Greetings my passionate Pitty Peeps. I know you’ve been missing me and now I need your help as I am in the deepest of deep dung.
See this morning started out great. Granny’s back is a good deal better so we all got to go out with Auntie Denise for a big walk to the park!
The horsy halter technique is working so well at keeping me in check Granny can hold me with a finger.
She was feeling great as her osmanthus is blooming and the aroma is heavenly.
I behaved like a saint even when I met other dogs who wanted to get up close and personal.
Granny was all smiles and so proud. That should be a warning to all of you as you know Pitty proverbs say « pride comes before a fall ».
Fortunately she didn’t take a tumble. It’s worse.
When we left Denise and just as we passed the last house before home I hit on some material that had been dragged from a ditch.
Granny wasn’t too fussed until the wind blew the smell her way.
Well let me tell you it was delicious. Putrefying perfection! Like something that had died and been rotting for months.
She started screaming said it was unspeakably bad and that I had to spit it out immediately.
Of course I resisted strongly even when she tried to choke me. So she went right into my mouth and yanked it out.
That was just the start of the trouble. She then had to bag it up so I couldn’t retrieve it and she nearly passed out such was the power of the perfume
As soon as we came inside I dove into the water bowl as it was hot as hades. Meanwhile Granny is screaming « Scooby don’t you touch that water » and snatched it away from me. She only ever thinks about « her baby boy »
Next a process of intense sterilization ensues. The bowl is taken to the laundry room and she starts washing her paws and the bowl first with soap and then with bleach and then more soap and then more bleach but she couldn’t get rid of the smell.
By now she is running late for church so she hauls me upstairs to Dad who is snoring and screams at him « your dog is going to be sick » and slams the door.
I understand that she had to wash her hands another half dozen times and rub them with a half bottle of gel sanitizer to get rid of the stink.
Of course when she came home she felt a bit sorry for being so horrible to me since I’m still just a Pretty Pitty Puppy so she gave me some more water after of course the Gizz got his.
To say I now have the breath of a deceased dragon is an underestimation so she hit on an idea. Feed me mint.
So she drags me out to her garden and says “eat”.
Get real Granny!
Not only is this green as grass it smells like something a Pekingese might try but not a Pitty like me.
She pulls a bit and brings it inside to try to trick me that it’s a treat.
Nothing doing for me Granny but guess what old Gizzy he’s game to try. He’s half Poddle you know and such an old goody two shoes. Would do anything to get in Granny’s good book.
So please dear Peeps can you petition the almighty to forgive me and to restore my haleine to its usual kibble qualities as quickly as is Pitty Possible. If you’re not religious just remind Granny God loves me no matter what.