The PIT is trying to usurp my position as the primary pup in this palace.
She has taken my place at the lookout.
She has established herself on my seat of power.
This cannot be tolerated as it may give the impression of weakness to my populous.
So I was force to rebound with a full on attack on the veggie chips and chase her off back to the sofa.
I don’t know what has come over the bro that he brought those things home. Part of my manifesto must be to appeal to the vegan element I suppose but I’d take a good old potato LAYS over those things anytime.
Maybe he’s intent on living for ever like that dog on Facebook whose now 140 in human years.
Since there are so many ancients around these days I suppose I need to capture their appeal also. Wonder what I’d look like at that age.
So the Great Gizz thinks he can ship me off to the palace in exchange for a Jack Russell. Dream on Scoobs I’m like Kongs and Nalas I’m here to stay!
Mind you at the Palace they probably have indoor exercise rooms for their pups to use when it’s pouring.
I hate rain and it was constant yesterday. It makes me feel so cold. Dogs in the UK are used to it I hear. Take Stella she’s my Granny’s school pal Linda’s girl. When it’s wet she watches the vet on TV.
The Gizz says that when it’s raining Granny always wears her old stinky waxed cotton coat to go out and its got treats in the pocket so I should chin up and walk on.
Thanks but no thanks I’m a girl made for paradise where it rains when your fast asleep and where the sun always shines even when it’s setting.
Just when I was feeling happy that these mid term elections were over I got this horrible sinking feeling that this signals the start of something worse. The gloves are off in the fight for 2024. Add to this the start of the new season of TheCrown and I could feel downright gloomy.
Fear not dear devotees I have a plan in place. I sent out a few fliers and began canvassing among my local community and it has been unanimously agreed that I should run for President.
It’s been a long time since a bearded wonder held the position and none of them come close to me in that regard.
My mission will be to ensure equality for all intelligent life on this planet.
I will fund this by reunification of the United States with the United Kingdom. The money saved on export and import tax will be enough to feed everyone for the next millennium.
In addition to being Prime Minister I will also take over the position of King and buy stock in Netflix.
The price is very good at present since the new series of the Crown is rater lack luster but they’ll now be forced to make season seven so I should have good capital gain.
I’ll sell the fine art of the reunified countries to Elon since he’d buy anything for the sake of humanity. Come to think of it he’d probably also take the crown jewels for a few trillion which should wipe him totally out of business.
As my running mate I will take Beth the Queens rescue whom I quite fancy.
This will show I’m open to diversify of sorts and quite sympathetic to the fact the ex monarchs will need a nice kennel. They can stay in the palace and I’ll ship them a Pitty Princess in exchange.
Beth and I will take the White House to show how modest we really are.
This autumn has been magnificent. Beautiful sunrises and warm sunny days for the most part.
Knowing what is coming can sometimes be a benefit too.
It’s been great for me and Mega because Ma and the morning marchers go further these days “because this warm weather won’t last much longer”
It also means our trusty little snapdragons are still in full bloom all around the yard.
The patch just outside the garage door is particularly robust perhaps because a certain Princess sprays it with nitrogen most mornings!
This testament to tropical temperatures will also inevitably be nipped in the bud in the days ahead.
So while the going is good we decided to harvest another bouquet and remind ourselves that all the sunshine we have had brought us already weeks closer to spring.
When we were out for our trot on Monday my mate Remington’s Mom remarked “you’re getting a little shaggy Scooby”.
That was it. As soon as we got back Ma gets the bro, who was in the middle of breakfasting, to hold me and grabs the scissors.
I didn’t even bother snarling because I know when she gets something into her head it’s going to get done. I escaped under the table though when she went for my paws.
The Princess was perplexed. Thought we’d brought her a puppy or some new fangled snack when she saw the output. That is the one advantage of being a Pit you don’t grow curls.
Ma chopped all around my eyes and the top of my head right down to my collar which left quite a pile.
She left me with a cool dude beard. It’s sorta like a reverse mullet.
So happy was she with her efforts that she decided she’d go for the chop too so off she went to Great Clips.
It looks like she told them to give her a radical Pixie as she’s now got less hair than the Pitty Princess.
We’ll both have much better perspective on life for a few weeks at least since we’ll definitely be able to see where we’re going!
Long long long ago when Granny was about my age she went to the Windsor Cinema on the Donegall Road in Belfast one Saturday afternoon with great Auntie Carol to see a movie.
It was a Disney movie but it scared the bejebers out of both gals because it had a barmy banshee.
Recently in our Facebook feed we’ve been getting a promotional about a new movie featuring, you guessed it, banshees. Do you think “the algorithm” knows Granny went to see Darby or do you think it’s just a coincidence?
What I hear you ask is a Banshee? I confess I had the same question myself. Well I’ve been told within Irish folklore it is the harbinger of death!
On foggy mornings like the ones we had last week you could just imagine it creeping around and jumping out on you.
Looks a bit like the Gizz all old and ugly and grey if you ask me.
He’s no good at howling though that’s my forte maybe I’ll give Granny a little free fright next time we have a pea souper.
This is a very appropriate number for my post today because I have been rescued.
Auntie Marsha responded to my calls for help and sent a KONG for Jaws.
She said it was definitely indestructible and had been road tested on Libby her Great Dane.
I am beyond ecstatic to report that after thirty six hours of near on constant attack and on close inspection Kong is still King.
Not a smidgen of substance has been removed from his body. The house is filled with a delightful rasping that signals peace on earth and good will to all men.
I am in heaven but giving it a few more days before putting Scottie anywhere near Mega just in case.
Yesterday was Dads birthday. We got him a big box of tricks.
It contained chest rub that he uses as an alternate body lotion, enough cough drops to keep him going to Christmas when Santa will bring more, a stock of salonpas for his sore back, a pair of readers, a big word finder in case he runs out of books, some soft socks (what is a birthday without them?) and le crème de la crème two weekly AM PM pill organizers since one would not suffice.
Since all that was seriously useful stuff we splurged on funny cards.
Can you guess who gave him which one?
Poor soul made us all dinner. The whole house still smells divine this morning of Indian spices from his lemon rice and tandoori chicken.
Keep up the good work Dad and never get older as we love you even though we drive you nuts!
