Booming Banter

I know that some people might think I exaggerate or even make things up. This is far from the case. Every word I utter is true. It’s just that my life is like a cartoon since that monster moved into our place.

Last night Ma returned very late as she’d had a bridal shower party at the tearoom and had to wash a room full of dishes, clean floors and reset everything before she left.

So late was she that the bro took me and his little Princess out for a walk and made the dinner leaving a sink full of pots to welcome Ma home.

Dad had been busy all day too watching Wimbledon so there was tension in the air when he announced to the ravenous Ma upon her arrival that he was going for a quick shower now. Her eyes did that glaring thing that speaks volumes.

She drank some fizz and chilled.

Eventually around 7:30 they all sat down for dinner. The vacuum cleaner and I took our places by their chairs.

Food eaten the bro snuck off to the basement for some gaming, Dad cleared the table and Ma washed the pots and began loading the dish washer.

That’s when it happened.

As is her want Mega stuck her head into the open dishwasher hoping for a lick. Only this time she got stuck. Her license tag lodged into the bottom rack.

She started tugging and before Ma, who was at the other side of the machine, could release her she pulled the whole completely full bottom rack out plates and all and dragged it clanking round the kitchen island.

She and her appendage eventually came to a halt when they hit the carpet under the kitchen table.

Dad grabbed her collar and told me to get away as Ma screamed for the brother and disentangled the beast.

With all of this there was only one breakage which is a miracle. It was a champagne glass from the night before that only fits on the bottom rack.

The bro was charged with cleaning the glass from the floor while Ma slide the rack back into the washer.

Not a further word was said and the bro knew the only thing to do was take his protégé and go back downstairs with her to FIFA.

I just knew there would be consequences of watching that Jaws movie.

Wonder could I interest her in an oxygen tank. We have a few around!

Blessing#1392-Modeling the Movies

Greetings Passionate Peeps it’s your very own PIT PAL here.

Today I want to introduce you to my local fan club. Of course this is but a snippet of the global audience that pursues me with pure passion.

The photo was taken by Auntie Liz yesterday morning at the park so unfortunately she isn’t in the shot.

To the far left is PJ. He is Liz’s eldest and is a basically solid good guy. He pretends to have few feeling for me but deep down I know his heart is yearning for my love.

Beside PJ is his bro Eddie who is younger and more vocal in his admiration for myself. He barks as soon as he sees me round the corner to his house ever morning and then proceeds to drag his poor Mom off her feet in his pursuit of my attentions

The two bite snack to the right of Eddie is BEAR their cousin who is visiting from Cincinnati. He is the size of a Nyla Bone and is a cross between a Yorkie and a Chihuahua. Of course like all others that meet me he is smitten. Even though he is reputed to be a little tetchy at times he is sweet as sugar around me.

Next up is my current love interest Remington. He is tall and handsome and devoted to me. We kiss passionately when we meet and sneak a snog at regular intervals throughout our time together.

His Mom Meghan is behind him. The Grey Gizz is glaring at her in hope she’ll shoot him a chicken treat which she carries to control Remington when he lunges to greet me each morning. Isn’t the Gizz just sickening sitting there like a great Goody Two Shoes.

Finally there is my own adorable self being held by Granny. The grimace on her face speaks for my strength as I almost dislocate her shoulder in my attempt to romp in the hay with Remi.

There you are fab fans you now know that you have competition. If you wish to secure my hand send treats or diamonds if you prefer!!!

Blessing#1391-Rivals

Yesterday was international chocolate day. Ma didn’t touch a drop. That’s because she had none in the house! If she’d had a bar it would be gone because when she starts she can’t stop.

She loves the stuff especially flakes.

I’m not allowed the Magical material as it’s toxic for me. There’s a thing in it that I can’t metabolize called theobromine.

For the chemistry needs among you this is what the molecule looks like.

If your dog eats chocolate they will become floppy (don’t panic I’m just doing a demo) so get them to the vet quickly. The amount they eat is the critical thing of course.

It’s always a great mystery why things like this happen that some critters get gifted with abilities to break things down and others don’t.

Philosophers please reflect and comment as I am puzzling.

Now if Ma were to concentrate on eating Milkybars and supporting the sales of the company who pay her pension I might be in business as they only have cocoa butter and no cocoa powder!

She’s not that sweet though but I still love her.

Blessing#1390-Chemistry

I’m frustrated. Sitting here with the sun splitting the skies watching the news.

Ma is glued to the sofa watching and waiting to hear from Boris. He’s the UK Prime Minister and even though he’s a conservative and she a Labour Party lover she has a soft spot for Boris. Me too he takes his dog jogging!

