Author: boomingbanter

Yesterday a whole slew of doggie tales showed up on Ma’s Facebook.

So this morning as I was sitting on my perch thinking of the day ahead I had an idea.

Ma I said let’s use these to tell my story today.

Remember earlier this week you left me home and went out drinking beer? Well some people take their canines too.

It’s to reward them for a job well done. I feel I do a great job. Like how many dog write a blog. That surely deserves some regular pay!

You hardly ever take me out for road-trips anymore since that menace arrived so you could buy me a new ball instead. A trip to the lake would also go down well provided you don’t teach the tike how to swim.

Remember the longer I live the older you will live too. Just look at this guy from Ireland and his pooch. Bet he takes his dog out for a pint.

I get it that you are challenged each day because of the wretch so let’s leave her home and go it alone.

Alas I hear her calling.

Blessing#1251- Feed

Dad and the bro took Ma out to her favorite pub last night for fish and chips and beer!

It was the first time since August that they’d all been out together as Dad hasn’t been so well as you all know.

Now, since he can go without oxygen for five hours, they can start going places again and stuffing their faces.

I was totally miffed they didn’t take me. I’d have happily waited in the car for them.

I was more than miffed I was totally disgusted that they didn’t bring me home a single chip.

I huffed so much Ma took pity on me.

So this morning since she was cracking on with the baking again I’ve had a scrambled egg, my mini scone and some bread pudding Dad made for her post birthday brekkie!

I’ve decided to turn the other cheek, forgive and forget the injustice I’ve suffered and eat up before the dragon roars.

Blessing#1250-Compensation

It’s Mums birthday so I’m being super sweet to her.

She’s got lots of messages and many feature people singing including one of her heart throbs from teen years.

Others feature tea pots and tea cups and big cakes. I wonder why.

We were reflecting this morning before we got up on how many dog years she is.

As she’s 62 in human terms that makes her close to 9 in doggie years.

That seems awfully young until you put it into the context of our pouches.

Bingley made it to 11.

Dibley to 12

Darcy to 13

So Ma is definitely past the halfway mark.

I as you know am 3&1/2 which makes me older and definitely more mature than the bro.

The niece is just 3/4 which explains I suppose her behavior. She’s a preschooler.

Ma says she still feels about 5 which explains why we get along better than any other souls on the planet.

Blessing#1249-Happy Returns

See my Mom she is always yapping at my poor Dad that he collects too much paper.

This sometimes results in her having to eat humble pie.

Take this morning when she read her emails there was a message from Switzerland asking for two very important documents.

Quick as a flash Dad found them.

Took him five minutes. Just look at the time on these pics!

I was going to say to Mom that she owes Dad an apology for all the times she’s shouted about paper but I kept my trap shut.

Sees she’s good at finding things too. Hers are somewhat less important!

Like yesterday she snagged all this fondue on sale at Aldi.

It’s hard to imagine that in the USA they can sell Swiss fondue for less than they do in its country of origin.

Ironic too that these two finds relate to La Confederation Helvetic too!

Blessing#1248-Book Keeping

Happy Valentines Day y’all.

The niece and me put our heads together with the bro and got the pack leader some candy and flowers.

She is all pleased because she wasn’t expecting the flowers.

Deep down you know we are a nice bunch.

We just pretend to be at each others throats now and then.

Hope you get some lovely surprises today! Be sure to give kisses.

Blessing#1247-Lovebirds

We are crazy mad excited about the Super Bowl this evening because our Ohio team the Bengals are playing.

Orange is everything.

Ma has changed her avatar for the event.

She even made avatars for the niece and me. Mine is not quite the perfect capture but does look suitable regal and grumpy dare I say.

Mega’s is pretty close to her Pitty Princess pose! She is so common!

We have orange toys out to shred later.

Ma has pulled out every orange vestment she possesses to layer them over her brown trousers that she had great difficulty getting into.

Heck we even have orange poop bags. Who goes that far?

Don’t think there is much more we can do for now except pray so I’m sending the parents off to church and getting on my knees for good measure!

Blessing#1246-Cheerleaders

I know I was a grumpy Gizz yesterday but today I want to speak well of GALENTINES!

They like scones! Good taste like me!

So first thing this morning Ma had to make more because more Gals are coming today!

The Princess Pitty was still waiting for her Prince to kiss her so we got them done in peace.

The great advantage for me in this early morning process is I get the egg glaze scrambled for my brekkie.

Ma covers it in kibble to tempt me to eat more. I complied in part.

She also always bakes me a little personal Scone so I can perform the quality control.

This morning she nailed it not a defect of any kind to report.

Time to wake the monster.

Blessing#1245-Scooby Snacks

I’m a bit miffed with Mom.

She and auntie Paula are organizing a GALENTINES event at the tearoom and boutique.

Paula is talking about style and fashion trends and Ma is serving tea. They are all psyched because they are sold out! More on this tomorrow.

Anyway she didn’t even take us half a mile this morning. As soon as my jobs were done she turned for home and dumped us with Dad. She might as well move to that wretched old house. At the very least she could build me a kennel up there.

So what else to do but play « give the dog a bone ». It’s a game you need two for so I suppose the niece is of some use. Limited mind you and only worthy when I win.

All this nonsense about being in it for the gamesmanship is bull. You gotta be the one on the top podium with your anthem playing. I nose you know.

Blessing#1244-Going for Gold

The past few days we’ve had a thaw. That’s great because we get to walk further in the evening as it’s still light now when Ma gets home.

The niece is not yapping about how cold she is and shivering like some freak anymore. Just being a total pain as always. Attention seeking psycho!

My nose definitely tells me spring is just around the corner.

In Ireland, as seen in my Auntie Sandra’s garden pics it has already come. The snowdrops are blooming and the birds are singing.

Someone posted a pic from Sandringham where the Queen was staying last week and it look like virtual summer there. The grass is definitely greener at the palace plenty of pots of gold there too I bet.

We have no doubt some more days when snuggling will still be needed but it’s hopefully now safe to say the worst is over.

Our community pool even sent out emails about membership renewal. Bring out the bathing suits!

Blessing#1243- 131 Days!

Every morning before I eat my breakfast I take care of Dad’s meds.

He has a lot and they are very colorful but I don’t eat them.

Ma says it’s like playing an old game getting them all lined up.

Since he stopped taking two that thin the blood back in December he has got much stronger and can now go without oxygen for five hours

This, along with my TLC and a lot of red meat and iron and Vitamins and OJ have brought his hemoglobin back to the normal range.

See meds are not always the answer to health.

As the Queen knows we dogs are the best solution to a long and healthy life.

So give a bone today to your very best Buddy just like my Dad does.

Blessing#1242-Personal Therapists