Author: boomingbanter

What else dear reader can I do today than pay tribute to my Dad.

I love him beyond measure because he is my major purveyor of treats.

A devotee of the Oreo and Custard Cream cookie he generously shares the same with me each morning. He also keeps me pieces from his dinner plate each evening and chops them into tiny pieces to delight my palate.

He is also a person of great intellectual capacity that I have inherited by osmosis. He never tires of filling his mind with new knowledge hence the book that is eternally attached to his arm.

On occasions when the bro returns with unexpected gifts such as a tiny black worm he is gracious if somewhat gobsmacked.

He has a full room of clothes bearing labels such as Dior and Balmain yet he is often dressed by Walmart.

His favorite grey vestment has to be occasionally prized from his body by my Ma to be refreshed.

Please note dear reader the frequency with which he has been photographed in this garb if you do not believe me.

On occasion though he does dress up and looks quite fine setting an example for the bro.

We are all delighted to report that after a rocky road this year he has been completely freed from the oxygen tube for the past two weeks.

We love you Dad and hope you enjoy the pancakes we’re going to make you for brunch because Ma has declared your getting no more books!

Blessing#771-PaPaw

This is one you won’t believe but it’s gospel!

To say I was ecstatic when I awoke this morning would be an understatement.

Bliss had returned. The air was cool as yesterday’s five day forecast had indicated.

Ma dutifully did as I instructed and rolled up the blinds and opened the windows.

Let’s go girl I said I cannot wait to chill.

She prepared my brekkie adding hot chicken grease she’d kept from dinner a few nights ago especially for me.

I was bursting though so couldn’t eat more than a nibble till I did my pee.

She noted the signals and took me out.

That’s when it happened.

We returned instantaneous to find jaws with her massive muzzle in my bowl.

She gets more like that wolf in Goldilocks every single day.

Not a morsel did she leave me. Licked that bowl to sparkling clean.

How the heck though did she escape from the basement?

That door doesn’t even have a handle she could push down!

The only thing I can think of is she opened it with her mouth.

Maybe with just a little encouragement she might open the front door.

It’s one of those clever ones that you can get out but you can’t get back in. Sweet.

Blessing#1370-Deadlocks

Greetings my passionate public it is your very own PITS publishing today from the heat haze we call home!

I’m using the abbreviated terminology as Princesses can’t be anything other than cool and today I’m definitely hot.

The Grey Gizz is too worn out to even think let alone compose although the need to keep his gob open does give him a happier than normal allure.

He has also become extremely stinky in this climatic challenge. That coat is just odoriferously overwhelming. Worse than Granny’s feet! Do not plan to visit us until we have scheduled Stanley Steamer.

He has given up the fight and I snagged the slipper but we are competing on a different front now. Tongue length.

Young and gracious as I am let me tell you I have him beaten.

Not only have I the biggest and widest smile in the canine kingdom I also possess the longest and loveliest lingua.

Thanks to this buccal bounty I also can stay cooler than most even when faced with the fiercest foe.

Triumphant is the only word for it!

Blessing#1369-Surface Area

I love my bro. He has saved my sanity.

See with record breaking temperatures our air conditioning packed up again. It just could not handle the pressure any longer!! Blew up or to be more accurate fizzled out like a stinky fart.

The fixer is scheduled to come this morning but there is little hope he’ll be able to repair it this time. Looks like we’ll have to install a new unit which will take time. We might have it by Christmas!!!!

All this panting I have to do to thermoregulate is tiresome and makes you so thirsty. We emptied the freezers ice capacity yesterday such was the demand for the crunchy cooling cubes.

Walks are no fun either they only make you hotter but Mega is so determined to get in her steps she’s walking herself.

The bro and Mega have moved to the basement which may explain why she still has some energy but I have to take care of the aged Ps so I’m baking on the first floor with them.

I believe Ma is secretly getting her steps in elsewhere. That Tearoom AC is working just fine!!!!

Anyway not to worry the bro has stepped in. He’s caused an out of stock situation at Walmart by buying a slew of industrial scale fans.

They are gigantic and sound like helicopters taking off but they are most effective.

I am extremely grateful. Never again will I say a bad word about him. His daughter? Well that’s a different story!

Blessing#1368-Aeration

I find it too hot to eat but it hasn’t stopped the vacuum cleaner or the humans. They’re all still munching away.

This climatic challenge has resulted in one point on which Mega and I have reached agreement.

