Author: boomingbanter

Dad is apoplectic with anger.

Mega may as well pack her Pretty Pitty purse because her days are numbered.

This epic started yesterday morning when Auntie Denise gave Ma a lovely lavender plant.

Before Ma went to work we potted it in a big container on the back window step where it will get lots of sun.

Mega was in on the work and loved the smell. She even decided she could do gardening herself and brought a tiny pot with a mint slip inside and hid it under the table.

So that’s not a big deal she’d argue she was being helpful but that’s not it!

See while Ma was away Jaws decided that she had to get out and do more work. So she ate a huge hole in the screen door.

It’s massive. The entire screen will need to be replaced.

I could get through it easily and for sure even if fatso sticks she’ll force her way through.

So everyone will need to make sure the gate is close. Or maybe I’ll open it and solve all our problems!!!!!

Blessing#1344-Shortcuts

Greetings my beautiful public it’s your Precious Princess Pitty publishing today.

After a delightful birthday I have had a tough week.

Tricky tummy troubles and now this heat and our air conditioner has stopped working!!

It’s like hades. The Gizz says I need to get used to it because that’s place is in my future.

It’s thirsty work keeping cool under these circumstances as we have no options but to cool through the tongue.

Mine is extremely long but I’ll spare you the photos of that.

Instead here is the pretty Pitty panting poses.

Aren’t I just darling.

So glad I don’t wear fur like some people not so far from me.

He has no sense and no class.

Fur is just so passé.

Blessing#1343-Hairshirts

Pouring out there which is not a problem for us but when we hear the thunder Ma backs off from walking.

It’s was therefore a quick in and out for the urgent needs only.

One good thing with having the demonic presence is that you get to burn off some steam if you can’t get in your steps.

It drives Dad crazy but it makes me laugh. See Dad blamed jaws for all the trouble when secretly I know that I start it.

The deer must have been stomping around too this morning because we found one of our bearded irises had bit the dust.

We stuck it in with the floc and it looks lovely and gives perfect height for playing hide and seek with Mega.

Although not ideal all in all not a bad start to the weekend. If we’d gone for our usual walk rather than roaming round our yard we’d not have found that gift from Bambi!

Blessing#1342-Showers & Flowers

It’s like Groundhog Day here at the ranch except this time it’s me who’s poorly.

On the stroke of five this morning I threw up right between the two pillows in our bed.

The noise woke Ma who of course was not thrilled but had to rise and jump into action as I can’t strip beds.

It must be those bones. I’m probably having a delayed reaction as I only ate a morsel whereas big mouth had a hefty helping.

Good news is it doesn’t seem to have any long term detrimental effects as she was playing as usual last night.

If she happens to have passed on overnight I’ll be seeking immediate medical attention.

I feel like a Medici or a Borgia. Didn’t they have food testers?

Wonder is Dad trying to do us in???????

Blessing#1341-Plots

We got a very early start today all down to Jaws.

The bro bought us both big peanut butter bones yesterday and she noshed hers down in minutes and then ate half of mine too. Well there were consequences.

She threw up all over the bros bed at about four thirty this morning so he has been rattling about shouting and cleaning and doing laundry and waking good people up who need their sleep.

We had planned to get up at six as Ma has a group of ladies meeting at the tearoom at 10:30 but we didn’t need this head start.

So we lay in bed a while and thought again about Buffalo. We just can’t get this senseless act out of our mind.

Something must be done to stop a repetition.

As one newscaster put it….

We said a prayer for Mayor Brown who is leading so graciously through this terrible time.

We want to do more than pray though. That’s why we are putting pen to paper. We are facing the fact that in this country racial hatred exist and it hurts horribly.

Blessing#1340-Vocalizing

Yesterday we had the whole family at home for the niece’s big day. The Queen is less indulged!

First off we went out partying with all our doggie friends PJ, Eddie and Walter. I must give it to her she has an extensive male following in our neighborhood. I’m not sure what they see in her as she could eat any, make that all, of them for breakfast.

When we came home we played hide and seek for a while and then she went back to slumber with the bro.

