Author: boomingbanter

The « Thing » is learning new tricks on her own now.

She has worked out that in order to go for a trot you need a leash.

So she has started to jump up on the side board and bring the control cord over to Ma.

She knows there is little use in giving it to Dad and the bro is usually sleeping when she needs out in the morning so he’s hopeless too.

So poor Ma and me get lumbered with it. We are asking that y’all speak to the Pope in the matter of our canonization!

If Ma would only allow me to take her out on my own I could make a miracle.

I’d sneak her down to State Route 315. It’s only half a mile away and then I’d let go of her collar and bingo she’d be transformed into a heavenly being.

I’m working hard on my technique. Don’t say a word to the bro.

Blessing#1334-Unleashed Potential

We communicate in many ways.

For us canines body language is a big thing.

Ma has started to interpret for Dad what we are saying.

There is the do you want to have some fun pose.

There is the watch out I’m about to jump you pose.

This often gives rise to a bit of a tango.

Don’t you think a dancing with the stars for dogs would go down well.

I’d be the sarcastic judge.

I’d pair the niece with gigantic Pitty and sit back and smile as they do each other in.

Is that too much like dog fighting?

Blessing#1333-Posturing

Ma says that years and years and years ago there use to be a TV add about the benefits of eggs. The punch line was “Go to Work on an Egg“.

Well my loyal followers I am all set.

Ma opened the fridge this morning and pulled out my favorite treat that little yellow piece of pleasure that she saves for me from scone day.

I was in the living room but as soon as she opens the little pot she stores it in I was right into the kitchen.

She cuts it into tiny piece for me which makes me a little impatient.

I could just pop that piece of yumminess and be done but she has to toss it with my kibble to make me eat more.

Once I’ve picked through it I leave the rest for the walking dustbin.

She needs no enticement to nosh.

If she had an egg she might go into orbit.

Now maybe I should reflect on that possibility. Ovum Orbital Obnoxious Opportunity!

Blessing#1332-Fueled Up

It’s got terribly quiet at our place around 10:30.

Ma was cracking on at a fierce pace. Up early, stripped the bed, put the whites on to wash, took me and monster Miss for a two miler, came home put the whites in the drier and the colors in the washing machine, dumped the monster with the bro, grabbed me and Dad and off we went grocery shopping.

She’d just finished putting the food in the fridge and was in the garage arranging the staple store when poof the power went out.

The plan was to start baking immediately but we had no oven.

We also had no drier.

Nor did we have the television and worst of all we the oxygen machine had stopped purring too.

Fortunately the father can go without for six hours now and we have his reserve cylinders should this outage last a while.

It’s hard to understand why it happened though as the sun is back in business and there isn’t even a breeze let alone a storm.

The only thing for it is a little slumber party!!!

Sometimes I really like divine interventions.

Blessing#1331-Unscheduled Rest

I trust y’all have been as good to your Mom this morning as I’ve been.

Of course I had to handle all the kissy kissy wake up duties as the bro and niece are sleeping still. The bro did the shopping though!

I gave Ma a shake and a lick early and showed her that the sun was shining

and that it was time to get up and go.

She needed extra time to get started as she had to open her cards and trim her flowers. Fortunately she held off on getting into the chocs and wine.

As always I’d sent her a card although this one I was forced to send bore a striking resemblance to jaws.

Of course, even though she’s MY MOM, the demonic presence also had to get in on the deal and send her a card too! Such a little stinker.

Did you know that today is not just Mothers Day?

It’s also

……… and

………and

Next year if Mega is still around, which of course I sincerely hope she not, I’m making sure she’s informed in advance that she needs to send a card to Ma to celebrate that it’s also …..

If she hasn’t already been exterminated that should take care of it nicely.

Blessing#1330-Joint Celebration

Greeting Passionate Peeps it’s your very own Princess publishing today. This is my Lion King pose. After all my name is NALA! It’s has perfect potential for my poster campaign.

This soggy weather though is definitely not for me. The grey gizzard finds it acceptable but he is part poodle. He’s such a sycophantic old sucker!

