Author: boomingbanter

Yesterday Dad had a check up and I’m happy to say the news is good.

No wonder he can go without oxygen his hemoglobin is like an « IRON MANS ».

You’d need all the oxygen you can get when you’re out walking these days as it’s a tad toasty.

Around five last evening we went for our trot. I choose to go down the hill.

Just as we were nearing the road we saw it.

A fox out sniffing around in the ditch.

Ma had seen it last week and stopped the car to take its photo.

Mega wanted to play with it but Ma and me decided it was best to turn around and hike it hard back up the hill.

We’re not convinced it altogether normal for a fox to be out at that time of day.

Maybe it’s a Mama out foraging for food or a young one who’s a bit barmy like the PIT!

Regardless we aren’t keen on having to have rabies shots if it happened to decide it didn’t like us!

Which reminds me Dad got his second booster yesterday so all in all he’s good to go another 100,000 miles at least!!!!

I’ll still keep a close eye on him though.

Blessing#1381-Peak Profile

Greetings Passionate Public. Bet that woke you up.

I don’t usually publish midweek but the Grey Gizzard is feeling very imperious and won’t engage in combat right now so I’ve nothing better to do than write.

Yesterday Granny was off all day so after our big walk she did a crockpot clean it all up cooking session. She takes all the veggies that are looking tired and chops them into small bits and slowly cooks them for hours with minced meat. It’s really fun because I get the ends of carrots and celery all to myself because the Gizz doesn’t eat those. He’s such a fussy old fellow.

When she was clearing out the onion bin I found a box of balls hidden beside it. She let me have one and it kept me amused for about an hour even though it was meant to be indestructible I managed to shred it.

We then had our lunch and went to her chamber for a nice nap. The Gizz hates it when I enter his territory. He eventually succumbs to slumbers. You should have seen him sprawled out snoring he looked so stupid. I could have taken him out in a second but of course being a compassionate critter I did not.

Refreshed we returned to do more cooking and eating.

My philosophy on that is make the most of every moment.

I’ve really learned a lot from my Granny. She’s so good. We gals gotta stick together in this man cave.

Blessing#1380-Guidance

I have learned a new word.

It’s one my Mom had never used in her entire life. She even had to lookup the meaning.

Over the past few weeks though almost every time you turn on the TV you hear it. Seems some SUPREME people who are meant to be extremely SMART use it.

Clearly when they use it they are communicating among themselves.

That troubles me greatly!

We THE PEOPLE need to speak.

Blessing#1379-Ballot Boxes

The Entente Cordiale has been suspended.

Once more I am officially at war with The PIT.

She has started scraping the basement door as soon as Ma and me arise from our chamber.

The bro no doubt is still snoring below so Ma let’s her out of the dungeon she shares with him in fear she many have an urgency that results in our asphyxiation and a massive cleanup. It’s potential worse that a nuke her poop.

That in itself is not the cause for the return of hostilities it’s what happens next.

Instead of a leisurely graze through my fruhstuck I am forced to gulp down every morsel while she stands poised like the panzer division beside me ready to pounce on my bowl. Should I turn away for a second she’s into it.

Thus freed from overnight digestion and replete with food that should have been all mine she starts.

Round and round and round in circles she goes taunting me terribly.

I am getting too old for this.

A new strategy is needed to bring this enemy under control.

I may need to retreat for a day or two to draw up plans but I have a major force on my side.

Dad has pulled out the history books and we’ve set up the map room in the office with the glass door.

Blessing#1378-Tactics

My extraordinary beauty is beyond question.

Some of my more faithful followers have likened me to a certain Mona Lisa.

I would not be surprised if I was called upon for a sitting so I am polishing up my poses. Note if you would my alluring smile.

The Gizzard says I resemble more closely an alien than an Italian maiden.

Who is he to judge.

Just a stinky old Texan.

Doesn’t know the meaning of purebred Pitty Perfection. I’ve just that little edge over others.

Should you wish to capture me in oil on canvas please consult Wrinkle Woman.

Blessing#1377-Muse

It’s been three weeks since I’ve been able to go to work with Mom because it’s too hot for me to stay in the car. Instead I have to suffocate at home with Dad and Mega.

