Author: boomingbanter

Since we, along with more than half the USA are again under heat advisory which essentially means it’s dangerous to stay outside for longer than it takes to pee, a family conference was held to discuss the nature and condition of my coat.

It was deemed too long to survive another round of 100F so immediate action was called for.

My normal groomer is booked out till end September so that wouldn’t help me so the bro found a solution at one of those pet chain stores that offers beautification.

We had to drive about thirty minutes to get to one which was sweet. He stuck around with me for a while but since it was taking time he decided he needed to get food. He needs refueling every two hours. Worse than a supercharged HUMMER he is.

They cut me nice and short all over my body but when they got to my feet and legs I gave them a nice little snarl and they stopped.

Seems this joint doesn’t believe in muzzles or milk bone bribes to get the job done.

Result is I have started a new tend. Ma calls it the Lama.

I call it just perfect. Cool bod big boots! Unique and unmatchable!!!

Blessing#1418-Half Cut

Yesterday a rare event occurred. Both Mom and the bro had the day off.

Not knowing what to do with all their free time they first made brownies and chocolate chip cookies that smelled so good to one who is fasting. I persisted with my refusal to touch the unadulterated kibble so Ma said it was not her problem and I could starve if I liked.

Secretly though she was feeling sorry for me so she suggested the bro and her take me and Mega to the dog park to try to work up my appetite. So we hopped in the car, me up front and Meg in the trunk and off we went.

Meg had never been to the dog park before as Ma didn’t want to risk taking her alone and not being able to control her if she got out of hand.

She needn’t have worried. When we got there there wasn’t a soul.

All the dogs were at the dog beach and in the lake but Ma said we weren’t going in there as Meg had just been groomed and she didn’t want her to get stinky again.

So we played in the park.

It was a lot of fun and we didn’t fight even for one minute.

We were both quite exhausted so Ma expected I’d eat a good dinner.

Not me. Drank a bowl of water and ate not one piece of kibble. Mega was happy that she’d scored again.

I’m serious. Unless that stuff is dressed up I’m shunning it for good. It’s not worth the consequences.

Still we had a great day even if my tummy is a little rumbly. Maybe we need some more family time like this to help build up our appreciation of each other.

Blessing#1417-Day Out

I have initiated a period of prayer and fasting as I still have the runs.

Mom at first felt sorry for me but has since become mad as a hatter with the amount of cleaning she has been forced to do.

Fasting in our home is particularly difficult when temptation is great. Invariably some crumbs (make that fries) fall from the overflowing plate of my brother.

I’m resisting though.

The vacuum has benefited from my condition because she wraps her chops around all of my uneaten kibble.

She has given me time to rest and has taken to watching the news as a distraction.

Apart from the tummy all other functions are fine and I did my usual circuit of the retreat this morning.

Blessing#1416- Recovery

When we were out for our morning constitutional yesterday it was delightfully cool. Even a little chilly.

That may explain why right after picking up Auntie Denise we happened on two fawn lying under a big old tree.

They didn’t see us until after Denise took their photos and then they up sticks and took off.

Usually we see the fawns with their Moms but maybe she was having a break.

We wondered if one was our Memorial who would be two months old now.

We’ve seen deer in the yard since her birth but so far this year no return visit from fawns.

Let’s hope it was her and that she had a brother or sister.

Blessing#1415-Siblings

Greeting passionate peeps this is your very own smug Pitty speaking.

Do you want to know a secret?

Remember yesterday Granny told you about the stink the Gizzard was making. Well it was more than gas.

When she eventually got up and went to the bathroom a certain canine not far from my left ear had been there before her. He’d left a big present just in front of the shower.

Now if I’d done that she’d have had my guts for garters but oh no. When we went out walking she told the neighbors about how smart he was that he’d gone to the bathroom all by himself and not caused a mess on the carpet. Pitty your PITTY please!

Is that fair? I ask you. When I do even the smallest little oopsie she’s at me and Grandpa is even worse. With him I can’t even spill water without getting an earful.

