Author: boomingbanter

I find it too hot to eat but it hasn’t stopped the vacuum cleaner or the humans. They’re all still munching away.

This climatic challenge has resulted in one point on which Mega and I have reached agreement.

It’s too hot to fight.

We are just floppy.

We have taken a sofa each.

I can’t even get a good sleep though because it’s too stuffy.

I which I could use scissors.

I’d clip all this hair off and run around stark naked. On that front the thing has an advantage over me.

We could be a lot worse. The poor Franklin County dog shelter along with an awful lot of people have no power.

They put out an appeal for ice last evening and people responded so fast that all the puppies are OK.

Think I’ll have a bowl of that for my brekkie.

Blessing#1367-Slushees

We are having a heat wave. I hear y’all singing along à la Carmen Miranda!

We got our walk in while it was still just warm rather than roasting.

Now we have adjourned to the basement to chill.

Ma got her baking all done Sunday and yesterday so we are watching documentaries about the Royals and having a complete do nothing day.

I’m trying to get a nice nap in on Moms lap but herself wants to play pillow fights.

She hasn’t spent much time down here so is exploring all the things to chew.

It’s one of my favorite spots in our place as in these depths there is no CNN.

I get sick of all the talk about gas and stocks.

Really I’m so glad it’s hot it really is quite cool just hanging out the three of us.

Blessing#1366-Underground

I’m getting closer and closer to getting rid of « It »

Yesterday morning she got herself into another big bit of bother.

It’s one of her summer favorites.

We went out for a walk as usual with PJ and Eddie and it was only when we left them Ma discovered the « thing » had pawed a big hole in her dress.

A nice little soft cotton number it is.

Fortunately it has a little underskirt or she’d have been walking home exposing her nickers.

See « It » has claws like Johnny Scissorhands. She uses them to shred all sorts of material. This though got her into deep trouble.

Ma has warned that any more destruction of material or matter and she’s getting no more attention. The bro will be her sole (soul?) provider.

You’d think butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth. That innocent I thought it was the fashion look and was just helping you Granny. Well she’s no Donatella Ma and me have her well and truly sussed!

Blessing#1365-Stylist

We are a few months away from the annual fair season but we had a practice round for the greased pig competition in our yard last night.

See Ma takes me and jaws out individually for a final performance around eight at night. She has to do it then as she has been know to fall asleep shortly after that witching hour especially if she’s had a busy day at the tearoom.

So it was that Dateline watched she rolled Jaws out first and then came back for me.

As we were going out the gate the « thing » escaped.

Flip what a circus. She was running round in circles like a mini tornado. My dream was that she run into the road and a car would come and make mash of her. No such luck. Round and round and round she went.

So I decided I better catch her and in my haste to help pulled poor Ma off her feet.

She was mortified but uninjured apart from a slight twist to the right wrist.

Back on her pins and after much further running around she managed to grab the monster who is definitely slithery and pig like.

Much scolding then ensued but it was brought to a halt by the return of the bro with snacks.

We needed them. That running around sure gives you a good appetite.

Wonder did any neighbors watch the spectacle!!!

Blessing#1364-Good Sport

Greetings passionate public it’s your very own Princess Perfect publishing today although I have seen better days.

You all know I have a heart of gold but was vexed to read the epistle from the Gizzard yesterday and felt some response was required. No doubt you’d anticipated this with bated breath.

He tries so hard to make a laughing stock out of me because he is truly a green eyed monster so jealous of my beauty and depth.

I am not one to wear my heart on my sleeve. That is only for the faint hearted. I display mine prominently where it belongs on the chest.

Things have now come full circle and I refuse to lie low!

Off with his head I hear you cry. Trust me peeps if he continues nothing will keep him out of the jaws of death.

Soon and very soon he will vanish into thin air.

Blessing#1363- Fighting Fire with Fire

Being a creature of great culture and refinement I am partial to a snippet of Shakespeare now a then.

Hence it was with great irony that I was awakened from my slumbers just now by my Mater musing over the great man’s words.

Cousin Krishna who is also an aficionado of the artist sent this to us overnight.

It shocked me how many of these sayings I could apply to a certain personage who slumbers yet and who is particularly gifted at setting my teeth on edge.

