Author: boomingbanter

You never know what you’ll find when you go out for a pee of a morn.

Yesterday I alerted Ma to something lying under one of our neighbors big trees.

We inspected.

It was the most perfectly formed little birds nest.

Fortunately it was empty.

Ma said that the bro’s ancestors might have made soup with it.

I said she should lift it as JAWS would have it as a snack and who knows what the consequences of that might be!

Blessing#1782-Pennies from Heaven

Precious Peeps it’s Pits Perfect.

I’m so happy because the stinking Gizz has his nose out of joint purportedly because of a fruit.

Lies all lies.

He is twisted with guile because I have a Dad you loves me beyond measure.

I can do no wrong!

I am PITS PERFECT.

He only has an old wrinkly who loves plants more than him.

Blessing#1781-Justice

These past two months I have been suffering from intense jealousy. It has nothing to do with a PIT and the attention she gets.

Instead it is directed towards another plant that Ma has been living on since it was a pip.

It’s that wretched tomato she planted in May.

She talks to it more than me and feeds it all sorts of weird things like coffee grounds and crushed egg shells.

It is watered morning and night and little leaves are plucked from it regularly.

Well yesterday the green monster yielded its first fruits. A decent bunch of four for a Caprese plate for each human.

Everyone had to pretend they were the sweetest most delicious tomatoes ever grown especially when combined with Ma’s basil. Give me strength!!!!!

You should have seen the pride on Ma’s face. That I’m so modest but perfect smile!

Made me think though that maybe I’m lucky she doesn’t love me that much as she’s never once tried to eat me.

Blessing#1780-Harvest

These past two months I have been suffering from intense jealousy. It has nothing to do with a PIT and the attention she gets.

Instead it is directed towards another plant that Ma has been living on since it was a pip.

It’s that wretched tomato she planted in May.

She talks to it more than me and feeds it all sorts of weird things like coffee grounds and crushed egg shells.

It is watered morning and night and little leaves are plucked from it regularly.

Well yesterday the green monster yielded its first fruits. A decent bunch of four for a Caprese plate for each human.

Everyone had to pretend they were the sweetest most delicious tomatoes ever grown especially when combined with Ma’s basil. Give me strength!!!!!

You should have seen the pride on Ma’s face. That I’m so modest but perfect smile!

Made me think though that maybe I’m lucky she doesn’t love me that much as she’s never once tried to eat me.

Blessing#1780-Harvest

Ma is a terrible stingy person. She gets her hair cut when she has a coupon.

Can you believe that her hair do cost TEN TIMES less than mine.

She also believes in value for money and more or less has them shave her head when she goes.

I suppose it could be worse she could be one of those gals who goes to a fancy salon and spend a fortune on highlights and such like.

This way she in and out in next to no time.

I won’t show you any before and afters because she still the same to me but just in case others mistake her for a man I’m staking my claim on her.

Blessing#1779-Fast Fix

So you know that storm that Pits was parlé-ing about yesterday well it hit the town where Ma has the tearoom real bad.

Trees down all over this the place.

For once Ma got lucky.

She only lost a limb.

The roof stayed on and the trees stayed up.

They’re big dudes so maybe it’s a warning.

To fell or not to fell that is the question!!!!

Thankfully for now an Angel was watching over us.

Blessing#1778-Staying Rooted

Precious Peeps It’s Pits! I’ve had the most horrible week with these storms. At least one a day. I’m seeking comfort from all sources. Now I listen to the weather on TV and if they say the word thunder I freeze!

Even Grandpa feels sorry for me and offers a snuggle.

You may ask why with temperatures of 95F he is wearing padded clothing and has a blanket on. Well that’s because we keep the AC at 74F so Dad and Granny don’t suffocate.

They are dressed for summer with shorts and tees. I’m glad I don’t t have to worry about wardrobes unlike the Gizz who has to go for the short back and sides.

I’m simply stunning year round even if a little shaky in summer.

Blessing#1777-All Season Star

I have had such a hectic morning. We woke up late as Casey was blowing his whistle for ten minutes at 1:00am so we slept in till 7:00.

I was bursting for a pee so we went straight out and Mia the baby labradoodle from across the street thoughts she’d stop over and say hi. She’s about twice the size of me and quite attractive but I don’t like her going near my Ma.

She’d been chasing deer her Mom said so I decided to do a look out too.

Sure enough there was one chomping down in our yard so I told Ma and she let me out again to bark it bye-bye.

It took off into the shelter of the woods and we went walking.

Ma took us an extra lap this morning as the heat dome is over Ohio so we can’t walk far this evening.

Now I’m back to blog in air conditioned bliss

Blessing#1776-Cooling Off

I am a powerful orator ranking among the greats.

My lung capacity is exercised at every occasion.

I cry out to passing deer, bicyclists, joggers and of course other passing members of my own species.

This training of the trachea takes it toll on Dads and he too begins incessant shouting. Screams of “shut up Scooby” are often heard emanating from our ranch.

I am of the opinion that this is also good for him as it keeps his lungs in shape and gives us both something to do while we wait for Ma to get home.

Fortunately only Ma and the Bro do Siri or she’d join in too.

It will all come in useful soon as I step up and step out on the podium.

Blessing#1775-Power of Speech

It’s Laddie Boy Hardings birthday party today at the presidential library.

I asked Mom if i could go but she said it would be too hot to stay in the car while she was at work.

I feel this is an injustice.

When I’m elected I will ensure dogs are invited to my birthday and allowed to enter air conditioned quarters for as long as they wish.

Bones will be offered so they don’t get bored waiting for their humans to return.

I’m sure everyone will be satisfied and it will become a National Holiday in honor of my ability to instill happiness to all citizens!

Blessing#1774-Bone Fest