Being a royal diva I have to find alternate indoor means to keep in shape.

I do steps. Up and down up and down the stairs.

Each time I reach my Dads bedroom door I smack it. It’s having a minor impact on the woodwork but Granny has resigned herself to replacement and Grandpa doesn’t go up there so he’s oblivious.

Once I’ve done that about ten times I get into the circuit.

This involves chasing the Gizz.

We go from dining room to kitchen to living to dining room. Occasionally we have a little wrestle to stretch and tone.

All this I highly recommend for muscle definition and maintenance of waist and abs and of course as a means to stay as perfectly Pitty pretty as me.

Blessing#1329-Workouts

Sometimes, make that usually, if I stare at my Ma in a certain way for long enough she gives into my whims.

Yesterday I persuaded her that I had to go to work. She’d do anything for me!

It was Goldilocks weather again and there was no rain in the forecast till the evening so she said let’s go!

Bummer though they got it wrong. It started raining AGAIN at two thirty so no walk on the way home.

She’d not brought a coat but she was wearing something remarkably like a choke chain. Wonder is she taking styling tips from Jaws?

It’s still raining and it’s going to continue till Sunday. We are planning to build an ark. We’re only taking one dog though. That stinking piece of Pitty can sink because I haven’t taught her how to swim!

Blessing#1328-Precipitation

Yesterday was that funny day when Star War’s fans go crazy.

Savannah on the TODAY a show is one of them.

She was going on about it all morning even when she interviewed Bill Gates.

He has a new book out and is as smart as any extraterrestrial.

I know all about microorganisms because I live with one.

She’s a pest so scary but not smart.

Clings to the bro like a virus and bears a sticking resemblance to Yoda.

Maybe if I could get her a role in the next epic I’d get rid of her for good.

Blessing#1327- Alien

By now you all know that Dad is my biggest fan and the major purveyor of my treats. He’s also usually smart as he hates Mega as much as me!

Last night though he made a grave error that got Ma mad as mad can be.

See she and Auntie Paula had been having their first annual Spring Fling to celebrate the anniversaries for their businesses opening.

There was a buffet supper (for heaven sake please say the new arrangements with the bookshelves look good)……

a fashion show with beautiful models and all clothes from Paula’s Posh Picks ……….

and a Derby hat contest and…..

as a finale when all this was coming to a close a thunderstorm to end all thunderstorms.

It lasted for the entire 45 minutes that Ma was driving home and was still going when she got here.

To say her nerves were a little shaky when she arrived would be accurate.

I announced her arrival and as usual I greeted her at the door that goes from the garage to the kitchen.

Dad swiftly joined me and uttered the what could have been historic last words “this poor dog needs to pee”

She went ballistic.

“Do you want me dead? Can you not see that storm? Look at that $¥#%*!& lightening! I just drove through that for the past hour and now you want me to stand in it while the dog pees!”

I retreated and did some yoga.

Blessing#1326-Deep Breathing

Yesterday the bro was off work and was given the onerous responsibility of taking care of his kid. I watched from on high as they lay on the sofa. I’ll spare you the sight of that scene!

Ma was busy doing other things. She has given up her booth at the antique mall so she can focus all her attention on me and the tearoom.

Ma had moved everything out last week but her car is only big enough to hold a small shelf so her pal Karen, who is an experienced dealer and used to handling large items of furniture, stepped in with her huge red truck to move Ma’s two book cases. They are now in place serving as room dividers at the tearoom. Gives place for two more customers when things get busy. Smart move Ma! You keep up the good work and get me more snacks!

Such was the tension back at the ranch between me and Mega that it gave rise to hostilities between the bro and my Dad too.

The bro was forced to seek peace keeping solutions lest China and India declare war. He went to Walmart and resorted to buying new Nyla bones.

The theory was that I’d have one jaws would have another and there’d be one in reserve.

Forget it. The thing ate a Nyla.

She then struck her incisors into mine. I hoped it might kill her.

Regretfully she pooped perfectly just now.

Maybe the reserve will do her in.

Blessing#1325-Arms Agreements