Booming Banter

Precious Peeps it’s Pits. I have just endured the worst night of my life.

It all started around 4:00 pm just after I ate my dinner. I went out into the yard to look for Conker and then a huge black cloud rolled in.

I abandoned any thoughts of playing and quickly returned to Kong in the kitchen just before it started pouring.

Soon the thunder rolled in so I stuck like glue to Granny and it went on and on.

By 6:00 pm I’d had enough and went to my chamber and got right under the bed. Even when Dad came home I stayed there and wouldn’t get out.

Granny texted Auntie Marsha and told her that I was forecasting a very big storm.

As the evening progressed things continued to get worse. I kid you not this went on for hours.

Finally at 10:30pm the tornado sirens started roaring with load voicing crying out “Seek Shelter Now”.

Granny put on the news and the eye of the storm was right above our town.

Friends started texting us from other places to see if we were OK.

Finally at 11:15 the all clear was given for the tornado threat that had moved east but the wretched thunderstorm continued.

I kid you not it went on until 3:00 am and I am still very shaky.

I really don’t feel quite like my little Pretty Pitty self but here’s the silver lining in this sad story. I am a better weather forecaster than any human or groundhog.

Blessing#2731-Precision

Precious Peeps it’s your very own Pretty Pitty here to whistle you into this holiday weekend. Don’t you just love Easter with all the bunnies abounding!

Well now do I have a secret to tell you but you must promise not to tell Kong!

I have a new admirer. He’s been frequenting our yard these past days and is feasting on our clover and dandelions.

Can you guess who he is?

Well he sure is cute here’s some clues. He is about the size of a big cat with a bushy tail and when he’s eating he uses his front paws and sits up just like a little old man!

Did you get it? Yes indeed I’m being hotly pursued by a groundhog. We have a famous one in this town called Buckeye Chuck who predicts the weather just like that critter with the funny name in Pennsylvania! I’m guessing my beau must be related to Buckeye so I’m calling him Conker. If you can work that out you get a prize.

Anyway he’s cute and great for a chase around the yard. Granny has yet to get him on camera so here’s a photo of Auntie Bonnie’s beloved family member who’s lived with her for years.

Aren’t I the lucky lady to have so many dates! Bet y’all are a tad jelly.

Must rush now just in case Conker is over for brekkie. It’s that time!

Love you all and once again do not tell The Fish in the Dish!

Blessing#2730-Beau with Toes

Well she’s up! Artemis that is! Can you imagine that for the first time we’re going to see the dark side of the moon. I can’t wait to find out if the stars seem brighter or if Mars is redder or Saturn’s rings are rockier!

I asked Mom why the spaceship is called Artemis and she didn’t know more than it’s the name of a Greek Goddess.

So of course we had to dig and share with you.

For heavens sake don’t tell Jaws or she might be seeking a name change.

Oh and by the way my toots are tender and smell heavenly!

Blessing#2729-Take Off

Precious Peeps it’s the Pretty Pitty here to heave you over the humpty.

Can you imagine it is April Fool’s Day once again. That means a quarter of this year has past.

Do you play jokes on each other. I love doing it.

Today Kong and I are going to simultaneously pretend we’ve been gassed by a Scooby fart! I’m going to lie still under the bar stools and he is going to float without moving.

When Granny starts to panic and run around like a headless chicken I’m going to jump on her and Kong is going to splash around like crazy.

Granny will be all over the moon when we’re resurrected and will give us both extra snacks.

Hope we have inspired you to do something silly just for fun.

If you don’t have a hooman close by try tricking yourself. Pretend you’re posh for a five minutes and put on your best upper class accent and have a good old chin wag!

When you’re done you can giggle.

There now you are all set. Continue to be like me and don’t take life too seriously unless it storms.

I love you almost as much as Kong. Talk Friday!

Blessing#2728-Poisson D’Avril

It was Goldilocks weather yesterday so we got two good trots.

I thought I’d share with you how I gaze at Mum to encourage her to get her boots on.

