Author: boomingbanter

Greetings my Passionate Public! It’s your very own Pitty Princess and it’s a very special day.

My first birthday.

I know y’all must be thinking “how could the world have existed without the Prettiest Pitty?” well it did.

Being a diva I thought it wasn’t too soon to issue a short autobiography.

I have evolved from a shrimp to a shining star. That was not difficult as it was always in my genes. It helped that like all wise women I got my shots and focused on wellness.

I learned early to accessorize to accentuate my allure. My preference is particularly pink. I’m considering launching a line!

I’m a great sport and have developed multiple skills and muscular tone.

My palate has become extremely refined.

In addition to kibble I have perfected the culinary arts. A recipe book is in the making.

I’m particularly fond of the unusual and exotic.

Take last night as an example when I feasted on Granny’s espadrilles and my Dad’s boxers.

They were almost equally rank but I think Dad wins.

I have weathered all the seasons.

Most of all I’ve overcome the obstacle of the obnoxious Grey Gizzard. I have him eating out of my hand.

Aren’t y’all so happy for me.

I’m not sharing a single thing with him from my birthday stash unless he wants my flowers.

They may be toxic!!!!

To be continued………..

Blessing#1338-Chapter1

I’m writing this from the comfort of my nice warm bed. I’m comforting Mom because she is sad.

See ten lovely humans went out yesterday and never got back home to their bed last night.

They went grocery shopping like many humans do on a Saturday.

They probably worked all week in schools and factories and hospitals and offices and needed to get food in for their families maybe even for their four legged kids like me.

A man killed them. He is definitely not right in the mind but he’s not the only problem.

There is so much hatred in this country and yet there is so much goodness and opportunity too.

What can we do?

Every time something horrible like this happens everyone say “no more” but then they forget until it happens again.

I guess for right now the only thing is to get up and get on.

Blessing#1337-Stand Up

Some of you ask how I come up with my daily banter. Well it’s all down to trust. See he who made us gives us our daily message as well as our daily bread.

Take this morning.

Ma was super exhausted last night as she had her first wedding at the tearoom and had an inordinate amount of dishes to do. Add to this that she has another big do today and they’re coming early so she had to get the floors done and the tables set before she came home.

So, this morning, anticipating a repeat performance tonight, she says to me “Scooby we better rise at dawn and get those baby plants watered before I leave”

The poor things didn’t get hydration last night. They were only put in the ground on Monday and it hasn’t rained a drop since. Sure enough we were out there just after six.

We have to plod round the yard with our watering cans which doesn’t bother me a bit but it’s gets the human’s shoes covered in mown hay!

Lest she tramps it inside and incurs Dad’s wrath she has to wash them.

That’s when we got our bit of banter!

The shoes have a name!

See it! Written on the soul. Grasshoppers!

Now I ask you!

Blessing#1336- A GIVEN

Yesterday was Ma and Dad’s wedding anniversary. 36 years. The bro’s card was very to the point.

It was however very much just another day.

Ma got another box of Ferrero and then had a hot date with me and the demonic and Denise at 7:45 am.

We had a little wild life safari in the lovely warm weather.

Saw lots of bunnies. Denise got a great pic of one.

We also got up close and personal with some deer in our little wood by the park. That was the extent of the excitement!

Ma then went to work and came home late and was in a bad mood because someone ( that would be the bro and niece) had knocked over laundry detergent in the garage and didn’t clean it up. “I just don’t know what you’d all do if I slipped and fell in that mess”

She softened somewhat when she found a pizza in the fridge and then ate that and the chocs Dad got her while watching a CNN documentary on the Pope. Scintillating stuff!

Well maybe not so much.

Blessing#1335-Comfort

The « Thing » is learning new tricks on her own now.

She has worked out that in order to go for a trot you need a leash.

So she has started to jump up on the side board and bring the control cord over to Ma.

She knows there is little use in giving it to Dad and the bro is usually sleeping when she needs out in the morning so he’s hopeless too.

So poor Ma and me get lumbered with it. We are asking that y’all speak to the Pope in the matter of our canonization!

If Ma would only allow me to take her out on my own I could make a miracle.