It could be worse I could be making pizza with the bro. That’s a super hot job when the outdoor temperatures are nearing the 100 mark.

Ma took some pics to show me how things are coming along in the fields on our country roads.

On my last trip the corn was tiny.

Now it’s almost as big as Ma herself.

Can you imagine if everything grew that fast and it’s still not as high as an elephants eye.

The only thing that has reached that height is the poke weed Ma is cultivating in our yard for the blue birds. It’s huge! That great tree like arbuste is all this seasons growth!!!!

The corn looks real pretty especially when contrasted with the wheat that’s now quite golden and ready to harvest.

It’s just amazing that soon it will be flour and then that will be transformed to things I can wrap my chops around.

The miracle of agriculture and food science!

Blessing#1376-Crusts!

What is it with women and their need to wear hard wear around their neck?

The good thing is when Mom leaves Mega’s on her it gives her something to chew on and keeps her monstrous trap shut for a while.

She very vain you know so if Ma is wearing her jewels she wants to wear hers too.

Ma says it’s not an exclusively female domain to wear neck wear. I’m keeping any such thoughts well away from here! The only collar for me is the stinky blue one that is obligatory for walks.

PIT has jaws of steel so I keep telling Ma not to let her chew her choker for too long but she doesn’t listen. Just breaks into song which I don’t understand.

Do you get it?

Maybe it’s another girlie thing because I don’t!

Blessing-1375-Unchained

Yesterday was international yoga day. We forgot but our Guru cousin Krishna reminded us.

We do our Sun salutations most days. Although with it also being the summer solstice we don’t always make it out before dawn these mornings.

I am pretty flexible and good at up dogs and down dogs but the Pit has me beat when it comes to stretching.

I am not quite sure how she does it but she manages to elongate her body into a sausage like conformation.

It doesn’t just last for a second either she can stay like that for half an hour.

I believe in a past life she may have lived in an ashram.

Wonder would they take her back I’m fed up being nice to her. She’s very gifted at the prayer pose!

Blessing#1374-Namaste

Since Pits was so pleasant in her posting about my personal training skills I gave her a little slack yesterday. I so totally am a gentle giant!

Ma found a new pod cast about Prince Charles so we all adjourned to our chambers to listen to it.

We played a little then snuggled some and then the little Princess fell asleep.

She was as sweet as that water melon she recommended. I patted her little Pitty head.

It has an addition use that watermelon.

Serves as super strong hair gel for your whiskers when you’ve had a feast on it which we did with Ma.

Gives great definition to color and character of my cruncher and made we feel a bit like I too was born to rule.

Blessing#1373-Styling Support

There is no doubt I am an outstanding beauty. Many have asked me to share my tips. My devoted public are particular intrigued by my ability to remain svelte while eating like a horse.

I am THE living breathing French PITTY paradox.

Part of my Perfection lies in my genes. I have been blessed with muscularity. Genes are no excuse though for being ugly. You still got to work on being a beauty.

Exercise is essential. Build up whatever muscle you have with plenty of interval training. If you haven’t got one find a personal trainer to beat you up. The Gizz is mine. Have them chase you round in circles for at least an hour each day.

Cardio and build up complete work on the steps. For this you may need companionship to keep you motivated. Granny is good. She can’t chase me round in circles like the Gizz but she can walk to the park and back or round Cardinal Hill.

Talk as you go and do a bit of wildlife and plant spotting. If that gets boring play Dancing Queen and other such disco music to make you skip.

If you can do this multiple times daily it will help a lot but ultimately you must manage your intake as well as your output.

Regular well balanced meals are essential but if you must snack choose wisely. Eat wood or grass if you can as it passes straight though. If that doesn’t appeal and you still have a desire to chew think of things that take time.

This morning as an example I pulled down some dried banquette from the counter. When it gets real hard it is a bit like wood.

Always have salad as it’s like eating grass only humans usually put sauce on it.

Finally, fill your gut with fluid ideally water in any form. Go slow on the sugar but a little now and then is OK.

Voilà! Easy peasy lemon squeezey!

Should you have questions please post and I’ll get back to you as your very only Pitty Personal Perfectionist!

Blessing#1372-Régime