Author: boomingbanter

Precious Peeps it’s your very own PITTY Princess.

I was much maligned by that monster mash yesterday so I have to defend myself among those of you who value my perfection!

See I am half starved. I only get two meals a day and a milk bone and that’s why I have to resort to eating road kill and hay.

You may think Granny is a sweet little old lady for whom butter would not melt in her mouth but trust be she can be as tough as dried squirrel and as hard as nails.

She’s all smiles at the tearoom and sweet as a scone with jam and cream but she’s a terrible old scold with me.

If any of you are interest in adopting a Princess I would even forsake my Dad to escape the horror of the grumpy old gizzard and Granny.

Send help!!

Blessing#1752-Rescue

As you are well aware our neighborhood is overrun with squirrels that MEGA loves to chase on a daily basis.

Regularly, they meet untimely deaths not at the hands of the Demonic Presence but due to their inability to gauge the speed of traffic.

Such was the case of one critter whose squashed remains somehow made their way into our next door neighbors yard.

There they became sun baked until such times as they resembled fur covered rawhide.

That’s when Miss MEGA got them and a battle of epic proportions between her and Ma ensued.

Man there is a reason she is nicknamed JAWS.

Poor Ma wrestled with her to pull that piece of dried meat from her mouth for a good five minutes but each time the THING came up for air she clamped back down on it.

You know Ma though. Wouldn’t give up in spite of my trying to convince her that either JAWS would choke on it or she’d die of food poisoning and we’d get rid of her once and for all one way or another.

Ma won. You can only imagine the spectacle it was for those early morning commuters going down our street.

No doubt they went into work and told tales of an elderly grey haired women grappling with a pit bull but none of them stopped to help.

Alas the CREATURE survived and Ma forgave her. Next time she absolutely must let her choke.

Blessing#1750-Dead Squirrel Society

It may have escaped your attention that Christmas is now less than six months away.

Ma of course is on the ball as always buying treasures for her tearoom. She gets many of these at yard sales that are in full swing right now.

She finds all sorts of « junk ». Don’t tell her I said that! Last week in addition to two strings of big bulb Christmas lights and vintage ceramics bowls she got two pretty plates that she has hidden in the green monster

You’d never guess looking at this view that hidden in its depths and out of view for now are all sorts of secrets!!!

Seek and you shall find!!!!

That’s not the deal of the day though! Last week she bought an old record player. She’d had one earlier and marked it up so much she never thought she’d sell it but she did.

This new one plays better and has a radio too. She’s marked it so high (not hi-fi (joke!)) that Warren Buffet would need to come past for tea to afford it.

Of course this gives her an excuse to now look for more LPs so go on it and guess what she found yesterday?

Of course you got it! A three volume Christmas album. Perfection!! Now here’s hoping she sells it along with the record player so I get a great big present from Santa!

Blessing#1749-Deal Maker

We are under an air quality alert because the forest fires of our neighbors to the north are still burning.

This time the mid west is getting it worse than the east coast and no joking you can smell it.

We noticed yesterday when we were out on our trot that our throats were tickling and we felt a bit sleepy when we got home.

Ma said that when she left our road it got worse and worse until it was just like a fog.

It’s set to last for another few days so we’re keeping Dad indoors till it blows away. I’m guarding him.

Poor peeps in Canada must be really suffering. Alas no end in sight!

Blessing#1748-Wind Word

Remember yesterday started out bad well it improved greatly.

In the afternoon Ma and Me went cruising.

I’m learning to drive. It’s not that hard.

I just point.

We played our favorite tunes and then we went down on the farm.

It’s huge and it’s close to our place and they have started a market.

We were looking for lamb but they only had sausage.

Don’t tell these dudes but mid July they’ll be available for BBQ!

Blessing#1747-Free Range

It’s always upsetting when my morning is out of sync.

See Ma slept in until 7:00 which meant she couldn’t type my banter in bed.

I had to jump on her to get her up and when she did she went straight to making coffee and then got to the white washing.

Since this takes forever she wanted to get it on before we went for our walk.

Now and then she can’t stand the smell of the bros room any longer so she cracks and does his sheets too.

The consequence of this is she has to go in the room to strip his bed which means The Beast is released.

This means IT has to be fed immediately and taken out to off load the hay IT ate the night before.

Outcome?

The whites are washing but I got no brekkie and Ma got no coffee and as always THE THING got spoiled.

I’m fuming and she’s rolling around in ecstasy! Hateful hound! I might just eat her!

Blessing#1746-Clean Sheets

The season has started when you need to be prepared to descend to the basement and ride out the storm.

Around these parts they give you plenty of time to prepare and if anything gets real close they sound the sirens.

This all starts with a watch. This is another way of saying just hang out at home which we had and did last night. We just huddled together with the bro, Dad read his book and Ma got on with watching THE CHOSEN which never seems to end!!

If things materialize we move to a warning. That didn’t happen last night but it’s good to be prepared and once the worst is past just eat those snackies!!!

Blessing#1745-Doppler Radar

Have you been wondering why I’ve been so silent of late on my bid for the White House?

The reason is I have been directing all my funds into research.

In order to win it’s essential to have a message that generates interest and that resounds within the heart of the masses.

As an Independent, to be victorious, I must draw from both established parties in my campaign. It’s really all about psychology.

After intense efforts I reached a milestone in my mission and have unlocked the insight that will determine my path forward.

Blessing#1744-Stay Grounded

It was a super stinky horrible day yesterday.

Clean brought out the poodle in me even though we only walked to the end of our street for the necessary business.

I came back and huffed.

So did TROUBLE.

She then ate a few paper napkins and Dad went ballistic.

Since he was having a snarling fit at herself I joined in too.

Nothing for it on a day like that than a nice murder most foul!

Blessing#1743-Who Done It’s!

There may be only three steps to heaven but The THING has to turn around a few more times than that to get to slumber land.

First, she perches on my look out post.

Soon she slips down a bit.

She turns around one time and then another

and at last after a final twist she’s gone oh if only it was for good.

Blessing#1742-Nodding Off