It is most important to combine a look of love combined with deep hope and longing.

It’s imperative not to show teeth. I put a few tears in my eye for full effect.

You should try this.

If you have something you really want from someone or you have to ask for a special favor or if your bargaining for a better deal be like me.

At the worst people will feel sorry for you. At best you’ll get what your heart desires.

Blessing#2727-Getting Your Way

Every now and then Ma has to have a “fix” of Gandhi.

It usually happens on a Sunday when the world is in chaos and she has made some sort of curry for dinner.

So it was yesterday that we, make that they., had swai (bought in large quantities at the Chinese grocery) cooked up in a good madras mix.

Smell was good is all I can say!

It was then on with the epic movie that even I have now seen so many time I know the words.

Ma always gives off at the same things and Dad always tells the same stories and the Bro always puts on his best Indian accent and pretends to be Patel!

One thing that’s missing in that movie is a dog. Ma tells me there are plenty of strays on the streets in Indian and even back in the day posh Indian people kept them so where are they? All that walking and no dogs doesn’t ring true!

I must have a peaceful protest on this point. It won’t be a hunger strike though.

Blessing#2726-Home Cinema

I had a sleepover with my Bro last night. He’d been away all day so when he came home he quickly ate his takeout and adjourned to his chambers.

The niece and I followed and we all got into his bed to watch some sport.

His room is fab! It’s got all sorts of things in it like flags and posters and rugby jerseys and football cards and red bull lights and merchandising.

There is so much going on that the only place to sleep is in the bed with the Bro or the nieces crate and obviously for reasons of olfactory objection I wouldn’t dream of sleeping there.

So while it was a tight squeeze the three of us managed to get a fair kip all together in bed.

Ma said she was lonely though so I’ll return to usual arrangements tonight.

Blessing#2725-Bunking Up

Did you know yesterday was world theatre day? Didn’t even know that existed but there are days for everything now.

Anyway, it was ironic but unplanned that Ma and Pa should choose yesterday to go with Auntie Marsha and Uncle Jim to THE PALACE!

They went to see a tribute to Streisand and Sinatra and said it was really good the singers were super and the band was brilliant!

I like it when they go out at night because I get to hang out with the Bro. OK the niece is there too which is loathsome but the Bro is handy with the snacks and likes to watch Scooby Doo cartoons on the big flat screen.

I hear my name over and over and over again and it makes me smile.

It’s such a change from Royals and Midwives and Escape to the Country that is Ma’s masala or worst of all those judges that Dad obsesses about.

I can’t wait till they go out again!

Blessing#2724-Showtines

Precious Peeps it the DISH and the FISH here to whistle you into the weekend.

We had quite a bumpy ride from about 8:00 pm yesterday with tornadoes twisting in the region but we survived.

We comfort each other in times of trauma by whispering sweet nothings to each other.

If you don’t have a loved one at hand you can always talk to yourself. That way you can be sure that you’re listened to.

If you’re feeling like you’d like some fun over the weekend you can also dance. We do that often around our kitchen island. Our favorite is the Mashed Potato that we usually do with The Chicken.

Dancing alone is maybe not quite so fun as having a little partner to party with but consider it! A little bar work maybe if you’re feeling posh or a belly dance if you’re in a more exotic mood.

There now, aren’t you glad you tuned into us today. Now you’re all set to be as fabulous as we are even if you’re not loved up.

Take care and we’ll talk soon in the meantime we love you but we love each other more.

Blessing#2723-Dance Moves

We have new pets! They have taken to flying in each morning and perching on our fence.

We think they think our pool is a little lake

It does have some water on the cover so it might be deceptive.

They make a bit of a racket but we can accept.

Ma loves ducks and has a whole collection of ornamental ones. She admires that they mate for life.

We are just wondering have they nested in our yard or are they just here for the sport.

They better be careful or Jaws may have them as a snack.

We think we’ll call them Donald and Melania that would be Donny and Mel for short since they’re family now.

Blessing#2722-New Arrivals