He’s like a living breathing caricature and always seemed to get things done but he’s been caught telling too many “porkie pies” recently.

If you don’t speak Cockney rhyming slang you’ll need to look that up!

Regardless. I wish he’d hurry up and get on his bike and speak or I just might burst.

Oh wait here he comes TODAY missed it we caught it during the commercial break on CNN!! That’s disappointing!!

Blessing#1389-Plonkers

Just after we got up yesterday this gigantic storm rolled in.

Fortunately the PIT was still underground with her PaPa.

We thought for a moment we might have to join them as it got really dark and the sky took that greenish tone that spells danger.

It passed though and we were able to get the gobbler up and fed and out before the next line of thunder arrived.

We found that our largest snapdragon plant had been completely blown over. Snapped right at the root it was.

What to do?

Well we brought it in and then we made a great discovery.

Snapdragons smell so good.

We’d never used them as a cut flower before so hadn’t had the occasion to sniff them.

Lesson learned and a great big bunch of beauty on the table. Pink as a Pitty!

Blessing#1388-Bouquet

We had a very lovely lazy day yesterday just lying around doing nothing much.

Of course we had our walk in the morning before it got hot but when we came back home we just snoozed and watched Ma read.

We don’t fight on the patio as there isn’t much room to run around.

So we slump like a lump of lard and bake in the sun and give her head some peace.

Jaws likes to be on the chairs. She flips and flops around from one to the other. That’s OK with me when we’re outside.

When we have to move indoors that’s another story. No one and I mean no one is getting my throne.

That’s carved in stone!

Has Scooby written all over it.

Blessing#1387-Seating

Greeting my precious public it’s your one and only PIT.

Don’t I look just perfect in this pic?!

Yesterday was hot hot hot just like me.

We could only have a short afternoon trot and then returned to the ranch for fun.

Grandpa was watching tennis so we decided to have a game. The way I play is different from the Grey Gizz. He brings the ball back to Granny. I chew it. So the games are short.

We then moved on to hunt the treat.

I’m so smart I find them easily.

The Gizz can’t work it out at all.

Granny got clever and filled the little bones with ice cubes to cool us down.

I snagged them all.

I got so fast she got fed up filling them.

So I decided to eat the holders instead.

That got Granny mad. Doesn’t take much to do that so I looked contrite and gave her my famous smile.

She still put the games away and we had to get back to my favorite sport. Wrestling.

I let the Gizz pin me since he’d lost out on all the other games. I’m such a good sport!!!!!

Blessing#1486-LOVE All

Ma had such a hankering for the beach yesterday that we all had to watch Jaws.

She’d seen it before of course but had forgotten how much time they spent on the boat! She’s not into fishing!

Funny how your mind tricks you when your longing for something like sand and sea.

Regardless that music freaked me out.

You try watching that with a Pit breathing down your neck.

She does bear such a merciless resemblance to that fish.

As the man who got gobbled up said so prophetically « an eating machine »

Maybe I’ll make a movie. Can you see it? Scooby Spielberg!!

Blessing#1385-Star Potentiel

We had a dilemma yesterday. We really needed rain as everything is burning up but Columbus was having there first big Red White and Boom fireworks show since 2019.

Add to this the fact that Uncle Martin (Auntie Paula’s husband) was organizing this huge country and western festival with thousands coming and the last thing you want are soggy spectators.

So we prayed please God don’t let it rain till everything is over and he delivered.

God is so GOOD and so SMART!

When we got up this morning he’d made it rain a lot overnight when all the activities were over.

Our gauge of how much it has rained are the spots by the mat on the porch as they dry up last. Some people have measuring gauges but Mom knows my nose knows.

I inspected everything and declared it all good.

Just as God himself did in his garden of Eden.

Bet at that place it rained every night so Adam or more likely Eve didn’t have to water a drop.

Blessing#1384-Precision

It is not Groundhog Day but for some reason the photos on take one did not load.

Can you imagine that half the year is already past. Time flies but sometimes you have to wait more than half a lifetime to find a piece of your puzzle.

When my Mom was young and got grumpy her Mom would recite two lines to her.

« Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry alone »

My Mom never knew where those lines came from and never took the time to find out.

This morning though cousin Krishna, inspired by my need for SOLITUDE, and escape from the plague of the PIT sent this to me via Mom

We quickly investigated the poet and learned how she came about writing this poem that so influenced my Granny.

Reading the whole thing I’ve decided maybe it’s better to have a little company. Perhaps with a lovely lady!

Blessing#1383-Timing