The PIT is trying to usurp my position as the primary pup in this palace.
She has taken my place at the lookout.
She has established herself on my seat of power.
This cannot be tolerated as it may give the impression of weakness to my populous.
So I was force to rebound with a full on attack on the veggie chips and chase her off back to the sofa.
I don’t know what has come over the bro that he brought those things home. Part of my manifesto must be to appeal to the vegan element I suppose but I’d take a good old potato LAYS over those things anytime.
Maybe he’s intent on living for ever like that dog on Facebook whose now 140 in human years.
Since there are so many ancients around these days I suppose I need to capture their appeal also. Wonder what I’d look like at that age.
So the Great Gizz thinks he can ship me off to the palace in exchange for a Jack Russell. Dream on Scoobs I’m like Kongs and Nalas I’m here to stay!
Mind you at the Palace they probably have indoor exercise rooms for their pups to use when it’s pouring.
I hate rain and it was constant yesterday. It makes me feel so cold. Dogs in the UK are used to it I hear. Take Stella she’s my Granny’s school pal Linda’s girl. When it’s wet she watches the vet on TV.
The Gizz says that when it’s raining Granny always wears her old stinky waxed cotton coat to go out and its got treats in the pocket so I should chin up and walk on.
Thanks but no thanks I’m a girl made for paradise where it rains when your fast asleep and where the sun always shines even when it’s setting.
Just when I was feeling happy that these mid term elections were over I got this horrible sinking feeling that this signals the start of something worse. The gloves are off in the fight for 2024. Add to this the start of the new season of TheCrown and I could feel downright gloomy.
Fear not dear devotees I have a plan in place. I sent out a few fliers and began canvassing among my local community and it has been unanimously agreed that I should run for President.
It’s been a long time since a bearded wonder held the position and none of them come close to me in that regard.
My mission will be to ensure equality for all intelligent life on this planet.
I will fund this by reunification of the United States with the United Kingdom. The money saved on export and import tax will be enough to feed everyone for the next millennium.
In addition to being Prime Minister I will also take over the position of King and buy stock in Netflix.
The price is very good at present since the new series of the Crown is rater lack luster but they’ll now be forced to make season seven so I should have good capital gain.
I’ll sell the fine art of the reunified countries to Elon since he’d buy anything for the sake of humanity. Come to think of it he’d probably also take the crown jewels for a few trillion which should wipe him totally out of business.
As my running mate I will take Beth the Queens rescue whom I quite fancy.
This will show I’m open to diversify of sorts and quite sympathetic to the fact the ex monarchs will need a nice kennel. They can stay in the palace and I’ll ship them a Pitty Princess in exchange.
Beth and I will take the White House to show how modest we really are.
Long long long ago when Granny was about my age she went to the Windsor Cinema on the Donegall Road in Belfast one Saturday afternoon with great Auntie Carol to see a movie.
It was a Disney movie but it scared the bejebers out of both gals because it had a barmy banshee.
Recently in our Facebook feed we’ve been getting a promotional about a new movie featuring, you guessed it, banshees. Do you think “the algorithm” knows Granny went to see Darby or do you think it’s just a coincidence?
What I hear you ask is a Banshee? I confess I had the same question myself. Well I’ve been told within Irish folklore it is the harbinger of death!
On foggy mornings like the ones we had last week you could just imagine it creeping around and jumping out on you.
Looks a bit like the Gizz all old and ugly and grey if you ask me.
He’s no good at howling though that’s my forte maybe I’ll give Granny a little free fright next time we have a pea souper.