Precious Peeps it’s Pits here to heave you over the humpty.
Does your Granny sometimes get grumpy? Mine does!
This morning she was telling me she has had it with spam. She had no less than 95 messages in her junk folder in less than 24 hours. We know because when you move them to trash it say “delete 95 message” when you go to get rid of them.
Granny told me that when she was young spam was a type if luncheon meat she often had in the sandwiches she took to school.
We got to thinking of all the spam makers out there in cyberspace. Not the honest ones who make the ham in the can. Who pays them? Do they just decide to set up to annoy people or worse steal from them?
I suggested to Granny that I could create a firewall for her. Every time a spam hits us I could reply with a message saying “beware hungry ham eating Pitty in place”
Granny said it was kind of me to try to help but it wouldn’t be good for my reputation as a Perfect Princess.
This got me thinking. Do the Royals get spam too? They probably have staff paid to sit and delete it. Wouldn’t it be something if they politely replied “HRH is thankful for your request to open an overseas bank account to settle her debts and is happily insured for such matters yours truly the crown prosecutors”
Now we have had some jolly out of this we feel better and hope you will too when you’re deleting your junk today.
Off now to kiss Kong. Love y’all almost as much as him but not nearly as much as me.
They were having a corn hole tournament at church yesterday so Ma signed the Bro and her up as a team.
She’d never played it before so it was a tad embarrassing for the Bro. For those of you who don’t know the first team to score 21 wins. You get one point if your bag lands on the board and three if it goes in the hole. If you go above 21 by getting a three pointer when you have already 19 points or more you go back to 11.
In the time they played which must have been a good half hour Ma hit the board only once. She hit the trees at least ten times. The Bro was mortified.
Worse still when they and their opponents were both at 20 points what did Ma do but get a shot in the hole.
It was unbelievable. It was like missing a penalty in the World Cup final shoot offs.
On the way home though having scoffed a hotdog the Bro did concede she’d improved over the course of the competition and that they just might need to get a board to practice for next year’s tournament.
Well our team is off to a good start in the World Cup footie. We’re cheering for Scotland because most people in Ulster where Ma comes from have Scottish blood in their veins and Northern Ireland and The Republic of Ireland didn’t make it through.
Scotland also have a very catchy song out about a Granny going to the games so Ma feels an even closer connection.
It’s been a long time since they had a win at the World Cup 36 years to be precise! Most of their fans probably weren’t born then.
It’s just amazing what a bit of sport can do for moral. Our coverage is all in Spanish so who knows by the end of this we might be able to say a little more than “dos cerveza por favor”
If Scotland continue there winning streak we might be able to ask for haggis!
She put chicken on the grill. It was the good greasy stuff with skin and bone so it sizzled up nicely.
While it was cooking she had a swim.
I love that smell and somehow when you grill chicken it doesn’t dry up like it does in the oven. I know because Dad always gives the niece and me a taste.
We have one of those electric George Foreman types of grills so when it all cooled down enough Ma removed the cooking plate and let the niece and me clean it.
It’s such a divine occupation.
Jesus made BBQ for his disciples when he was resurrected so I’m pretty sure they cook out in heaven.
She put chicken on the grill. It was the good greasy stuff with skin and bone so it sizzled up nicely.
While it was cooking she had a swim.
I love that smell and somehow when you grill chicken it doesn’t dry up like it does in the oven. I know because Dad always gives the niece and me a taste.
We have one of those electric George Foreman types of grills so when it all cooled down enough Ma removed the cooking plate and let the niece and me clean it.
It’s such a divine occupation.
Jesus made BBQ for his disciples when he was resurrected so I’m pretty sure they cook out in heaven.
Precious Peeps it’s little old me the PERFECT one and only PITS here to whistle you into the weekend.
I have been helping Granny with some cleaning. The sofas tend to get a little salty this time of year so I’ve been giving them a good old polish.
As you know this drives Grandpa insane but Granny encourages it as it saves her a job! So I tend to take the opportunity when she’s in the hot seat to give it a real good going over.
Granny was so pleased with my work she said to me let’s take a selfie of you at work my little Precious Pitty. So we did.
As always though the stinking “mushroom” had to get in on the act. He always sticks his big nose into everything.
I’m so glad he is ugly and you know what he feels like fungi.
Anyway I will ignore him as always and pursue my career in furniture restoration. I’ve created an advertising campaign!
If you’d kindly promote me I’d be happy to take on work outside the home.
Have a wonderful weekend and remember you’re nearly as fabulous as me!
Off now to kiss Kong! Please feel free to nuke the nemesis if you happen to see him creeping across ground near you anytime soon.
Booming Banter 