Author: boomingbanter

So Jaws thinks Santa is coming down her chimney with a swanky sweater. Hohoho! Dream on sunshine.

She’s naughty at least ninety percent of the time. That sweater would be tinsel in seconds.

I can hear you all now. She’s just a baby. You’re too hard on her. She’s so cute.

Well let me tell you I’m no grinch but she’s a demon, causes me to have to get up at the streak of dawn just so I can eat my brekkie in peace.

I need to find some carol singers and send her out with them to freeze to death.

Oh how I long for days when it was a one dog show in this kennel.

Blessing#1555-Christmas Past

Precious Peeps it’s PITS.

Did you know that yesterday was, in addition to the celebration of the birth of the most marvelous human on the planet, maybe the most wonderful human ever born, Ugly Sweater Day?

Of course Granny and Auntie Paula pulled all the stops out and put on their most glitzy gear.

There’s some competition or other within the chamber of trade in their town to see who wore the ugliest.

I think Granny might just win.

It got me thinking though that I’d certainly like one of those colorful combos from Santa so I had a little google.

There are thousands of them and you can get this one on Chewy!

Just saying since I know the fat one in red reads what I write.

Love y’all especially you bearded wonder!

Blessing#1554-Hints

On some rare occasions you have to put your differences aside and issue a joint statement.

So shall it be this morning as we wish our dear Dad and Bro a very happy birthday.

We love him because he is the fun in our lives always getting us involved and making us laugh.

It’s true that only one of us, that would be his only child, is permitted to sleep under his duvet but in all other regards he is equitable.

Always takes both of us in the car for days out.

Always buys us both toys even if some last longer than others!

Always gets on the carpet to play with us.

That is why we love him to the moon and back and will make him much MEAT to eat when he returns from his twelve hour shift this evening.

Blessing#1553-Birthday Bashes

Netflix has a lot to answer for and I’m not just talking about H&M.

On Sunday Ma discovered the GBBS is on so ever since we have been subjected to the trials of the tent.

Inspired by the creativity of the competitors Ma decided she was going to experiment herself on allergen free cookies. No gluten no eggs no milk.

So from a concoction of corn starch, sugar, margarine and orange juice she tried to make something like a shortbread.

The structureless souls were no sooner in the oven than they spread like soup all over the baking sheet.

She proceeded to bake them/it anyway and we tasted the finished product which apart from having no form was OK.

She then proceeded to smash the stuff into crumbs.

What she will bind them together with remains to be determined most likely dark chocolate which rules them out for me but one way or another they are destined for the cookie jar.

This vintage one is on sale at the tearoom for $15 should you be local and interested!!!

Antiques roadshow anyone?

Blessing#1552-Disastrous Dough

Hi Peeps PITS PERFECT publishing today.

This morning, since it’s threatening rain, we did two loops of the short trot circuit with Auntie Denise. True we go round in circles but the logic is if it poured we could get home fast.

When we got back Grandpa was as always waiting for us with our cookies. He gives us a selection each morning. Granny shouts about this. She says we don’t need this sugar but he doesn’t listen.

Both me and the stinking old Gizz take our assigned places.

The festering fur ball gets one first then me then him then me and on and on until we run out.

That’s when I say my thank you’s and hit the Kong.

I just love my Grandpa. Wonder why he doesn’t like kisses.

Blessing#1551-Predictability

See Facebook it gets on my nerves.

Ma always has her nose stuck in it all the time and when Jaws and I get into a tussle she’s always barging at us to shut up.

I blame it on all these photos of people looking sweet as pie and their pets too.

Get real I say.

Show the real side of life. Play it as it is and don’t pose.

On second thoughts maybe you don’t want to look at Ma’s mad face it is too ugly. As for Dad well um………

Blessing #1550-Surrealism

Have you heard the saying “A Load of Balony”? Well this is no joke that’s what I get every morning.

I love it. If it’s not added to my kibble I will not eat at all.

So Ma has given up. As soon as she has the coffee on she chops up a slice for me and I yum yum it up.

A few crunchies may slip down as well but most of those I leave for Jaws.

Don’t tell her anything about why I’m always smiling!

Blessing#1549-Secret Sausage

In view of my campaign I have been paying particular attention to the news and concentrating on current concerns.

I understand that inflation is the hottest topic among the general population.

From my trots it appears the subject has carried over to Christmas Decorations.

The size of your Santa says a lot about your purchasing power.

Or maybe about your lung capacity.

While inflated these tokens of festivities look fine.

When they are not they resemble landfill so I’ll be banning them when I’m elected.

Blessing#1548-Back to Baubles

PITS perfect publishing peeps.

Princessing is a pretty pugnacious problem per M that’s for Meg not MEGA that’s me!

H that’s for HAIRY not Haz and I were subjected to all three episodes last evening.

Man it was hyper boring. Nothing juicy at all. Revenue Ma was bored.

Apart from sleeping we had to do something so we had a good fight.

We have a suggestion though. That clothing giant needs to sue the Sussex’s for deformation of character or brand infringement.

Funds raised could be sent to support people who really have something to complain about.

Blessing#1547-Opportunists

Jaws and I were left home last night to take care of Dad as the Bro and Mom.

The two gallivanters went to see Andrea Bocelli at Nationwide Arena in Columbus.

They said they had to go early to get parking.

Truth be told they went to stuff their faces and they didn’t even bring back a crumb.

By all accounts the concert was brilliant with performances by Andrea’s son and his little daughter too. Opera in the first half and Christmasy covers in the second.

The house was packed TWENTY THOUSAND people!!!! Mom and the Bro were at high altitude, one row from the top but had a brilliant view.

Andrea did six encores which meant people didn’t leave the concert till 10:45.

Thanks though to amazing traffic control out of the arena area they got home by 11:30.

Blessing#1546-Orchestration