It’s too hot to fight.

We are just floppy.

We have taken a sofa each.

I can’t even get a good sleep though because it’s too stuffy.

I which I could use scissors.

I’d clip all this hair off and run around stark naked. On that front the thing has an advantage over me.

We could be a lot worse. The poor Franklin County dog shelter along with an awful lot of people have no power.

They put out an appeal for ice last evening and people responded so fast that all the puppies are OK.

Think I’ll have a bowl of that for my brekkie.

Blessing#1367-Slushees

We are having a heat wave. I hear y’all singing along à la Carmen Miranda!

We got our walk in while it was still just warm rather than roasting.

Now we have adjourned to the basement to chill.

Ma got her baking all done Sunday and yesterday so we are watching documentaries about the Royals and having a complete do nothing day.

I’m trying to get a nice nap in on Moms lap but herself wants to play pillow fights.

She hasn’t spent much time down here so is exploring all the things to chew.

It’s one of my favorite spots in our place as in these depths there is no CNN.

I get sick of all the talk about gas and stocks.

Really I’m so glad it’s hot it really is quite cool just hanging out the three of us.

Blessing#1366-Underground

I’m getting closer and closer to getting rid of « It »

Yesterday morning she got herself into another big bit of bother.

It’s one of her summer favorites.

We went out for a walk as usual with PJ and Eddie and it was only when we left them Ma discovered the « thing » had pawed a big hole in her dress.

A nice little soft cotton number it is.

Fortunately it has a little underskirt or she’d have been walking home exposing her nickers.

See « It » has claws like Johnny Scissorhands. She uses them to shred all sorts of material. This though got her into deep trouble.

Ma has warned that any more destruction of material or matter and she’s getting no more attention. The bro will be her sole (soul?) provider.

You’d think butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth. That innocent I thought it was the fashion look and was just helping you Granny. Well she’s no Donatella Ma and me have her well and truly sussed!

Blessing#1365-Stylist

We are a few months away from the annual fair season but we had a practice round for the greased pig competition in our yard last night.

See Ma takes me and jaws out individually for a final performance around eight at night. She has to do it then as she has been know to fall asleep shortly after that witching hour especially if she’s had a busy day at the tearoom.

So it was that Dateline watched she rolled Jaws out first and then came back for me.

As we were going out the gate the « thing » escaped.

Flip what a circus. She was running round in circles like a mini tornado. My dream was that she run into the road and a car would come and make mash of her. No such luck. Round and round and round she went.

So I decided I better catch her and in my haste to help pulled poor Ma off her feet.

She was mortified but uninjured apart from a slight twist to the right wrist.

Back on her pins and after much further running around she managed to grab the monster who is definitely slithery and pig like.

Much scolding then ensued but it was brought to a halt by the return of the bro with snacks.

We needed them. That running around sure gives you a good appetite.

Wonder did any neighbors watch the spectacle!!!

Blessing#1364-Good Sport

Greetings passionate public it’s your very own Princess Perfect publishing today although I have seen better days.

You all know I have a heart of gold but was vexed to read the epistle from the Gizzard yesterday and felt some response was required. No doubt you’d anticipated this with bated breath.

He tries so hard to make a laughing stock out of me because he is truly a green eyed monster so jealous of my beauty and depth.

I am not one to wear my heart on my sleeve. That is only for the faint hearted. I display mine prominently where it belongs on the chest.

Things have now come full circle and I refuse to lie low!

Off with his head I hear you cry. Trust me peeps if he continues nothing will keep him out of the jaws of death.

Soon and very soon he will vanish into thin air.

Blessing#1363- Fighting Fire with Fire

Being a creature of great culture and refinement I am partial to a snippet of Shakespeare now a then.

Hence it was with great irony that I was awakened from my slumbers just now by my Mater musing over the great man’s words.

Cousin Krishna who is also an aficionado of the artist sent this to us overnight.

It shocked me how many of these sayings I could apply to a certain personage who slumbers yet and who is particularly gifted at setting my teeth on edge.

Each day I fear she more closely resembles a shrew. Alas she will not be tamed and invokes in me the desire to fight fire with fire.

As Midsummer Night approaches I so wish she would vanish into thin air.

Alas that may be just a dream. The be all and end all of this is that I am in a pickle and it may take several parts before she is well and truly dead as a door nail.

Blessing#1363-The Bard