Each day I fear she more closely resembles a shrew. Alas she will not be tamed and invokes in me the desire to fight fire with fire.

As Midsummer Night approaches I so wish she would vanish into thin air.

Alas that may be just a dream. The be all and end all of this is that I am in a pickle and it may take several parts before she is well and truly dead as a door nail.

Blessing#1363-The Bard

Yesterday was best friends day. Ma has had the same one since she was born. That’s my Auntie Carol.

I know who is definitely not mine.

Her latest claim to fame is weather forecasting.

Last night around seven she started staring out the back window.

She got a little anxious with a little yelping noise.

Almost immediately thereafter a huge siren from Mom’s phone went off. It signals tornadoes.

We turned on the news and Dave Mazza our favorite forecaster and all his team were in the studio. That always means things are serious.

Twisters we’re coming our way.

I contemplated whether I should get Ma to put Nala on the patio to be sucked up like that dog in the Wizard of Oz. Would be a great way to get rid of her. She’d land a state or two away with any luck.

After about an hour the warning was lifted for us. Missed my chance to loose her!

This morning though we found out it had struck big in Ohio hitting a major distribution center for our Meijer supermarket chain. All the big semi trucks were tossed around like toys.

Fortunately thanks to all the good work of the forecasters no one was killed. It shows though the power of these storms and how we always must listen to our best friends on TV.

Blessing #1362-Meteorologists

Yesterday we had some friends from Switzerland come to visit. It was the first time we’d had guests inside the house since the beast arrived.

She had to be confined to her quarters as she was jumping all over the poor people.

They could only stay a short while but Mom decided to pull out her best China and serve them tea. She has been influenced greatly by her Majesty and Paddington!

That China hasn’t been out of the cupboard since it was moved from Ireland!! Ma is turning over a new leaf (clever people may get the pun) and starting to use things. She says if they break they break.

I decided since bears can join tea parties so can I.

It was great! Auntie Dolo gave me a mini cupcake. I like her a lot and hope she comes back. She’s desperate for a puppy. Maybe I’ll emigrate and escape the terror.

We’ll have to have to keep practicing polite parties.

Blessing#1361-Sips

The monsoon is back so we had to get our steps in between downpours.

I had just time to get a quick pee in first thing before the heavens opened. While we waited for the rain to end Ma got busy.

Poor Dad was ordered to sit in the middle of the bathroom so she could cut his hair.

He has no choice in these matters. When Ma commands he must obey.

That done and the beauty parlor vibe still in full swing she took to her toes.

They got gelled but when Jaws woke up she stepped on them so they are messed up and smudgy. She got scolded and I smirked. How I love it when she gets in trouble. Makes me feel so good.

We then did our trot.

We met Remington who is Mega’s key love interest. As always she tried to slobber all over his face so I had to take her in hand.

The « thing » is stupid though as she is now having a go at me.

I managed to momentarily exhaust her. She is doing her I would like a massage pose. It won’t last long!

Don’t you think she’d look good on a barbecue?

One of these days you’ll read an obituary.

Blessing#1379-Spa Day!

We’re a bit late on the banter because Ma has been rushing all day and got so exhausted we had to have a nap.

It lasted a little longer than planned.

The cause of the fatigue is two fold.

First, something we were thrilled to come upon, the second something as rare to uncover as gold dust.

Last evening, dinner over and a glass of wine in hand, Ma hit on the Jubilee Concert available in its entirety to watch on ABC TV. She was ecstatic.

We had a great singalong with Rod Stewart and enjoyed every moment but especially Andrea Bocelli and Celeste.

We got to bed a little late, even the Princess was read for her pit, but it was well worth it.

Today Ma had to go on the hunt for Corn Starch. Is there anything more mundane?

Well let me tell you, either everyone in Central Ohio has taken to baking or this white powder is being diverted into another more lucrative outlet than the grocery shelf.

Anyone else had trouble finding it.

Mom’s theory is that the price of oil has made biofuel interesting again and it’s being used to make jet fuel instead of for cooking.

Anyway she got some and then had to get all her baking done. Good news is we are safe on shortbread supply for a week or two.

Blessing#1359-Finds