We all have little gifts. Mine is being sensitive to situations. I can feel the mood.
Ma has explained to me many times that she has a color chart in her head and can match things in different places. So if she sees a pair of trousers in one place she can match it with a shirt in another.
You can take this to extremes though.
She can even match handbags with ice buckets.
Why you may ask, as I did, would you do this?
The answer from my Ma.
Why not? She thinks there is reason for this out there somewhere in the universe
I’m not in the habit of using words that you’d need a dictionary by your side to understand but that posh Princess is a different case.
PERFUNCTORY indeed. What the heck.
Well Ma told me how the use of that word in yesterday’s epistle was down to Ma herself not the PIT.
See Ma wakes up in the middle of the night and sometimes a word hits her like a bolt from the blue. She thinks she knows its meaning but is not absolutely certain so in order to make sure she never doubts what it means again she has to use it in context.
So that’s why that word was included.
Why it had to relate it to me is sad though the PIT could have used it in some other context.
Do you like people who use such words. I’m not sure about them. I understand why Ma had to get it out of her system but it s not my thing!
Precious Perps it’s PITS here today as the PERFECT daughter to wish my wonderful Daddy a happy Father’s Day.
I took the reins from the Grey Gizzard this morning as I knew he would only give a perfunctory tribute to Grandpa.
He is not capable of profuse pampering such as I can give.
My Daddy is outstanding; so generous with snacks, so snuggly, so sweet and super strong too.
He is like me a beautiful and gifted individual possessed of diverse talents from cooking to acting.
Here is is just yesterday in his role as Al Capone.
Doesn’t he look the part.
I am so lucky to have him but then so too is he lucky to have me since as you all know I am quite perfect in every regard.
I must be off now time for my secretary to make coffee and for us all to eat cinnamon rolls for brekkie except of course poor Kong but he’ll get a kiss instead.
Precious Peeps it’s Pits here to heave you over the humpty.
Does your Granny sometimes get grumpy? Mine does!
This morning she was telling me she has had it with spam. She had no less than 95 messages in her junk folder in less than 24 hours. We know because when you move them to trash it say “delete 95 message” when you go to get rid of them.
Granny told me that when she was young spam was a type if luncheon meat she often had in the sandwiches she took to school.
We got to thinking of all the spam makers out there in cyberspace. Not the honest ones who make the ham in the can. Who pays them? Do they just decide to set up to annoy people or worse steal from them?
I suggested to Granny that I could create a firewall for her. Every time a spam hits us I could reply with a message saying “beware hungry ham eating Pitty in place”
Granny said it was kind of me to try to help but it wouldn’t be good for my reputation as a Perfect Princess.
This got me thinking. Do the Royals get spam too? They probably have staff paid to sit and delete it. Wouldn’t it be something if they politely replied “HRH is thankful for your request to open an overseas bank account to settle her debts and is happily insured for such matters yours truly the crown prosecutors”
Now we have had some jolly out of this we feel better and hope you will too when you’re deleting your junk today.
Off now to kiss Kong. Love y’all almost as much as him but not nearly as much as me.
They were having a corn hole tournament at church yesterday so Ma signed the Bro and her up as a team.
She’d never played it before so it was a tad embarrassing for the Bro. For those of you who don’t know the first team to score 21 wins. You get one point if your bag lands on the board and three if it goes in the hole. If you go above 21 by getting a three pointer when you have already 19 points or more you go back to 11.
In the time they played which must have been a good half hour Ma hit the board only once. She hit the trees at least ten times. The Bro was mortified.
Worse still when they and their opponents were both at 20 points what did Ma do but get a shot in the hole.
It was unbelievable. It was like missing a penalty in the World Cup final shoot offs.
On the way home though having scoffed a hotdog the Bro did concede she’d improved over the course of the competition and that they just might need to get a board to practice for next year’s tournament.
Booming Banter 