Booming Banter

Yesterday was international yoga day. We forgot but our Guru cousin Krishna reminded us.

We do our Sun salutations most days. Although with it also being the summer solstice we don’t always make it out before dawn these mornings.

I am pretty flexible and good at up dogs and down dogs but the Pit has me beat when it comes to stretching.

I am not quite sure how she does it but she manages to elongate her body into a sausage like conformation.

It doesn’t just last for a second either she can stay like that for half an hour.

I believe in a past life she may have lived in an ashram.

Wonder would they take her back I’m fed up being nice to her. She’s very gifted at the prayer pose!

Blessing#1374-Namaste

Since Pits was so pleasant in her posting about my personal training skills I gave her a little slack yesterday. I so totally am a gentle giant!

Ma found a new pod cast about Prince Charles so we all adjourned to our chambers to listen to it.

We played a little then snuggled some and then the little Princess fell asleep.

She was as sweet as that water melon she recommended. I patted her little Pitty head.

It has an addition use that watermelon.

Serves as super strong hair gel for your whiskers when you’ve had a feast on it which we did with Ma.

Gives great definition to color and character of my cruncher and made we feel a bit like I too was born to rule.

Blessing#1373-Styling Support

There is no doubt I am an outstanding beauty. Many have asked me to share my tips. My devoted public are particular intrigued by my ability to remain svelte while eating like a horse.

I am THE living breathing French PITTY paradox.

Part of my Perfection lies in my genes. I have been blessed with muscularity. Genes are no excuse though for being ugly. You still got to work on being a beauty.

Exercise is essential. Build up whatever muscle you have with plenty of interval training. If you haven’t got one find a personal trainer to beat you up. The Gizz is mine. Have them chase you round in circles for at least an hour each day.

Cardio and build up complete work on the steps. For this you may need companionship to keep you motivated. Granny is good. She can’t chase me round in circles like the Gizz but she can walk to the park and back or round Cardinal Hill.

Talk as you go and do a bit of wildlife and plant spotting. If that gets boring play Dancing Queen and other such disco music to make you skip.

If you can do this multiple times daily it will help a lot but ultimately you must manage your intake as well as your output.

Regular well balanced meals are essential but if you must snack choose wisely. Eat wood or grass if you can as it passes straight though. If that doesn’t appeal and you still have a desire to chew think of things that take time.

This morning as an example I pulled down some dried banquette from the counter. When it gets real hard it is a bit like wood.

Always have salad as it’s like eating grass only humans usually put sauce on it.

Finally, fill your gut with fluid ideally water in any form. Go slow on the sugar but a little now and then is OK.

Voilà! Easy peasy lemon squeezey!

Should you have questions please post and I’ll get back to you as your very only Pitty Personal Perfectionist!

Blessing#1372-Régime

What else dear reader can I do today than pay tribute to my Dad.

I love him beyond measure because he is my major purveyor of treats.

A devotee of the Oreo and Custard Cream cookie he generously shares the same with me each morning. He also keeps me pieces from his dinner plate each evening and chops them into tiny pieces to delight my palate.

He is also a person of great intellectual capacity that I have inherited by osmosis. He never tires of filling his mind with new knowledge hence the book that is eternally attached to his arm.

On occasions when the bro returns with unexpected gifts such as a tiny black worm he is gracious if somewhat gobsmacked.

He has a full room of clothes bearing labels such as Dior and Balmain yet he is often dressed by Walmart.

His favorite grey vestment has to be occasionally prized from his body by my Ma to be refreshed.

Please note dear reader the frequency with which he has been photographed in this garb if you do not believe me.

On occasion though he does dress up and looks quite fine setting an example for the bro.

We are all delighted to report that after a rocky road this year he has been completely freed from the oxygen tube for the past two weeks.

We love you Dad and hope you enjoy the pancakes we’re going to make you for brunch because Ma has declared your getting no more books!

Blessing#771-PaPaw

This is one you won’t believe but it’s gospel!

To say I was ecstatic when I awoke this morning would be an understatement.

Bliss had returned. The air was cool as yesterday’s five day forecast had indicated.

Ma dutifully did as I instructed and rolled up the blinds and opened the windows.

Let’s go girl I said I cannot wait to chill.

She prepared my brekkie adding hot chicken grease she’d kept from dinner a few nights ago especially for me.

I was bursting though so couldn’t eat more than a nibble till I did my pee.

She noted the signals and took me out.

That’s when it happened.

We returned instantaneous to find jaws with her massive muzzle in my bowl.

She gets more like that wolf in Goldilocks every single day.

