Author: boomingbanter

Remember a few days ago Ma went out shopping. Today I’m going to divulge what she got.

Before I move on I want you to reflect on that word DIVULGE because for me it conjures up dark hidden secrets and is appropriately chosen.

See what happened was on Saturday Mega ate a decoration for dessert immediately following her dinner. She then promptly threw the whole meal back up onto the parents treasured carpet. They’d bought it in Tunisia in 1986 and it had travelled all around the world with them.

The bro was charged with cleaning up his daughters mess which was copious in quantity as that kibble swells like a balloon in the stomach in no time at all. That almost caused a second incident. Enough said!

Ma declared she could survive no longer with Miss I Eat Everything if she wasn’t armed correctly. She needed a steam cleaner.

She took Dad with her the next day to find one and yesterday she and the bro got down to business.

When I saw the size of this new beast and inspected it’s capacity to clean I did a swift U-turn and got off side. There was no way my tail was going to get mangled with that force.

I resurfaced to see what it could do only when all noise had ceased.

Heavens you would not believe what it extracted. Pure unadulterated sludge is the only description I have.

But you should have seen the big smile on Ma’s face. Some gals need diamonds shes happy with dirt!!!

Blessing#1537-Deep Clean

Thanks to my banter Ma learns new things all the time.

Take this morning I said to her “take up thy plume dear scribe and write about the diversity of yesterday”

First we dissected the meat from the remains of the Turkey and made stock with the bones. While that was simmering we delved under the sink to pull out all the dead ends of wax from this year to make memory candles. Finally we sequestered Jaws in her chamber and after lunch we got to baking for the Victorian Christmas before adjourning for a small slumber ourselves.

That’s when it hit me we had a nursery rhyme of a day.

So of course we had to Wiki to find out about the origins of the famous ditty.

It dates from the fourteenth century. Not so surprised about that BUT!

Shock horror. It’s about noble professional being caught in the act of being naughty . Oh dear me!!!

Blessing#1536-Life Lesson

Peeps it’s PITS!

There is so much great pick and play in place at the palace.

The dude who wears those stockings has seriously big feet. I do love a smelly sock to chew on.

If that wasn’t good enough never in my wildest dreams did I imagine so many balls in the one place.

I grabbed one last night and nearly pulled the ball holder over.

So the stinking Scruffy has been put on guard duty.

How I deplore that dog but I’m told the dude who wears those big socks wants us to be nice! He’ll be coming down the chimney soon! Seriously? Won’t he stick?

Blessing#1535-Toytime

Fear not dear reader the pack leader didn’t have another meltdown. I got her up at 6:30!!

She began fine tuning of the decor before church and then she went shopping.

Details of her purchases will be revealed soon. Suffice to say candles were included.

By the time she returned it was napping time and then we had to finalize the tree and trimmings. Hence the delay.

We had lots of memories to share about the decor the bro made when he was a babe and which friend bought which one.

She is feeling much more mellow than yesterday so we are all happy.

Blessing#1534-Cosy

We slept in this morning. Didn’t wake up till 7:15. That’s like a once a year event. Meant everything was a rush and Ma got into a mood because she didn’t get her coffee and me time.

She could get mad about anything that woman. Don’t tell Santa I said that! Just pretend she’s an Angel.

Rattled on that she does everything in this place and gave orders to Dad to dust and make the dinner and to the bro to get that $&@@£¥ tree up.

Truth be told she was fuming because she had to go to the tearoom. It was small business Saturday but she had no bookings because it coincided once again with the biggest game of the season Ohio State versus Michigan that everyone stays home to watch. What the heck!!!

She returned remorseful for being so cross to find butter turkey was cooked and the tree was up.

In addition the bro had decorated the dining room and the fireplace to boot. There’s still a little tidying up to do but he was distracted by the game that Ohio lost spectacularly.

Now I am persuaded his handwork is perfect and Mom agreed that it was wonderful but I predict there may be a little rearranging done.

She’s a sucker for symmetry is Ma.

Blessing#1533-Unwrapped

I was busy all yesterday morning keeping Jaws in check and making sure she didn’t get near the bird.

We watched the big one at The Macy’s Parade while ours was in the oven.

The Radio City Musical Hall girls must eat a lot of it because the way they kick their legs is amazing.

After the singing and dancing we watched the National Dog show. Jaws though she should be on it. Talk about aspirations of grandeur!

When we have holiday dinners we always get out my Granny’s Willow Pattern china. It makes us feel like she and Grandpa are with us.

After a snooze we felt they’d sent us a message via HULU. We found their favorite soap was being shown so we watched a few episodes.

It’s been so long since Ma has seen it she didn’t know many of the characters anymore so we switched to a drama called FIVE DAYS.

Even Dad was glued to this one and we kept saying we’ll watch just one more episode. When it got to 10:45 and the plot was still thickening like Mum’s gravy we decided we better binge on the rest tonight.

So with square eyes and round tummies we adjourned to slumber.

Blessing#1532-Indulgence

I was having a nice relax this morning when Ma said hurry up Scooby we have to get up to get the bird in the oven.

Oh Yummy I’d completely forgotten what day it was even though we’d candles going all over the place last night and the house is coming down with pilgrims and pumpkins.

I love this holiday because I know for sure I’ll be having turkey for the next week.

The bro doesn’t like it that much which means there’s more meat for me. We didn’t have it last year but Ma put the foot down and said never again are we going for anything else!

Maybe when I’m President I’ll make a monthly turkey day. Is that too much? Can you ever have enough?

For right now I need to work up an appetite so I must wake the dragon and get going.

Have a wonderful day!

Blessing#1531-Thankfulness

Ma was on the hunt for a key she’d put away for safe keeping a few years ago. She still can’t find it but she unearthed several other treasures including an old ball of my predecessors.

It’s quite durable. At least that’s the claim so she gave it to us to play with.

Now I’m not into games that involve third parties. I like it to be just Ma and me but since the Princess was persuasive with her nibbles around my neck I gave it a go.

It wasn’t too painful it’s good practice I suppose. You got to appeal to all sorts in the electoral register so I guess spotting the cues for sporting sorts is a lesson to be learned.

Blessing#1530-Playful Peeps

YEOH y’all it PITS!

Did you see the footie yesterday. I was glued to it all afternoon. All those hot male bodies were quite yummy.

I gave the Gizz a little chase round the living room at half time and then settled in for the rest of the game.

So many goals for England I was quite hoarse with all the cheering.

Clean wore me out it did.

I conked out completely like Snow White before nine o’clock.

I’m wide awake now though dreamt some handsome Prince smacked me one while I slept.

Think it was George he’s into the footie big time just like his Dad.

I’m speculating there will be a visit to Qatar in their schedule just in case the England form continues and they make the finals.

Blessing#1329-World Class

I have been reflecting on my manifesto.

To lead this country I must act as a good shepherd.

I’ve pretty much got the herding under control.

Now I must think of incentives to retain the loyalty of the corralled community.

Tax is always a great motivator. I’ll shear them a little less especially those feeding on poorer pasture.

I’ll encourage and incentivize entrepreneurs. Except Elon!!!

Of course there will always be impediments in my path but with clear vision, that Ma will help me achieve and refine, no stone will be left unturned.

Blessing#1528-Flocks