Author: boomingbanter

Precious Peeps it’s your Perfect Pitty Partner here to heave you over a very hot humpty.

Yesterday to make matters worse Granny had to bake!

Of course I helped. One of these days they’ll make me a Saint.

We made double batches of everything in the hope we can skip next week. The freezer is full.

Some of our scones stuck together like a shamrock.

We thought Saint Patrick would make a point about this if he’d seen it.

Since he kicked the bucket many moons ago we decided to step in and say it for him.

Father, Son and Holy Ghost we appreciate the visit and we will look forward to breaking this bread shortly.

Have a very happy humpty fans I’ll see you Friday. Stay cool, chew ice cubes!!!

Blessing#2449-Trinity

Ma and Pa left me in charge of the house yesterday morning when they went to do some errands.

I was amazed that they didn’t put the niece in her chambers but left her roaming with me.

I think she too was shocked but Ma said that even though the AC was running full throttle it was a tad toasty upstairs and she felt sorry for the critter who was recovering from our trot to the park.

Amazingly she was relatively well behaved.

Only shredded one pair of Ma’s shoes, displaced a few others and slobbered on them and found a place for Ma’s bra under the dining table.

Perhaps she’ll be trusted more if she continues along this path of redemption.

I’m not sure I can baby sit her longer than a few hours though.

It frazzled my nerves no end trying to keep an eye on her and the deer at the same time!

Blessing#2448-Pilgrim Pitty

It is HOTTER than Hades here now and so it was that we were rather fatigued on our return from our morning trot yesterday.

Just as we turned into our yard it happened.

We were ambling along slowly when boom we spotted a great big Bambi and pulled in unison to go hunt it.

Ma’s hands were so slick with sweat that she let go of us.

We ran like lightening and Ma could not catch us.

I stopped the safari in our neighbors yard. Our neighbor was having a peaceful coffee on her deck as you do and had seen the whole circus.

She told Ma I was down by the bushes but Nala was still in pursuit of the beast into the woods.

Ma grabbed me and ran home and hollered at the bro to get up and find his daughter.

He immediately complied. That tone in Ma’s voice would spur the dead into action!

Ma, who was ushering at church, quickly went to shower as she was so sticky and stinky.

When she came out of the shower the bro was still out looking.

Ten minutes later he was back to get me to help him hunt. Still no sign of Jaws.

Ma took the car and did a reci round the various streets. No joy

The bro returned with me and then who reappears some thirty minutes after her flight but the niece.

She rapped the garage door to get in and proceeded to drink a full bowl of water before collapsing.

Needless to say Ma prayed for management of her nerves!!

Blessing#2447-Homing Pitty

It was the Prine of Wales birthday yesterday and the Princess posted a lovely photo of him with his fur babies.

Orla, his fur daughter had four puppies.

I must say they are very cute.

Can you imagine the beautiful puppies I could have fathered if Ma hadn’t nuked me.

It really is a shame.

I could still step in and be a step Dad to these cuties if there was a need.

I think I’d fit right in that household and it would be an escape from the Pitty Princess!

Should I write to the palace or mount a petition?

Blessing#2446-Perfect Linage

It’s gone from the remake of the great flood to record highs overnight.

I suppose it is summer and I shouldn’t moan.

Heat makes you crazy though.

Did you hear about the dude in Rome who turned left instead of right and landed on the Spanish Steps. He got completely stuck but the police were gentle on him because he was an ancient.

I hate to say it but that’s the sort of thing Ma might do!

She’s not great on directions.

East and West don’t work for her she goes by landmarks.

So she should be glad to have me because I work with the nose!!

Blessing#2445-No Way!!!

Precious Peeps it’s the PERFECT one here to project you into a wonderful weekend.

As you heard from the stinking Gizz I had a little mishap with Granny’s guzzler but she was gracious enough to forgive me almost immediately.

I intend to lead a new life walking from henceforth in her footsteps.

She is such a saint you know and takes such good care of me.

I know that in the past I have had a few misdemeanors that others would have kept record of but not Gran.

I trust you have someone in you life just like her.

I put it down to all that beer she drinks full of divine distillate.

Hope you have one too this weekend as it’s set to get as hot as hades here!

Be like me and let the tongue hit it!

Chin chin!!

Blessing#2444-Pints of Pitty

You know who is in deep trouble?

It’s not hard to work it out.

The PIT of course.

She knocked over Ma’s beer with her big tail and the mess was everywhere.

She was fooling around with her Dad so he got the evil eye from Ma and was simple told “clean it up”.

No please or thank you : just do it!

I went underground briefly as it was a moment of impending doom.

Fortunately peace was restored before bedtime.

There is enough tension in this world at present!!!!

Blessing#2443-Brewing Up

Precious Peeps it’s PITS as ever PERFECT and here to help you over yet another very wet humpty.

Yesterday Granny had on this Irish raincoat that made her look like a fat yellow squeaky bath duck.

We didn’t get very far because while the impermeable was extremely effective in preventing inundation it also was like walking in a sauna.

Today she decided we are just getting wet!

Now I’m not fond of the tears from heaven so since this doesn’t seem to be stopping anytime soon I’m looking for personal solutions.

I hit on this and think it’s very stylish.

Granny says she’s not struggling to get that on me and it could be a danger to passing pedestrians.

Personally I feel it’s divine just like me.

Blessing#2442-Haute Couture

Are you getting worried about this tit for tat in the Middle East?

Ma is keeping cool, Dad is glued to the TV and the Bro has declared World War lll.

It must be horrible for the people and pets in both Israel and Iran.

Can you imagine the noise? It would be like July 4th fireworks on steroids.

Who can step in to mediate?

Jimmy Carter is gone so I rooting for Clinton or Bush or Obama to step up to the challenge and get their suitcases packed

Maybe all three of them can unite together to broker a peace deal.

I’d go too if they need a canine companion

Blessing#244-Peace Makers Please

This Father’s Day malarkey is all well and good but one might consider going to eat at an establishment where canines are welcome.

I know that they had been out noshing yesterday at lunchtime because I could smell the goat curry on their clothes not to mention the puris and tandoori chicken.

The one advantage of this errant behavior is that Ma is induced into a post prandial coma so we got to have an extended napping session.

That suited me fine as the niece was banished to her own chamber and I got some much needed me time with Ma.

Hope that you enjoyed some time with your Pa too if he’s still on this planet if not hope you had some sweet dreams about him anyway!!

Blessing#2440-Spicy Daddy