Author: boomingbanter

As you are aware I’m a gifted individual.

An intellectual who keeps the books for the business.

A brave guard of the homestead

A kind and comforting nurse to ANYONE in need !

One thing I refuse to do though is dust

See I told you I’m an smart. Be smart and follow me!!!!

Blessing#1588-Multitasker

Cousin Krishna sends us jokes every day to get me in a good mood. It helps me deal with trouble that currently is slumbering sweetly in another room.

This morning the cartoon gave me a smile and got me all nostalgic for a good road trip.

We always play the game « spot the states » the person who gets the furthest away wins. If we’re doing a really long journey then we count the number of states we see. Ma and the bro got well into the thirties on one trip but they were going to the Deep South.

At this time of year it’s usually too cold for me to go with Ma to work as I have to sit in the car while she’s in the tearoom.

Maybe if it’s a good day next Monday when she is off I’ll see if she’d take us all out.

Now all I need to do is study up on where to go. That’s part of the fun! Oh and how to get TROUBLE into the Trunk! She ain’t sharing the back seat of my Aretha!

Blessing#1587-Map Quests

Passionate Pitty Peeps big thanks for all your get well wishes.

I am almost back to Perfection.

The tummy tickles were still a trifle troubling throughout the day but by evening I was calming down.

The Gizz was attentive to my affliction. Funny how he can be good when I’m bad.

I almost exterminated him and the humans with some seriously smelly toots even my Dad said I was gassing like an elephant.

Sure clears your head as well as the room. Gives you so much peace to just chew!

Blessing#1586-Stink Bombs

Passionate Peeps I am a Poorly Pitty.

You know I have the constitution of an ox and a lead strong stomach but yesterday I felt miserable like a very old lady.

Half way to the park I puked up all my brekkie. Three big piles of it that poor old Granny had to pick up of the road. Auntie Denise said it could have been worse it could have been on the carpet.

We proceeded undeterred but within a few minutes I had the runs and it was all bloody.

Granny was racking her brain as to what I might have eaten. Speculation ranged from socks to soap to sweeties to soda since these are scattered systematically all around my Dads bedroom. Apart from this the Gizz and me ate all the same things.

It was only after much winding back of the memory’s tape that the light dawned. Granny had had sardines in hot sauce for lunch and when she opened the tin she spilled some of the sauce on the kitchen floor. Of course I’d sprung to her rescue and quickly cleaned it up. Bingo!

That’s me off the Tabasco for life. Maybe sardines too since they are pretty stinky!

Please pray I will be able to eat enough today to catch up on yesterday’s imbalance as I may fade away to nothing.

Blessing#1585-Aversions

Yesterday we all had a good old lazy day.

Ma stuck the dinner in the slow cooker so there wasn’t any cooking going on. She didn’t even peel the spuds in they went skin and all.

No laundry, no cleaning, no baking no nothing except Church and two trots.

So the bro thought we should all watch something funny together and introduced us to Family Guy. It’s one of his favs.

The best episode we saw was when Brian the dog went to India to meet his true love Padma from the call center. He’d been in touch with her often by phone to solve his IT issues now he was determined to marry her.

Perfect capture of Indian culture and city life. I feel a trip coming on!

Even Dad laughed that’s how good it was.

Check it out if you haven’t seen it.

Blessing#1584-Animation

The things that disrupt my sleep are unbelievable. I have the patience of a saint listening to the ramblings of my Ma and I am not nearly adequately appreciated!

Last night as she was slugging back her fizzy water around 2:00am Ma was struck by the word QUAFF!

That’s a great word Scoob she said why don’t we use it more often? Like who cares Ma. On and on and she went. Wonder is it related to COIF as in coifed from the French coiffure?

She should have got up and googled it there and then because for the next hour she was speculating how the two words may be linked.

Turns out she wasn’t the first to ask the question and no it has nothing to do with hairdos. It’s all about excess from the low German.

Blessing#1583-Just Guzzle

Are you sad about Lisa Marie?

I didn’t know that much about her but Mom feels she was like a distant family member.

She remembers her cute baby pics

Her home at Graceland that the bro and Ma visited before I arrived

Her Dads death

Her four marriages and her four kids

She was born with so much. Heck she even had her own airplane yet she always had tragedy in her life.

She needed a snuggle buddy like me

Poor soul, hope heaven is happy for her.

Blessing#1582-Resting in Peace

We ventured out shortly before eight yesterday morning. It was raining but nothing major. We hadn’t turned the corner when we heard thunder. It rolled in real quick. So I, like Jaws, was forced to perform close to my own home pitch which I detest.

When we got back Mega mouth refused the treats Dad had prepared for us and slunk off under the biggest piece of furniture she could find.

Now I have to admit the storm was pretty bad by this stage and she took to shaking.

I had to come to her rescue with big love.

See you all think I’m a nasty old grumpy but I have a heart of gold.

I’ll be waiting for your fan mail to show your appreciation of my courage and composure not to mention my compassion under these circumstances.

Blessing#1581-Lord Protector

We are at odds with the Casey Jones who’s currently driving the freight train that goes through our town at 3:15am.

For the past few days he’s been tooting his horn like there is no tomorrow.

He might be just as charming as Alan Hale but right now in our eyes he’s a demon.

His toot goes on so long that not only does it wake a dog from his slumbers it also stirs his humans.

This then results in their need to arise and pee, drink water, toss and turn and finally sleep once more.

I am grateful for my own ability to hold on. Ma just can’t do what I can do!! It’s her age!!!

Kindly desist Casey or a disturbing the peace order will be issued

Blessing#1580-Strong Sphincter

My secretary had to take a few days to calm down before issuing this statement.

We are big fans of Anderson Cooper. He seems to be a decent sort. He got the interview with H for sixty minutes and we are going to accept that he had to do it and move on. He didn’t pretend to be shocked or put on any funny faces like Oprah. He just asked questions. Anderson you’re OK man!

As for H we have turned the page he is a done deal.

Macbeth and his Lady having nothing on him!

Blessing#1579-Finale