

Have you been following the visit of the King and Queen to the USA?

They are certainly packing a lot into their trip.

I’ve had to listen to all the speeches as Ma is keen to get every nuance. It was a great surprise that Rory got a shout out from President Trump. We think that’s a BIG hint to the King that a certain person deserves a knighthood.

All in all the speeches have been entertaining as well as highly diplomatic.

You have to ask yourself where these people in their late seventies get their energy from.

Maybe if we had cooks and dressers and cleaners and drivers and such we’d have their stamina too but you have to give it to them they are all working hard.

I know this evening we’ll have more to listen to but I’m resigned to it for now.

Blessing#2757-Between the Lines

Precious Peeps it’s PITS here to heave you over the humpty.

Today I have a piece of Pitty philosophy for you.

Sometimes you’ve got to wait.

Take me. When Daddy goes to work I sit at the door for a while just in case he’s made a mistake and it’s his day off and he comes back.

Usually I sit there for about ten minutes before KONG calls and I go chat with him.

Life then usually swings into action. Granny takes the Gizz and me trotting, I have a long siesta when she goes to work and then before you know it Granny’s home and it’s dinner time for me.

When Granny starts cooking I know it won’t be long till Dad is back so I take my place again behind the door and eventually he arrives.

Now here’s the thing I could have sat there all day just waiting and doing nothing but instead I packed in quite a bit. So if your waiting for something special be like me and get yourself some fun distraction like a good walk or a good sleep or a good meal and the time will fly by.

Speaking of meals I hear the kibble hitting the bowl.

I’ll be back Friday with more wisdom for the weekend

Blessing#2756-Purposeful Patience

Precious Peeps it’s PITS here to heave you over the humpty.

Today I have a piece of Pitty philosophy for you.

Sometimes you’ve got to wait.

Take me. When Daddy goes to work I sit at the door for a while just in case he’s made a mistake and it’s his day off and he comes back.

Usually I sit there for about ten minutes before KONG calls and I go chat with him.

Life then usually swings into action. Granny takes the Gizz and me trotting, I have a long siesta when she goes to work and then before you know it Granny’s home and it’s dinner time for me.

When Granny starts cooking I know it won’t be long till Dad is back so I take my place again behind the door and eventually he arrives.

Now here’s the thing I could have sat there all day just waiting and doing nothing but instead I packed in quite a bit. So if your waiting for something special be like me and get yourself some fun distraction like a good walk or a good sleep or a good meal and the time will fly by.

Speaking of meals I hear the kibble hitting the bowl.

I’ll be back Friday with more wisdom for the weekend

Blessing#2756-Purposeful Patience

It’s great having friends like Auntie Marsha and Uncle Jim who have a farm because they bring you all sorts of goodies.

On Sunday they swung past our house with a haul of asparagus for us.

Ma cooked it up yesterday with some new potatoes and salmon. It smelled so good.

I’m generally not a greens sort of guy but those little spears are tasty.

They have a very distinctive smell and here’s the best bit I noticed it’s a smell that keeps on giving long after the dinners done.

It’s like a whole lesson on amino acid and protein metabolism in real time.

I’ll spare you the details but you’ll know it involves the kidney too.

Blessing#2755-Asparagine

Do you ever have a dream where you dream your having a dream and in that dream you wake up and then go back to sleep and have the dream again?

I don’t but Ma says that it’s a very strange feeling because when you eventually do wake up you wonder are you still dreaming.

This leads me to the conclusion that humans need to concentrate on being alive and alert.

Take my adventure of yesterday.

As we were trotting along a truck drove past with the window down and a great golden retriever hanging out of it. Her locks were like Rapunzel!

I yanked my leash from Ma’s paw and took off after the truck. Believe it or not I caught up with it after about two hundred yards.

The driver saw me eventually and stopped but by then I had the itch to keep running so I did.

Ma was hurtling after me with Jaws in tow.

After a further two hundred yards or so I decided I’d had enough and let her catch me.

She was raging, I was exhausted, Jaws was jealous and we trotted home together.

Ma said that I could have been killed and it was a nightmare to watch. I said enough of talking about dreams for one day but if I see that gorgeous retriever I’m definitely chasing her truck again.

Blessing#2754-Repetition

Ma is counting down the days until a new epic is released on Brit Box.

It’s the story of Mary Bennett one of the five Bennett sisters.

We all know that in Pride and Prejudice she comes across as something of a nerd and her musical performances were dubious at best.

This will be a new twist on the book worm. She’s not what we all think.

Ma often thought that Mary should have married Rev Mr Collins. That would have been a triumph for her. The first sister married, a home of her own, mixing with Lady Catherine and of course inheriting her father’s home in due course.

It wasn’t to be though Jane Austen had other ideas.

Would you read a book called Mrs Mary Collins if I happened to put pen to paper?

Blessing#2753-Plots Thicken