Author: boomingbanter

It’s another family day out.

We have a viewing at 1:00 pm and as Ma has work at 12:00 we’ll need to vacate the residence by 11:00 am.

Prior to that we must hide all signs of dog life and pretend that pristine people live in this joint.

We have it almost down to a fine art now.

The regular kitchen and bathroom towels are hidden. All chopping boards and condiments removed. No signs of personal hygiene, tooth paste or heaven forbid toilet cleaner should be seen.

Of course anyone with a titter of wit will see this if they look in the right places.

Anyway it will be fun to have a run in the car and a race around the new yard. Our appliances are in so maybe we can grill a steak!!!! Unlikely but a dog can but dream.

Blessing#2562-Time Together

Precious Peeps it’s the PERFECT One here to heave you over the humpty!!

It will be happy because I’m in your life.

All you have to do is think positive like your Pitty Princess!

Think that you are beautiful and smart and happiness will help you heave yourselves over the highest hill.

Keep your nose in the air like me and you might hit on a scent of deer or bunny and then have some desire to run like the wind.

Alternatively just dream about them or meditate on meat.

Failing this do all you can to feel fantastic.

It’s not that hard. If I can live with the stinking Gizz you can overcome anything.

Be brilliant like this beauty and I’ll talk to you on Friday.

Love me like I love you.

Blessing#2561-Reciprocity

Ma doesn’t work on Tuesday unless she gets a party.

She’s working today because she’s got not just one but two.

Her little “hands will do dishes” but before then she has to get the nosh going.

This means an early start as she has to get the shopping in too.

I’d love to go with her but she’s stressing enough about getting things ready on time because the first group is coming at 11:00.

Our trot will be tiny but if she has a good day she might buy us a treat on the way home.

Hint hint!!!!

Blessing#2560-Larks

Do you set an alarm? We very rarely do. We prefer to wake up spontaneously.

Since we go to bed when some people are still eating dinner we wake up early.

We have a preferred wake up time though.

It’s anywhere from 5:45 till 6:00.

Today we hit it on the nose.

This gives us time to snuggle some, do our verse of the day, read messages, check facebook news, clean out the inbox and banter. All in bed I must underline!

It takes time to do all this but our goal is to be up and have the coffee on by 6:45.

One hour is perfect for this.

We can then be comfortably seated for the start of TODAY.

It feels like we’ve already achieved something when we do it just right.

Blessing#2559-Schedule

Sometimes I don’t know what I’m going to Banter about until it’s time to Banter.

So it was this morning.

I thought I might talk about my plans to do nothing today and then Ma read me the thought for today.

I couldn’t believe that it was so perfect.

It helps me underline a point that is often obvious to me we canines are born with the capacity to always be honest.

If we dislike something or someone we just ignore them as best we can. Like me and Jaws.

If on the other hand we love someone we are constantly looking out for them. We cannot feign it. We cannot do enough to protect them.

I think God has canine attributes. I know he made man in his image but his character definitely must be a bit doggy.

Blessing#2558-Truths

I’m looking forward to a weekend of normality. Well as normal as anything can be in this zoo I call home.

First thing this morning I’m meeting my old pals PJ and Eddie. Their Mom is bringing them over to walk with me and Jaws. We haven’t seen them since they moved over a year ago so it will be cool to sniff up.

Ma is doing a party at the tearoom so we can’t walk for too long.

The Bro, when he clocks out, is going to sleep till midday and then get up to watch the OSU game so I’m hoping that Dad and I will get our me time before he rises.

I like my Bro and try to like football but it can drag on a bit. Soccer is more my thing.

If Ma gets finished work early enough she is going for a ride on Uncle Jim’s combine harvester. He’s bringing in the beans at present so that should be fun.

Dad’s on dinner duty as always on Saturday so I know we’re having pizza.

Don’t you just love it when things happen just like they should.

Blessing#2557-Predictability

Precious Peeps it’s me the PERFECT one looking even prettier than a peach. It’s down to all the great shut eye I’ve been having.

Trust me it is hard to improve on exquisiteness but I’ve managed.

Here are my top tips.

Don’t get too angry. Granny does and that’s why she’s so crinkly.

Do smile. Make it a relaxed. Too much teeth can look a tad intimidating.

Next make sure your nails are uniform. Either all short or all long. I prefer the long sends out vibes that you don’t do dishes!

Working out is critical to build and maintain muscle. Try dragging wild weights like a Granny at great speed up hills. Trust me your butt will be beautiful in a matter of weeks.

Hold your head high and accessorize minimally. One large piece is just fine and so subtle!

Finally, lest you get overwhelmed with awesomeness, make sure to eat your greens. My preferred indulgence is grass soaked in dew. It can lead to occasional regurgitation but go for it it’s so stinking special.

There! I’m done for today. Get started immediately and by next weekend you might see some improvement.

In the meantime enjoy yourself and remember it’s no use trying to compete with me as I’ve achieved nirvana.

Blessing#2556-Pitty Pointers

I am glad the Bro is working nights because it keeps Jaws out of my hair.

When we come home from our walk in the morning she immediately heads upstairs to his room to catch up.

She has ears like radar though so when Ma draws ice for her water bottle she knows that Ma is on the way out and will be giving me a MILKY so she’s down those stairs quicker than you can say BONE!

Fortunately she then returns to her chamber and gives Dad and me peace until the Bro surfaces for sustenance.

It’s like old times for me and Dad. We hang out and work on bills or read a little and watch the news. Best of all we make yogurt.

It’s so easy to relax when that THING is not around. I can watch the animals in the yard or bark at bikes.

I also get to have all the super snacks from Dads plate. He is so generous.

Soon it’s time for Judge Judy and that tells me it’s dinner time.

I hope the Bro stays on the Dracula duty for some time.

Blessing#2555-One Man and His Dog

Precious Peeps its PITS! I’m here to help you over the humpty although I’m in need of a heave again myself.

See my Dad is working nights which is very disruptive to my sleep pattern.

He has to kip during the day which is no problem for me as I can snooze anytime.

Problem is at night.

Granny will not let me get in bed with her as she says she knows Scooby would go for my jugular. She also fears that if I am left alone in my bedroom I might shred a pillow or duvet and she just can’t handle any additional cleaning!

So bottom line, when Dad leaves at 10:30 I have to go to my crate.

It’s a familiar and cosy space but I prefer a softer spot for slumber.

There! See you are not the only one with problems PITS have them too.

Just be like me and find the silver lining of snuggles as soon as you get the chance. It’s hard to beat sleeping all night and snoozing all day.

Just remember to eat up any chance you get and get your trots in too to help move things right along!

Think what this will do for your beauty.

Be like me resigned to perfection.

Blessing#2554-Circadian Rhythm

I had such a relaxed Monday.

It was heaven.

Started with a good walk to the park with Aunty Denise.

Ma then made scones and mini cupcakes for work but she hadn’t enough mini cupcake cases so with her leftover mix she made a dozen BIG cupcakes for us.

She put coconut in them and made icing and they were so yummy.

Dad ate two or three and generously shared with me and the monster, Ma ate one and gave me a morsel and the Bro had the rest.

He did give us a nibble.

After a fine siesta I got a ride in the car too as we’d run out of soda. Humans definitely need that to keep themselves sweet.

I’ve never tasted it but if it gets me a car ride to Kroger I’m all for it.

Blessing#2553-Funday Monday