Anyway the Gizz had to lie low all day and I walked around with my nose in the air sniffing up the bleach and feigning I was faint. Clorox shares will rise on Monday. It was everywhere.

That bathroom needed a clean anyway and those mats are now pure as the driven snow.

I still am smirking though. He’ll not tell me what to do for the next week at least.

Blessing #1414-Bathroom Break

I’ve been awake for a while not feeling good.

I woke Ma up at 4:45 with my retching so she’s not chuffed.

Nothings coming up but I am also emitting noxious fumes. Ma has inspected the whole room but there is no trace of any production.

There now didn’t that get your weekend off to a less than good start.

To make up for it I’ll now try to crack you up with a few more pleasant thoughts.

When in doubt resort to chicken. Even for jokes for a grumpy Mama.

If that fails tell old dog tales about when you were just a puppy and super cute. Puppy’s melt hearts.

Finally if she is still huffing and puffing and bemoaning the fact that she has to do everything in this house and that she can’t even get a decent sleep remind her that bears and dogs are close cousins.

Blessing#1413-Gas

See when you stir of a morning and the first thing you hear is a big downpour it can have an impact on your mood. Make that Ma’s mood which of course rubs off on me.

In this case it was extremely positive because she was thinking she’d have to water the plants this morning and now she doesn’t so we can snuggle under for a few more minutes.

Better still it induced a look at the rest of the days forecast and things could not be better.

For our trot the rain will stop and it will be cool

The maximum temperature for the day is only 79F which is a heck of a lot lower than the close to 100F we’ve been having.

In Northern Irish meteorological speak that’s sweltering but having adapted nicely to hotter climes Ma says it’s just “grand”

Blessing#1412-Sweet Spot

One of Ma’s pals posted this list on Facebook of things she’s no longer interested in.

It got me thinking of the things that interest me most. So here’s my top five favorite things.

Number one is being close to Mom.

I follow her everywhere I can even to the can just incase she flushes away.

Next up is sleep. Especially sleep beside my Mama.

Third up is going car. It’s especially good when you can go alone with Mom and sit in Dads seat and have the window down and let that breeze hit your face.

Fourth since I’m into nature and solitude a good trot through the woods to smell all the posts on the trees does my heart good particularly if not accompanied by the demonic presence.

Finally it would be enjoying being myself even if I’m on the grumpy side at times. A Good Huff is hard to beat!

Blessing#1411-Hits!

Ma discovered on Sunday that she’d missed an episode of the Crown. She just could not imagine how this was possible as it was the one where Charles met Camilla.

So it was that Dad, the Demon and myself were subjected to Series 3 episode 8 which inevitably led to 9 and 10 last evening. Painful!

The only saving Grace with this is that she can’t watch it without eating popcorn.

We uncovered some forgotten facts too that the poet Laureate at the time Sir John Betjeman had penned a dittie about the Queen in 1977 at the time of her silver jubilee.

It is very sweet.

How Ma missed this is a puzzle as she recalled every detail of the pink outfit so well and all the events of that summer that involved much partying and little school work.

Maybe she was too busy disco dancing and holding lyrics in her head to pack in a little poem!

Blessing#1410-Reruns

Greeting passionate peeps bet that gave you a lovely surprise! I just couldn’t wait another moment to let y’all know about my trip to the beauty parlor.

It was all arranged by my Dad.

He swept me up in his arms yesterday morning and drove me off into the sunshine.

Well actually we didn’t go that far just two miles down the road but it felt like an adventure.

Granny has been complaining that I was ripping her wrinkled skin apart with my every lengthening nails so I had a mani pedi.

After that since I’d been gently glowing all summer as we ladies do I had a bubble bath and blow dry before having the best perfume money can buy applied behind my ears and tush. No expenses were spared. My Dad loves me so much!

I came home smelling so sweet I completely confused the Grey Gizzard he though I might have turned into a pretty baby girl.

That’s when I was forced to show him while I might be shining like the stainless steel I’m made of iron.

Blessing#1408-Grooming