Author: boomingbanter

Precious PITALICIOUS Peeps it is time I took a stand on the injustices and inequalities I am facing.

That Granny of mine takes hundreds of pics at the beck and call of that piece of poop that is the Grey Gizz “Just to get the lighting right”

Yet when I ask for a capture she snaps shots where I look like an eyeless wonder.

Or worse still a trophy carpet thrown in front of the fire like a skinned piece of wild life.

Well I’ve had it.

I’m mounting an insurrection.

It time to put an end to this bird brain.

Blessing#1649-Revolt

I’m running late on the banter this morning because my presidential personal assistant aka Ma decided she’d type up the message I dictated earlier while ARETHA is having her first 5000 mile service.

It’s sort of like going to the vets except at the Kia dealers they have a very luxurious waiting area where you get free hot drinks and snacks while you can relax and smell that new car aroma.

I’m a bit mad she didn’t take me as I could have made contact with the dealers who might have helped my campaign but she said I’d need a service dog collar to get in.

Anyway that’s not what I want to share with you. I’m thinking of ways to spread the word about my wisdom.

I think cousin LG can play a role.

See since she was just a little pup she’s been a worker.

Now that she has grown to her majestic GREAT DANISH delightful dimensions she will be hard to miss on the trail.

Just imagine how impressed you’re be if she walked up to you and handed out my manifesto.

The biscuits I think I’ll reserve for my energy usage.

I’ll need them for that March to Iowa

In the meantime I’ll continue to pose for pics. Don’t you think the lighting is just perfect in this one. Great for a front page.

Blessing#1648-Marketing Material

Precious peeps it’s PITS and I’m dedicating this post to my pen pal cousin Libby Grace who lives on a farm.

She is very tall and very smart and very very sweet.

See her Dad, our uncle Jim taught her a really important duty. She saunters down the lane to the road and gets his paper every morning.

Now the lady who delivers the papers has taken to putting a great big dog bone in each one.

Well Miss LG is keeping an eye on her super slim figure so she doesn’t eat them. Instead, she drops them with the paper at uncle Jim’s feet.

Auntie Marsha has been collecting them and brought us a big bag full to the tearoom to see if we like them.

Now is the Pope a Catholic? Of course we like them!

Nearly took the hand of my Granny when she presented them to the ugly grey Gizz and me last night.

They are quite hard and big so it took me at least thirty seconds to eat it.

Man it was good.

Keep up the good work girlfriend I’ll kiss you when I see you.

PS Gizz wants to know if you’ll go campaigning with him!

Blessing#1647-Freebees

Conscious of the importance of appearance in the run for the White House I went for some fine tuning this week at Top-Knots.

The drive was absolutely beautiful as it was so sunny that day and we could see all the signs of spring.

Cranes were back feeding in the Olentangy River. We saw a whole flock and googled to find that the collective name is a Sedge.

Gave Mom some noble ideas!!!!

Since I was in such good shape I was shampooed, snipped and styled in an hour but Ma was working so I got to visit with the other customers having a groom.

They all have such good humans so I campaigned a bit to get their votes. I definitely can’t miss a change to promote my greatness.

Oh and of course it helps when I get to feature on Facebook too.

Blessing#1646-Eye Contact

The bold Saint Patrick is meant to turn the sunny side up. Well there is a gale going on outside since two o’clock. Maybe the sun will blow in later. Wee bit blustery right now!

Our hearts were warmed and cheered though by good wishes from Auntie Marsha and family.

Wouldn’t you know that only she can find a card for the occasion that mentions tea.

Ma is serving a free hot mint brew (because that’s what he’d have had to drink) and shamrock shortbread all day today to celebrate the good man.

He has a stellar reputation all around the world not just in the Emerald Isle.

Maybe I’ll drive out the snakes in the USA as part of my presidential mission. There are quite a few vipers around. Should go down well with the voters.

Blessing#1645-Charming

We had 17 deer in the yard yesterday morning. I think they are mounting a campaign to support by candidature.

I couldn’t get them all in one frame so you’ll have to trust me on the numbers.

Much as I appreciate the support I am perplexed as to why they love our place so much. Maybe it’s the quality of the grass based on the amount of nitrogen a certain. Princess puts into it each day.

At least one of those Doe’s is expecting. I bet it’s Memorial’s Mom come back to inspect the ranch to make sure it’s in good shape for her next delivery!

I think a deer would make a very good symbol for my party much better than this donkeys and elephants nonsense.

Blessing#1644-Easy Emblem

Part of my manifesto will include immediately putting an end to this stupid clock change.

It gets me all mixed up and more moody than a meerkat.

It’s all right for humans they can take stimulants to give them the kick they need to get going but for us canines it’s horrible.

We are expected to devour our dinner during daylight and then rise in the middle of the night and eat our brekkie in the dark.

Revolution is required. I’m reversing the rules to pre pilgrim times and we are all going to stay put. One Time for Our Times!

Blessing#1643-Slogan Sorted

I’m thinking, make that snoozing, about strategy.

Seems everyone else who’s planning to run is heading to Iowa.

Looks like a sunny sort of place but Des Moines is a strange name.

Of course being a polyglot I know it means « from the monks » so it must be a quiet spot too. Most unsuitable for noisy Princesses!

I’m pretty fast at walking as Auntie Denise will tell you so I recon I can make it in less than two weeks by paw.

I can’t starve for that long so I’ll have to find food along the way.

Better map out a Paneras path. I enjoy a good bit of baguette and a croissant for brekkie and I know, based on the bro’s prior employment with them that they trash really good stuff.

Maybe I’ll suck up to him and see if he fancy’s a roadtrip as my campaign manger. The way he drives we could do that in nine hours no bother so we could leave Saturday and be back for work on Monday.

We can leave trouble at home to help Mom « faire du pain au cuisine »

Mais oui! Tres productive cette petite sieste!!!!

Blessing #1642-Francophilia

We got a little bit of a surprise yesterday morning. It had snowed overnight. I stuck my nose out and declared it festive.

Ma I said « let’s pretend it’s Christmas again ». I was thinking maybe a fresh bone would be on the menu when Ma quickly replied « Your some pup Scoob that will be perfect for the Oscar Party »

She started digging in the freezer and my hopes rose.

Alas no. She pulled out some boring sliced Turkey breast saved from that gigantic bird she got on sale some time ago.

No bones alas but surely even the bro couldn’t eat that much stuffing. Everyone knows it’s not the Turkey that’s tasty it’s all the things that go with it.

Oh and what a party it was! An Oscar win for An Irish Goodbye. Made in Northern Ireland and starting James Martin the first ever Oscar winner with Down’s Syndrome!

Blessing#1641-Trimmings

Precious Peeps it’s PITS publishing on perfecting perfection!

Rummage sale season started this weekend. What I hear you cry has this to do with perfection? Read on dear devotees.

See rummage sales drives Granny into a frenzy of happiness.

There is nothing she loves more than digging through other peoples junk except me of course.

She is usually on the hunt for tea pots but they’d all been snatched up at this particular event. Peeps are putting them to other uses these days.

Nonetheless, if she finds something tea related it still gives her good vibrations.

So it was that she stubbled on a book that brought joy to her heart and is suitable for the education of any Princess.

Such discoveries she says are destiny I’m definitely in agreement.

Blessing#1640-Fine Tuning