I’d sneak her down to State Route 315. It’s only half a mile away and then I’d let go of her collar and bingo she’d be transformed into a heavenly being.

I’m working hard on my technique. Don’t say a word to the bro.

Blessing#1334-Unleashed Potential

We communicate in many ways.

For us canines body language is a big thing.

Ma has started to interpret for Dad what we are saying.

There is the do you want to have some fun pose.

There is the watch out I’m about to jump you pose.

This often gives rise to a bit of a tango.

Don’t you think a dancing with the stars for dogs would go down well.

I’d be the sarcastic judge.

I’d pair the niece with gigantic Pitty and sit back and smile as they do each other in.

Is that too much like dog fighting?

Blessing#1333-Posturing

Ma says that years and years and years ago there use to be a TV add about the benefits of eggs. The punch line was “Go to Work on an Egg“.

Well my loyal followers I am all set.

Ma opened the fridge this morning and pulled out my favorite treat that little yellow piece of pleasure that she saves for me from scone day.

I was in the living room but as soon as she opens the little pot she stores it in I was right into the kitchen.

She cuts it into tiny piece for me which makes me a little impatient.

I could just pop that piece of yumminess and be done but she has to toss it with my kibble to make me eat more.

Once I’ve picked through it I leave the rest for the walking dustbin.

She needs no enticement to nosh.

If she had an egg she might go into orbit.

Now maybe I should reflect on that possibility. Ovum Orbital Obnoxious Opportunity!

Blessing#1332-Fueled Up

It’s got terribly quiet at our place around 10:30.

Ma was cracking on at a fierce pace. Up early, stripped the bed, put the whites on to wash, took me and monster Miss for a two miler, came home put the whites in the drier and the colors in the washing machine, dumped the monster with the bro, grabbed me and Dad and off we went grocery shopping.

She’d just finished putting the food in the fridge and was in the garage arranging the staple store when poof the power went out.

The plan was to start baking immediately but we had no oven.

We also had no drier.

Nor did we have the television and worst of all we the oxygen machine had stopped purring too.

Fortunately the father can go without for six hours now and we have his reserve cylinders should this outage last a while.

It’s hard to understand why it happened though as the sun is back in business and there isn’t even a breeze let alone a storm.

The only thing for it is a little slumber party!!!

Sometimes I really like divine interventions.

Blessing#1331-Unscheduled Rest

I trust y’all have been as good to your Mom this morning as I’ve been.

Of course I had to handle all the kissy kissy wake up duties as the bro and niece are sleeping still. The bro did the shopping though!

I gave Ma a shake and a lick early and showed her that the sun was shining

and that it was time to get up and go.

She needed extra time to get started as she had to open her cards and trim her flowers. Fortunately she held off on getting into the chocs and wine.

As always I’d sent her a card although this one I was forced to send bore a striking resemblance to jaws.

Of course, even though she’s MY MOM, the demonic presence also had to get in on the deal and send her a card too! Such a little stinker.

Did you know that today is not just Mothers Day?

It’s also

……… and

………and

Next year if Mega is still around, which of course I sincerely hope she not, I’m making sure she’s informed in advance that she needs to send a card to Ma to celebrate that it’s also …..

If she hasn’t already been exterminated that should take care of it nicely.

Blessing#1330-Joint Celebration

Greeting Passionate Peeps it’s your very own Princess publishing today. This is my Lion King pose. After all my name is NALA! It’s has perfect potential for my poster campaign.

This soggy weather though is definitely not for me. The grey gizzard finds it acceptable but he is part poodle. He’s such a sycophantic old sucker!

Being a royal diva I have to find alternate indoor means to keep in shape.

I do steps. Up and down up and down the stairs.

Each time I reach my Dads bedroom door I smack it. It’s having a minor impact on the woodwork but Granny has resigned herself to replacement and Grandpa doesn’t go up there so he’s oblivious.

Once I’ve done that about ten times I get into the circuit.

This involves chasing the Gizz.

We go from dining room to kitchen to living to dining room. Occasionally we have a little wrestle to stretch and tone.

All this I highly recommend for muscle definition and maintenance of waist and abs and of course as a means to stay as perfectly Pitty pretty as me.

Blessing#1329-Workouts