Some days I receive messages from my readers. This morning Uncle Dave sent me a suggestion for a Christmas gift I might request from Santa.
It’s like a weighted blanket in reverse that makes you feel like you’re floating on a cloud. Calms the worst anxiety and tames the wildest beasts.
Moments later Cousin Krishna sent this story.
A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them. After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he called out, ‘Excuse me, where are we?’ ‘This is Heaven, sir,’ the man answered. Would you happen to have some water?’ the man asked. Of course, sir. Come right in, and I’ll have some ice water brought right up’. The man gestured, and the gate began to open. ‘Can my friend,’ gesturing toward his dog, ‘come in, too?’ the traveler asked.
‘I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t accept pets.’ The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog. After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book. ‘Excuse me!’ he called to the man. ‘Do you have any water?’ ‘Yeah, sure, there’s a pump over there, come on in..’ ‘How about my friend here?’ the traveler gestured to the dog. There should be a bowl by the pump.’ They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree. ‘What do you call this place?’ the traveler asked. This is Heaven,’ he answered. ‘Well, that’s confusing,’ the traveler said. ‘The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.’ ‘Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That’s hell.’ ‘Doesn’t it make you mad for them to use your name like that?’ ‘No, we’re just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind❤️
Made me think that one day when we’re all in heaven I’ll have to share both bed and bowl with Nala so maybe I should start being just a little kinder to her now on earth.
Remember a few days ago Ma went out shopping. Today I’m going to divulge what she got.
Before I move on I want you to reflect on that word DIVULGE because for me it conjures up dark hidden secrets and is appropriately chosen.
See what happened was on Saturday Mega ate a decoration for dessert immediately following her dinner. She then promptly threw the whole meal back up onto the parents treasured carpet. They’d bought it in Tunisia in 1986 and it had travelled all around the world with them.
The bro was charged with cleaning up his daughters mess which was copious in quantity as that kibble swells like a balloon in the stomach in no time at all. That almost caused a second incident. Enough said!
Ma declared she could survive no longer with Miss I Eat Everything if she wasn’t armed correctly. She needed a steam cleaner.
She took Dad with her the next day to find one and yesterday she and the bro got down to business.
When I saw the size of this new beast and inspected it’s capacity to clean I did a swift U-turn and got off side. There was no way my tail was going to get mangled with that force.
I resurfaced to see what it could do only when all noise had ceased.
Heavens you would not believe what it extracted. Pure unadulterated sludge is the only description I have.
But you should have seen the big smile on Ma’s face. Some gals need diamonds shes happy with dirt!!!
Thanks to my banter Ma learns new things all the time.
Take this morning I said to her “take up thy plume dear scribe and write about the diversity of yesterday”
First we dissected the meat from the remains of the Turkey and made stock with the bones. While that was simmering we delved under the sink to pull out all the dead ends of wax from this year to make memory candles. Finally we sequestered Jaws in her chamber and after lunch we got to baking for the Victorian Christmas before adjourning for a small slumber ourselves.
That’s when it hit me we had a nursery rhyme of a day.
So of course we had to Wiki to find out about the origins of the famous ditty.
It dates from the fourteenth century. Not so surprised about that BUT!
Shock horror. It’s about noble professional being caught in the act of being naughty . Oh dear me!!!
We slept in this morning. Didn’t wake up till 7:15. That’s like a once a year event. Meant everything was a rush and Ma got into a mood because she didn’t get her coffee and me time.
She could get mad about anything that woman. Don’t tell Santa I said that! Just pretend she’s an Angel.
Rattled on that she does everything in this place and gave orders to Dad to dust and make the dinner and to the bro to get that $&@@£¥ tree up.
Truth be told she was fuming because she had to go to the tearoom. It was small business Saturday but she had no bookings because it coincided once again with the biggest game of the season Ohio State versus Michigan that everyone stays home to watch. What the heck!!!
She returned remorseful for being so cross to find butter turkey was cooked and the tree was up.
In addition the bro had decorated the dining room and the fireplace to boot. There’s still a little tidying up to do but he was distracted by the game that Ohio lost spectacularly.
Now I am persuaded his handwork is perfect and Mom agreed that it was wonderful but I predict there may be a little rearranging done.
I was busy all yesterday morning keeping Jaws in check and making sure she didn’t get near the bird.
We watched the big one at The Macy’s Parade while ours was in the oven.
The Radio City Musical Hall girls must eat a lot of it because the way they kick their legs is amazing.
After the singing and dancing we watched the National Dog show. Jaws though she should be on it. Talk about aspirations of grandeur!
When we have holiday dinners we always get out my Granny’s Willow Pattern china. It makes us feel like she and Grandpa are with us.
After a snooze we felt they’d sent us a message via HULU. We found their favorite soap was being shown so we watched a few episodes.
It’s been so long since Ma has seen it she didn’t know many of the characters anymore so we switched to a drama called FIVE DAYS.
Even Dad was glued to this one and we kept saying we’ll watch just one more episode. When it got to 10:45 and the plot was still thickening like Mum’s gravy we decided we better binge on the rest tonight.
So with square eyes and round tummies we adjourned to slumber.