While they snuggled Ma and I baked up a storm then we had a siesta. We sampled you see as we went along. It’s hard work and highly soporific!

We took another trot in the late afternoon sun and left a few posts. Jaws ate a desiccated frog.

For dinner we had steak and asparagus from Auntie Marsha’s garden and then we broke into the nieces treats.

She gave me some, perhaps her stomach was a little upset!

Regardless, I have turned over a new leaf since she stretched this olive branch and peace reigns.

Blessing#1339-Sharing

Greetings my Passionate Public! It’s your very own Pitty Princess and it’s a very special day.

My first birthday.

I know y’all must be thinking “how could the world have existed without the Prettiest Pitty?” well it did.

Being a diva I thought it wasn’t too soon to issue a short autobiography.

I have evolved from a shrimp to a shining star. That was not difficult as it was always in my genes. It helped that like all wise women I got my shots and focused on wellness.

I learned early to accessorize to accentuate my allure. My preference is particularly pink. I’m considering launching a line!

I’m a great sport and have developed multiple skills and muscular tone.

My palate has become extremely refined.

In addition to kibble I have perfected the culinary arts. A recipe book is in the making.

I’m particularly fond of the unusual and exotic.

Take last night as an example when I feasted on Granny’s espadrilles and my Dad’s boxers.

They were almost equally rank but I think Dad wins.

I have weathered all the seasons.

Most of all I’ve overcome the obstacle of the obnoxious Grey Gizzard. I have him eating out of my hand.

Aren’t y’all so happy for me.

I’m not sharing a single thing with him from my birthday stash unless he wants my flowers.

They may be toxic!!!!

To be continued………..

Blessing#1338-Chapter1

I’m writing this from the comfort of my nice warm bed. I’m comforting Mom because she is sad.

See ten lovely humans went out yesterday and never got back home to their bed last night.

They went grocery shopping like many humans do on a Saturday.

They probably worked all week in schools and factories and hospitals and offices and needed to get food in for their families maybe even for their four legged kids like me.

A man killed them. He is definitely not right in the mind but he’s not the only problem.

There is so much hatred in this country and yet there is so much goodness and opportunity too.

What can we do?

Every time something horrible like this happens everyone say “no more” but then they forget until it happens again.

I guess for right now the only thing is to get up and get on.

Blessing#1337-Stand Up

Some of you ask how I come up with my daily banter. Well it’s all down to trust. See he who made us gives us our daily message as well as our daily bread.

Take this morning.

Ma was super exhausted last night as she had her first wedding at the tearoom and had an inordinate amount of dishes to do. Add to this that she has another big do today and they’re coming early so she had to get the floors done and the tables set before she came home.

So, this morning, anticipating a repeat performance tonight, she says to me “Scooby we better rise at dawn and get those baby plants watered before I leave”

The poor things didn’t get hydration last night. They were only put in the ground on Monday and it hasn’t rained a drop since. Sure enough we were out there just after six.

We have to plod round the yard with our watering cans which doesn’t bother me a bit but it’s gets the human’s shoes covered in mown hay!

Lest she tramps it inside and incurs Dad’s wrath she has to wash them.

That’s when we got our bit of banter!

The shoes have a name!

See it! Written on the soul. Grasshoppers!

Now I ask you!

Blessing#1336- A GIVEN

Yesterday was Ma and Dad’s wedding anniversary. 36 years. The bro’s card was very to the point.

It was however very much just another day.

Ma got another box of Ferrero and then had a hot date with me and the demonic and Denise at 7:45 am.

We had a little wild life safari in the lovely warm weather.

Saw lots of bunnies. Denise got a great pic of one.

We also got up close and personal with some deer in our little wood by the park. That was the extent of the excitement!

Ma then went to work and came home late and was in a bad mood because someone ( that would be the bro and niece) had knocked over laundry detergent in the garage and didn’t clean it up. “I just don’t know what you’d all do if I slipped and fell in that mess”

She softened somewhat when she found a pizza in the fridge and then ate that and the chocs Dad got her while watching a CNN documentary on the Pope. Scintillating stuff!

Well maybe not so much.

Blessing#1335-Comfort