Ma stuck the dinner in the slow cooker so there wasn’t any cooking going on. She didn’t even peel the spuds in they went skin and all.
No laundry, no cleaning, no baking no nothing except Church and two trots.
So the bro thought we should all watch something funny together and introduced us to Family Guy. It’s one of his favs.
The best episode we saw was when Brian the dog went to India to meet his true love Padma from the call center. He’d been in touch with her often by phone to solve his IT issues now he was determined to marry her.
Perfect capture of Indian culture and city life. I feel a trip coming on!
The things that disrupt my sleep are unbelievable. I have the patience of a saint listening to the ramblings of my Ma and I am not nearly adequately appreciated!
Last night as she was slugging back her fizzy water around 2:00am Ma was struck by the word QUAFF!
That’s a great word Scoob she said why don’t we use it more often? Like who cares Ma. On and on and she went. Wonder is it related to COIF as in coifed from the French coiffure?
She should have got up and googled it there and then because for the next hour she was speculating how the two words may be linked.
Turns out she wasn’t the first to ask the question and no it has nothing to do with hairdos. It’s all about excess from the low German.
We ventured out shortly before eight yesterday morning. It was raining but nothing major. We hadn’t turned the corner when we heard thunder. It rolled in real quick. So I, like Jaws, was forced to perform close to my own home pitch which I detest.
When we got back Mega mouth refused the treats Dad had prepared for us and slunk off under the biggest piece of furniture she could find.
Now I have to admit the storm was pretty bad by this stage and she took to shaking.
I had to come to her rescue with big love.
See you all think I’m a nasty old grumpy but I have a heart of gold.
I’ll be waiting for your fan mail to show your appreciation of my courage and composure not to mention my compassion under these circumstances.
My secretary had to take a few days to calm down before issuing this statement.
We are big fans of Anderson Cooper. He seems to be a decent sort. He got the interview with H for sixty minutes and we are going to accept that he had to do it and move on. He didn’t pretend to be shocked or put on any funny faces like Oprah. He just asked questions. Anderson you’re OK man!
As for H we have turned the page he is a done deal.
Granny got her numbers wrong yesterday. Did you notice? Sometimes she looses count.
Anyway I’ll forgive her because she is ancient and it wasn’t my post it was the old stinkers.
I’m helping her around the house doing a bit of cleaning because she was so good to me this weekend so I owe her.
She was mad at me on Saturday because I took off on our evening trot after a herd of deer. She nearly had a heart attack getting me back. This made me very thirsty so I drank a whole bowl of water and some time later had a little accident on the carpet which I haven’t done for years while Granny was watching Escape to the Chateau.
Granny gave off stink to my poor Dad. Sent him a text saying she was sick of taking care of me and that he did nothing so he could take the tree down and do the vacuuming and and and.
She got a shock because when she woke up on Sunday the tree and all the decor was gone and the vacuum was lying ready for action.
So all was forgiven and we were all friends again.
She and Dad took me and the Gizz to the dog park on Sunday afternoon.
It’s a swell place. Even has its own beach but it was too cold for swimming.
Normally we would go in the big dog area but there were two tiny little kids in there as well as dogs which was a bit silly so Granny said we’d go in the little dog park which was empty.
We had a great time didn’t do anything but play catch and chase for half an hour.
Was exhausted and thirsty and hungry on my return.
Hope to go back soon. I’m turning into a great runner. Maybe I’ll work on hurdles next!!!
Granny sort of half heartedly started to “slim” last week. She’s eating oatmeal again for breakfast which is totally disgusting and not nearly as tasty for me as peanut butter on toast!
Since it was mild she took us for longer walks in the evening but walking an extra mile burns off about two raisins so that didn’t help much.
She was good on the wine and the snacks Monday to Thursday but then went overboard on the pizza and nachos and brownies and fizz on Friday.
Oh dear. Not even a good round pound down!
I offered her my Kong to chew on but she declined. Said it was too rich for her delicate stomach!!
Still she smiled when she braved the scales yesterday morning because they went in the right direction.
I’m behaving like an angel and my transgression is forgiven. Ma can be gracious especially when she has something soft and fluffy to cuddle up to.
Did you have a good start to the year? Or did you like me get into a few oopses already?
Cousin Krishna sent me this poem which I absolutely adore because it perfectly sums up my philosophy on life and what was and what is to come.
Don’t even bother trying to be anything other than content and just enjoy the best things in life like a good sleep followed by some snoozing far far away from Jaws or any other thing that gets on your nerves.
Booming Banter 