Author: boomingbanter

This morning I was so happy. My Auntie Denise is back from California.

Of course the teacup had to come along on our walk to meet her.

We walked the paws of the niece and went all the way to the park. I was exceptionally well behaved. I ignored her completely and focused on Denise.

We stopped to talk to Betty who knows a lot about rescues and that’s when I lost it.

Betty was all over the teacup and I got jealous. Went for the neck and got scolded again.

Betty said it’s the terrier in me.

I said I’m still adjusting and it’s not fair at all that someone gets to eat my breakfast and go walking with MY MUM and MY AUNTIE and sleep on MY SOFA!

I was most contrite when I got home and lay snuggled with the teacup under the table till Ma left for work.

Blessing # 1058 – Repentance

Ma scolded me this morning as I was asserting my position of authority over my niece.

I went for her jugular but that’s what we need to do to make sure she understands who is top dog in this kennel. Well top dog among the canines. Ma is the head honcho!

So after nearly eating her I let her eat my breakfast and then we went out walking with Ma. The little tike did Good walked over a mile and did all her jobs too.

I licked her up nicely when we got home until she hid under the table where Dad was getting his treats ready.

That’s my place and little or not I’m the only one getting cookies. So I had another go at her and she snuck off upstairs to commune with the bro who was still in bed.

Blessing#1057– Hierarchies

This morning a whole slew of my Ma’s pals had birthdays. She sends them all a little Facebook message that eats into my walk time even though all see does is copy paste from one to another.

I just stand and wait and stare out the window and dream of my own birthday next month.

The funny thing is that two of these pals are Indian gentlemen some thirty years apart in age. They’ve never met. One is living in California and the other in South India.

Two others were pastors wives and their husbands had been pastors in the same church some twenty miles from where we live but twenty years apart in the time of their ministry.

What are the chances of these things happening and that they are all friends of Mums.

Ma said it must be an alignment of the stars and an auspicious day.

She left for work super early as she had a full house at midday. That shortened my walk even further.

While she’s delighted to see the parking lot completely full I have informed her I’ll be expecting a special treat on my trot this evening otherwise I’ll eat Nala and it won’t be such a happy day after all.

Blessing #1076– Cake and Candles

My niece is the size of a teacup but she can put away a bowl of food bigger than herself before I can nip her or say « that’s mine »

She cleans it all up too and leaves the bowl shining without the addition of any tempting morsels.

My fear is she’ll fall into the water bowl and drown.

When she’s done she licks her lips and looks at all of us as if she’s asking for more.

Give her her dues she is not fussy. If she goes on like this though you can be sure she will be a monster.

Blessing #1075– Vacuum

Poor Ma has had a wicked 24hours.

She was working at the Antique Mall yesterday and all was going great until a catastrophe occurred just before closing.

Someone move a glass plate and it knocked against some others. Nothing broke but when Ma went to stabilize the plate it slipped again. She got the plate but in the process three very expensive crystal glasses bit the dust.

She called the dealer and described what had happened and he was very gracious. Said that as long as no one was hurt that was the main thing. She still feels bad and sad.

If that wasn’t bad enough she got a message this morning to say there was a stain on the ceiling in the apartment above the tearoom. There had been a huge downpour yesterday and as you know it never rains but it pours when it comes to bad luck.

She is very down in the dumps so I am giving her intensive care now. I’m the best for that.

Let’s hope tomorrow brings some sunshine.

Blessing #1074-TLC

At the request of Ma, who got miffed this morning reading about yet another famous person’s gratitude for the gift of authenticity, I’m going to give you my opinion on the much used term « authentic ».

It’s all over social media and has overtaken empowerment as the must use buzz word.

The funny thing is that on TV when you see these people talking about « being their authentic self and finding their truth » you can tell they are lying through their veneered teeth.

I can tell you that these ornaments are not dogs.

They are China Pugs. However, they are authentic antiques.

What’s wrong with just being yourself. If your an antique be an antique.

I don’t pretend to be nice all the time. If anyone gets in my way I’ll show them my canines. It doesn’t happen often but deep within I know when to assert myself.

I’m not constantly yapping because I don’t need to.

All these authentic truth warriors are like fake bones. They may be filled with collagen injections but their marrow is missing.

There that’s what I think so next time someone feigns shock at a statement that you know has been rehearsed a million times tell them to speak with their higher authority therapist about their TRUTH. That would be their dog in case they need to know!

Blessing #1073-Yourself

I’m excessively glad I’m male and don’t have to fuss much about dressing up. I’m just so handsome « as is ».

That poor little gal has been adorned with a pink collar that’s almost as big as she is.

The bro bought it for her along with a pink leash. Don’t let on but he looks real funny out walking with her him being macho and all that.

I took a good sniff around her this morning just to make sure that it wasn’t cutting off the supply of oxygen to her brain.

She’s OK. Still not too keen on playing much before midday.

Takes after her father in that regard. Not a bit like Ma and me. No bows on us!

Blessing #1072-Unburdened

You never know what is going to happen next in our house.

Last night the bro landed in out of the blue and without a word of warning with a new addition to the family. He’s adopted a tiny puppy. Her name is Nala.

Now I’m not the jealous type which is just as well as my Ma and Pa were loving all over that little critter.

They also made it very clear that they are it’s grandparents and that the bro has full responsibility for its care and nurture. That means getting the leash and collar, food, license, potty training, vaccines, snip and picking up poop. We started with my food and her poop.

All this has made me feel very wise and mature. I’m now officially THE MAN FROM UNCLE.

Blessing #1071-Neices

There are all sorts of reminders of my predecessors around our home. Photos, old dog tags, even our Dibley’s favorite ball is preserved.

Ma says the rainbow warriors are looking down at us from heaven.

Sometimes you get a great blast from the past.

Auntie Patricia in Switzerland must have been going through her old photo albums because she sent us pics of Darcy and Bingley when they were young men like me in Connecticut.

Dad looks a bit younger then too.

Some things never change though. He’s still the main man for the old treats.

Not sure what they’re having but I’ll take it!

Blessing #1070– Forkfeeding

I was furious yesterday. A gecko called Ed was allowed to have lunch at OUR Tearoom.

Ma won’t let me come anywhere near the place any more as “it’s against the rules”.

Why the heck was a gecko there then? She’s even patting it for heavens sake!

OK I confess he has a metallic look that doesn’t pose a risk to life and limb.

He is sort of out this world and makes people happy.

So do dogs!

Just look at this puppy and her baby. Like other well known four paws she bears a close resemblance to her human.

Almost has as good a smile as myself. I only look like me!

This canine is a bit creepy though. That’s way to close to homo sapiens for my liking.

What is it about this dog? The eyes or the mouth or is it an app on the internet that gave that “I should wear clothes look”

Blessing #1069-Lipgloss