Not a morsel did she leave me. Licked that bowl to sparkling clean.

How the heck though did she escape from the basement?

That door doesn’t even have a handle she could push down!

The only thing I can think of is she opened it with her mouth.

Maybe with just a little encouragement she might open the front door.

It’s one of those clever ones that you can get out but you can’t get back in. Sweet.

Blessing#1370-Deadlocks

Greetings my passionate public it is your very own PITS publishing today from the heat haze we call home!

I’m using the abbreviated terminology as Princesses can’t be anything other than cool and today I’m definitely hot.

The Grey Gizz is too worn out to even think let alone compose although the need to keep his gob open does give him a happier than normal allure.

He has also become extremely stinky in this climatic challenge. That coat is just odoriferously overwhelming. Worse than Granny’s feet! Do not plan to visit us until we have scheduled Stanley Steamer.

He has given up the fight and I snagged the slipper but we are competing on a different front now. Tongue length.

Young and gracious as I am let me tell you I have him beaten.

Not only have I the biggest and widest smile in the canine kingdom I also possess the longest and loveliest lingua.

Thanks to this buccal bounty I also can stay cooler than most even when faced with the fiercest foe.

Triumphant is the only word for it!

Blessing#1369-Surface Area

I love my bro. He has saved my sanity.

See with record breaking temperatures our air conditioning packed up again. It just could not handle the pressure any longer!! Blew up or to be more accurate fizzled out like a stinky fart.

The fixer is scheduled to come this morning but there is little hope he’ll be able to repair it this time. Looks like we’ll have to install a new unit which will take time. We might have it by Christmas!!!!

All this panting I have to do to thermoregulate is tiresome and makes you so thirsty. We emptied the freezers ice capacity yesterday such was the demand for the crunchy cooling cubes.

Walks are no fun either they only make you hotter but Mega is so determined to get in her steps she’s walking herself.

The bro and Mega have moved to the basement which may explain why she still has some energy but I have to take care of the aged Ps so I’m baking on the first floor with them.

I believe Ma is secretly getting her steps in elsewhere. That Tearoom AC is working just fine!!!!

Anyway not to worry the bro has stepped in. He’s caused an out of stock situation at Walmart by buying a slew of industrial scale fans.

They are gigantic and sound like helicopters taking off but they are most effective.

I am extremely grateful. Never again will I say a bad word about him. His daughter? Well that’s a different story!

Blessing#1368-Aeration

I find it too hot to eat but it hasn’t stopped the vacuum cleaner or the humans. They’re all still munching away.

This climatic challenge has resulted in one point on which Mega and I have reached agreement.

It’s too hot to fight.

We are just floppy.

We have taken a sofa each.

I can’t even get a good sleep though because it’s too stuffy.

I which I could use scissors.

I’d clip all this hair off and run around stark naked. On that front the thing has an advantage over me.

We could be a lot worse. The poor Franklin County dog shelter along with an awful lot of people have no power.

They put out an appeal for ice last evening and people responded so fast that all the puppies are OK.

Think I’ll have a bowl of that for my brekkie.

Blessing#1367-Slushees

We are having a heat wave. I hear y’all singing along à la Carmen Miranda!

We got our walk in while it was still just warm rather than roasting.

Now we have adjourned to the basement to chill.

Ma got her baking all done Sunday and yesterday so we are watching documentaries about the Royals and having a complete do nothing day.

I’m trying to get a nice nap in on Moms lap but herself wants to play pillow fights.

She hasn’t spent much time down here so is exploring all the things to chew.

It’s one of my favorite spots in our place as in these depths there is no CNN.

I get sick of all the talk about gas and stocks.

Really I’m so glad it’s hot it really is quite cool just hanging out the three of us.

Blessing#1366-Underground

I’m getting closer and closer to getting rid of « It »

Yesterday morning she got herself into another big bit of bother.

It’s one of her summer favorites.

We went out for a walk as usual with PJ and Eddie and it was only when we left them Ma discovered the « thing » had pawed a big hole in her dress.

A nice little soft cotton number it is.

Fortunately it has a little underskirt or she’d have been walking home exposing her nickers.

See « It » has claws like Johnny Scissorhands. She uses them to shred all sorts of material. This though got her into deep trouble.

Ma has warned that any more destruction of material or matter and she’s getting no more attention. The bro will be her sole (soul?) provider.

You’d think butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth. That innocent I thought it was the fashion look and was just helping you Granny. Well she’s no Donatella Ma and me have her well and truly sussed!

Blessing#1365-Stylist