Wagging Tail – 36

We did our usual weekly family weigh in this morning and the face of the mother said it all. In spite of walking religiously she was closely approaching the point of no return on the scale. The place she said she’d never surpass again was within half a pound’s reach! I’ve told her she’s been having too many chocolate chip cookies, chips, ice-cream and of course the demon WINE! Will she listen? Might as well talk to the wall!

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I dropped a pound which didn’t surprise me one bit being the fine physical specimen that I am. It may also be due to dehydration as she walked me into the ground yesterday and it was roasting. My tongue was touching my ankles!

She is immediately implementing intense remedial therapy as the pool will open in two weeks and she dare not expose the bod in its current condition. Bad enough that it’s white as the driven snow it will also be impossible to squeeze into any bathing cossy!

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First up she hit the mint. Started harvesting it by the bushel load and stuffing it into teapots. She even tried to get me to eat some. I can assure you all that grass tastes much better.

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Once she’d brewed for a while the potion was transferred to a big jug full of ice. She couldn’t persuade anyone else to try it so she’s drunk it nearly all herself  at least her kidneys are getting a work out.

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Then she set to chopping all sorts of greens that contain mostly water and that no one else in the house will eat. Dad feigns indigestion at the sight of cucumbers and the bro categorically refuses raw green anything unless it is dripping in ranch dressing which somewhat defeats the purpose.

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After boiling a load of eggs she finally hit the dressing. Bottles were being emptied quicker than you could say spinach. Anything that had a dreg in it was dumped into a big almost empty mayo bottle. The primary ingredient was apple cider vinegar. The very smell of it would strip paint. On top of this went enough chili and garlic paste to eliminate the need for social distancing. All this was then decanted into something that had a touch of real salad dressing in it and warnings were issued to all household members not to mistake it or they’d suffer. Trust me one sniff of that and you’d run!

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The burn your way to beauty was liberally dispensed onto her greens and eggs and she wolfed it down. I left the room till it was over. Certainly won’t be begging for any of that.

Blessing # 700 – Fighting Fit

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