Ma is on the war path. We got into a tangle on our walk this morning when we spotted some venison on the move and we nearly broke her pinky. It’s taken on a peculiar allure.
She screamed blue murder at us and vowed that we were going to be kept in check from now on.
She went shopping and is now back with two retractable leashes for monster dogs.
One is made in Germany and Ma says that’s for me as it should be of excellent quality and hold me tighter than a straight jacket. I’m definitely number one puller in this place.
She will be in for a shock if it’s as feeble as it wrapping because the niece noshed that up in no time.
The dark side is getting a made in China but it’s also for a hundred pounder so it should hold her tight for a time too.
Secretly we are happy to have these new gizmos because our old leashes were way to short and no fun at all.
We’re going to test them out this afternoon in the sunshine. We’ll be good at least until pinky has straight!
I have been subjected to such unimaginable trauma.
I was taken to this place and they knocked me out.
When I woke up I was definitely no longer my former self. Part of me had been extracted and it wasn’t a tooth!
I’m improving and firing again on two cylinders but I’m certainly not the same girl I use to be.
I’m not sure I can trust these humans again.
The pain meds aren’t bad, taste a bit like a treat, though they make you feel real woozy.
See my uncle Scooby though he’s been great.
Looked after me like a gardien Angel.
I think we may have come to a different understanding and deeper respect for each other at least until such times as I can grab him by the scruff of the neck again.
Well I know you are all waiting for the latest on yesterday’s adventures so I’m getting this out before dawn.
The bro returned without the niece at 7:30 am.
My heart leapt with delight. She had indeed been returned to sender.
Ma took me out with Auntie Denise for a good trot and it was just like old times. No leashes crossing or flossy in my face. I was in heaven.
Soon Ma left for work and then the bro left for work and I was left with Dad.
Man the days go slow when you have no one to chase or complain about. There is really only so much CNN and My 600lb Life that I can take. So I snuck off to the kitchen to mope and watch the door.
No one came until 5:30 pm when in walks Ma.
She says to me “now Scooby you’re a good boy and I want you on your very best behavior because Nala is spaced out”
She gives me food, disappears and after a few minutes in she comes again with the niece.
I took one look at her and realized she was high as a kite. The niece that is not Ma!
Her eyes were kind of rolling backwards and here’s the best bit. She mooches over to the food and water bowls and then turns her back on them without so much as a munch or a sip.
Now I was worried. Ma said I had to be super soft with her as she has stitches in her belly. Seems a bit young and skinny to me for a tummy tuck but maybe they did a gastric bypass to economize on kibble!
Having missed her after that initial period alone I felt I must administer intensive care.
She snuggled up by Dad and at one point I was considering giving her a whiff of his oxygen but decided instead on mouth to mouth.
She eventually came round and sipped a smidgen of water but not a morsel passed her muzzle.
Off to bed she went at 9:00 pm without so much as a single snarl.
Granny says that makes me three in human years which explains a lot!
What progress I have made. Just compare these shots of me in Grandpa’s arms.
On arrival I was nothing much larger than a worm but the worm has turned!
Since then I have sharpened my teeth on quite a few different materials.
I have increased the weekly grocery bill significantly by eating enough kibble to kill a tiger. At one time the bowls were as big as myself but like David I conquered the giant.
All this has resulted in me growing taller
Getting stronger
Of course I also have grown more beautiful by the day at least in the eyes of my humans.
We usually fill our two red recycling bins each week and only have one small trash bag for the landfill.
Nala obviously has observed and learned that this is important for the environment. She watches absolutely everything.
Yesterday Ma was working all afternoon and so was the bro so the tike was secured in her kennel in the brother’s bedroom.
When Ma got home after tending to us and eating a quick dinner she had to rush to a meeting.
The niece was nicely chilling and quiet after having had her kibble and a quick outing so Ma decided to leave her with me and Dad. Ma just hadn’t the heart to lock her up again.
BIG mistake.
When she got back two hours later the first thing that greeted her was a big empty soda bottle in the middle of the floor.
No sign of Nala.
Up the stairs she went only to find more empty bottles on the landing.
Where was the niece? Had she started cleaning too!
She was uncovered deep in the recesses of the brothers bedroom literally buried in rubbish.
She’d got into his laundry basket and demolished underpants and socks and then got into the hidden stash of snacks he keeps under his desk!
She was swollen like a balloon.
A full extra large pack of popcorn gone not to mention a family size bag of potato chips and of all things a bag of candy floss.
Such was the extent of the two hours of work that we dared not take a photo of it lest it might cause the weaker among you to pass out.
If she continues like this we will have no need for rubbish bags at all. She is a living incinerator.
Only she can transform trash into fertilizer in less than twelve hours!
Mega Mouth so far this morning has destroyed my Mum’s favorite flip flop and my bro’s favorite hat. She has currently taken off to the top of the stairs for some quiet time to demolish a baseball.
We are excusing her on the grounds that she must have teething problems.
I gazed into her cavernous cruncher and could see she still has some ways to go to have her complete set.
Poor Ma is also having a chopper crisis. She was chewing her nails last night while watching Call the Midwife. It was very tense and sad.
It was even sadder when she chipped her front tooth.
Poor woman never gets a break. Talk about bringing new meaning to the old saying “hard as nails”
Booming Banter 