Booming Banter

At the request of Ma, who got miffed this morning reading about yet another famous person’s gratitude for the gift of authenticity, I’m going to give you my opinion on the much used term « authentic ».

It’s all over social media and has overtaken empowerment as the must use buzz word.

The funny thing is that on TV when you see these people talking about « being their authentic self and finding their truth » you can tell they are lying through their veneered teeth.

I can tell you that these ornaments are not dogs.

They are China Pugs. However, they are authentic antiques.

What’s wrong with just being yourself. If your an antique be an antique.

I don’t pretend to be nice all the time. If anyone gets in my way I’ll show them my canines. It doesn’t happen often but deep within I know when to assert myself.

I’m not constantly yapping because I don’t need to.

All these authentic truth warriors are like fake bones. They may be filled with collagen injections but their marrow is missing.

There that’s what I think so next time someone feigns shock at a statement that you know has been rehearsed a million times tell them to speak with their higher authority therapist about their TRUTH. That would be their dog in case they need to know!

Blessing #1073-Yourself

I’m excessively glad I’m male and don’t have to fuss much about dressing up. I’m just so handsome « as is ».

That poor little gal has been adorned with a pink collar that’s almost as big as she is.

The bro bought it for her along with a pink leash. Don’t let on but he looks real funny out walking with her him being macho and all that.

I took a good sniff around her this morning just to make sure that it wasn’t cutting off the supply of oxygen to her brain.

She’s OK. Still not too keen on playing much before midday.

Takes after her father in that regard. Not a bit like Ma and me. No bows on us!

Blessing #1072-Unburdened

You never know what is going to happen next in our house.

Last night the bro landed in out of the blue and without a word of warning with a new addition to the family. He’s adopted a tiny puppy. Her name is Nala.

Now I’m not the jealous type which is just as well as my Ma and Pa were loving all over that little critter.

They also made it very clear that they are it’s grandparents and that the bro has full responsibility for its care and nurture. That means getting the leash and collar, food, license, potty training, vaccines, snip and picking up poop. We started with my food and her poop.

All this has made me feel very wise and mature. I’m now officially THE MAN FROM UNCLE.

Blessing #1071-Neices

There are all sorts of reminders of my predecessors around our home. Photos, old dog tags, even our Dibley’s favorite ball is preserved.

Ma says the rainbow warriors are looking down at us from heaven.

Sometimes you get a great blast from the past.

Auntie Patricia in Switzerland must have been going through her old photo albums because she sent us pics of Darcy and Bingley when they were young men like me in Connecticut.

Dad looks a bit younger then too.

Some things never change though. He’s still the main man for the old treats.

Not sure what they’re having but I’ll take it!

Blessing #1070– Forkfeeding

I was furious yesterday. A gecko called Ed was allowed to have lunch at OUR Tearoom.

Ma won’t let me come anywhere near the place any more as “it’s against the rules”.

Why the heck was a gecko there then? She’s even patting it for heavens sake!

OK I confess he has a metallic look that doesn’t pose a risk to life and limb.

He is sort of out this world and makes people happy.

So do dogs!

Just look at this puppy and her baby. Like other well known four paws she bears a close resemblance to her human.

Almost has as good a smile as myself. I only look like me!

This canine is a bit creepy though. That’s way to close to homo sapiens for my liking.

What is it about this dog? The eyes or the mouth or is it an app on the internet that gave that “I should wear clothes look”

Blessing #1069-Lipgloss

My Ma tells me every night when I snuggle up beside her that I’m the best somnifere in the whole world. Much better than any weighted blanket.

No matter what she wakes up worrying about one hug from me and a paw in the hand and she’s back in the land of nod.

Yesterday was her day off so we decided to have a late afternoon siesta. I was ready for it.

I slept good she just googled as it was past the witching hour if 2:00 pm.

I love a wee snooze anytime as you know. You have to get ready for the next adventure and charge the batteries but the best time is that cat (how dare they) nap in the afternoon when really you should be up working.

There really should be a canine adjective for this business.

Blessing #1068-Comforter

Ma has lost her battle with the deer herd.

In theory her prime line of defense for her flower beds is coffee grounds.

She went out just now armed with two boxes that Dad has been collecting over the past week.

Who did she meet face to face when she opened the garage door with their noses deep in the honeysuckle but the two fawns. Midday madness.

They took one look at her and took off before I could be called to put my nose in.

The rascals are growing like weeds all thanks to our fine nourishment.

Secretly though I know she was happy to see them. She’d seen a dead one down on the main road a few days ago and was worried it was one of ours.

We’ll keep going with the grounds though as it’s decent fertilizer if an absolutely useless deer deterrent. The Gnome is more effective!

Blessing # 1067– Noon Nosh

My secretary is a tad busy today so I’m dictating my epistle while she has her coffee.

We had a big storm in the middle of the night so the sleep was not ideal. Snuggles were super though but she’ll need a few extra milligrams of caffeine to see her through!

As we’ve only be up for half an hour we are relying on social media to speak for us today.

Auntie Liz inspired us by tagging us with this post which I fully endorse. The sooner I can get out the better.

Auntie Joyce also shared some words of wisdom which we believe are the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Finally we tuned in to Holy Trinity Ballylesson and hit on one of Ma’s favorite hymns.

He really knows what he’s about that wise one. Gave us all we needed for the day!

Blessing #1066-Immortals

You know that saying « be careful what you wish for ».

Well, remember Ma was moaning last week about how slow things were at the Tearoom?

This week I worked hard on my dreams for her and guess what they were answered. She doesn’t want to look another scone in the face for at least 48hours.

She is also sandwiched out!

Her poor paw cut off enough crusts to make a small mountain. That’s only from the cucumber sandwiches too!

Dad will be croutoning for days!

The week ahead looks like another bonanza and she’s starting on Tuesday to boot!

She took comfort though in the verse of the day that popped up this morning.

Shame about the coffee! Don’t they know heavenly beings drink TEA!

Blessing #1065-Cherubs

The temperature in Northern Ireland reached a record high yesterday.

All our family and friends are melting.

It’s unusual there so people are not equipped with air conditions and fans like we have here.

I sympathize. It always takes me a while to get used to the heat each summer. You have to build up panting prowess.

You do adjust eventually though. After a few weeks!!!!

What else can you do but strip to the bare essentials and play in the summertime.

Most important is to get your trot in as soon as possible each morning.

They have the beautiful beaches all around that should be great for the weekend. A good old splash in the sea I hear is hard to beat.

Much deeper and wider than my little lake but as they say « any port in a storm or as this case may be in a swelter »

Week ahead looks a tad more normal. Courage cooking critters.

Blessing #1064-Taking a Dip.