Author: boomingbanter

Today I’m reflecting on the benefits of eating breakfasts as I ponder whether to dive in or not! If I don’t do it when I’m given it these days it’s pulled from me before my niece is released to common quarters.

Ma used to eat my breakfast everyday when she was going to real work. Now as she has constant access to food at her hobby lobby she eats it only if she’s hungry.

That’s like me. I eat only when I’m in the mood. I just nibble throughout the day. I know that sound self righteous but it’s just the way I’m made. I’m not a gobbler!

The tike though eats everything that’s put in front of her with tremendous speed.

As you may not believe the rapidity with which she can down her brekkie here is a record that is not playing on fast forward.

https://videopress.com/v/BFTkK6rt?resizeToParent=true&preloadContent=metadata

I’m planning to enter her into competition!

Now here is the irony in this matter. Over the past week I gained more weight than she did. Those treats that Dad and me sneak must be laden with lard as for Ma’s scones they must be made of lead!

Suffice to say Ma is back to porridge.

Blessing # 1088-Regimes

Ma is working this afternoon and tomorrow so that always means an early lunch.

The niece thinks she can handle the spice without problem so she’s sniffing around the Sambal Oelek on the salad.

I keep my distance from that stuff it would strip the lining of your stomach.

Ma loves it though says it gives her a kick like coffee without the jitters.

She can keep it. I’ll wait patiently till she goes and nibble the niece until then.

Dad can’t handle her when the bro and Ma are out as she’s a nutter and torments us with chasing and barking.

Suits me just fine that she’s in solitary in her crate as I get cookies on the quiet from my Dad and they’re super sweet not a spice in sight!

Blessing#1087-Sugar Daddy

I am going to let my Ma’s communication with the bro speak for itself concerning the behavior of my niece.

Roll of drums………. and then she ate the jalapeño pork scratching!

Blessing # 1086-Text Records

Ma drove off into the clear blue yonder saying she’d had enough of the pair of us.

While the tike may be sweet when asleep she is a Tiger when she’s been fed and watered and walked.

This morning she went to her bedroom, brought down a toy and proceeded to shred it.

Dad was screaming so loud Ma could hear him in the bathroom.

She’d had enough. She threw the tike in her crate cleaned out the innards of the animal she demolished and promptly huffed off leaving me with Dad.

The bro will need to work every hour God sends to keep that one in squeakies.

She’ll go through a train load in no time.

Blessing #1085-Locomotion

The tike is currently resembling a pin cushion.

In addition to the piercing I inflicted she has finished all her shots and is now pricked in all limbs at least thrice.

I was not permitted to go to the vets with her but on her next trip in two weeks to get her microchip I’m going too as it’s my annual physical time. That should be pandemonium. Brace yourself for September 16.

In the meantime here she is with her Dad looking suitably sweet despite her predicament.

In this shot (bad pun again) you can see well why I’m optimistic she may fly off for good sometime soon.

While waiting for this I tended her wounds as only a saint might do. I trust the Pope is reading Saint Scooby sounds so spectacular!

Blessing #1084-Shotdone

Ma says you can tell a star the minute you meet them.

That’s why she knew for sure I’d be one when she saw me almost two years ago.

I may have been skinny but I was beautiful even outside the limelight!

The tike is competition for me especially when it comes to ears. She’d knock Dumbo off his pedestal.

A few night ago Ma says she witness a new star being born.

Her hero on TV is Lester Holt the prime time anchor with NBC and till now now one not even the handsome Craig Melvin could give him a run for his money.

That is until this handsome dude appeared on Monday covering the latest floods in New Orleans.

He’s the one to put your bet on for the future. Watch him.

Blessing #1083-Predictions

Ma and me had a lie in till eight this morning.

As soon as we got up we heard the tike talking. She was scraping the door of the bros bedroom.

We entered in spite of his sign. He’d taken off leaving her to her own devices

Ma was apoplectic with anger once more but could do nothing else than take care of her.

In spite of our progress and pawshakes in recent days, when we went for our walk she got in my face so much I had another go at her.

Yet another scratch on her face!

She redeemed herself on the return by pulling out a raw hide bone from the pantry. Ma had left the door ajar when she went in to get her things to make scones.

Another battle then ensued over the bone.

By now Ma had had enough.

She got each of us a busy bone. They are not meant for puppies but she gave the tike one anyway under close supervision.

I have been scolded sufficiently now but the whole scene was rewarding when you think I got to nosh that whole thing in peace.

Blessing #1082-Busy Bones

I’m frazzled and can only imagine how the ancient parents must feel.

The tike is terrorizing us all.

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Just look at this record of this morning’s marauding.

So guess what the bro does? He buys her more toys. Says they’re EDUCATIONAL!

Give me strength. I can write no more I need rest.

When you have had the time to watch the video I will accept messages of condolences or gifts if you prefer.

https://videopress.com/v/GJB9JdN0?resizeToParent=true&preloadContent=metadata

Blessing # 1081-Playfullniece

Last night I was subjected to torture.

On an empty stomach I had to endure the smell of Barbecue and Beer surrounding my parents when they returned from that party.

They had a great time and met some local celebrity called Brutus but not a morsel from the smoker or the brewer was I given.

Had to sleep in the starved state which is extremely difficult.

Hence have needed an early nap today before the mother goes to work.

Truth be told she need one herself.

Maybe by dinner time she’ll trust my tummy to handle a crust.

Blessing #1080-Fasts and Feasts

I’m down in the dumps. My tummy was playing tricks again this morning so Ma has declared war on any food other than ADULT DOG DRY DOG FOOD.

Not a grain of puppy food or treats are to pass my lips. Dad has been suitably warned.

Add to this that I’m being left all alone as Ma and Pa are going out to a big neighborhood party called an Octoberfest where people drink home brewed beer and eat sausages.

It’s hardly fair.

There is nothing for it but sleep and dream of large amounts of meat and chews.

Blessing #1079-Fantasy Food