Author: boomingbanter

Greeting Passionate Peeps it’s your very own Princess publishing today. This is my Lion King pose. After all my name is NALA! It’s has perfect potential for my poster campaign.

This soggy weather though is definitely not for me. The grey gizzard finds it acceptable but he is part poodle. He’s such a sycophantic old sucker!

Being a royal diva I have to find alternate indoor means to keep in shape.

I do steps. Up and down up and down the stairs.

Each time I reach my Dads bedroom door I smack it. It’s having a minor impact on the woodwork but Granny has resigned herself to replacement and Grandpa doesn’t go up there so he’s oblivious.

Once I’ve done that about ten times I get into the circuit.

This involves chasing the Gizz.

We go from dining room to kitchen to living to dining room. Occasionally we have a little wrestle to stretch and tone.

All this I highly recommend for muscle definition and maintenance of waist and abs and of course as a means to stay as perfectly Pitty pretty as me.

Blessing#1329-Workouts

Sometimes, make that usually, if I stare at my Ma in a certain way for long enough she gives into my whims.

Yesterday I persuaded her that I had to go to work. She’d do anything for me!

It was Goldilocks weather again and there was no rain in the forecast till the evening so she said let’s go!

Bummer though they got it wrong. It started raining AGAIN at two thirty so no walk on the way home.

She’d not brought a coat but she was wearing something remarkably like a choke chain. Wonder is she taking styling tips from Jaws?

It’s still raining and it’s going to continue till Sunday. We are planning to build an ark. We’re only taking one dog though. That stinking piece of Pitty can sink because I haven’t taught her how to swim!

Blessing#1328-Precipitation

Yesterday was that funny day when Star War’s fans go crazy.

Savannah on the TODAY a show is one of them.

She was going on about it all morning even when she interviewed Bill Gates.

He has a new book out and is as smart as any extraterrestrial.

I know all about microorganisms because I live with one.

She’s a pest so scary but not smart.

Clings to the bro like a virus and bears a sticking resemblance to Yoda.

Maybe if I could get her a role in the next epic I’d get rid of her for good.

Blessing#1327- Alien

By now you all know that Dad is my biggest fan and the major purveyor of my treats. He’s also usually smart as he hates Mega as much as me!

Last night though he made a grave error that got Ma mad as mad can be.

See she and Auntie Paula had been having their first annual Spring Fling to celebrate the anniversaries for their businesses opening.

There was a buffet supper (for heaven sake please say the new arrangements with the bookshelves look good)……

a fashion show with beautiful models and all clothes from Paula’s Posh Picks ……….

and a Derby hat contest and…..

as a finale when all this was coming to a close a thunderstorm to end all thunderstorms.

It lasted for the entire 45 minutes that Ma was driving home and was still going when she got here.

To say her nerves were a little shaky when she arrived would be accurate.

I announced her arrival and as usual I greeted her at the door that goes from the garage to the kitchen.

Dad swiftly joined me and uttered the what could have been historic last words “this poor dog needs to pee”

She went ballistic.

“Do you want me dead? Can you not see that storm? Look at that $¥#%*!& lightening! I just drove through that for the past hour and now you want me to stand in it while the dog pees!”

I retreated and did some yoga.

Blessing#1326-Deep Breathing

Yesterday the bro was off work and was given the onerous responsibility of taking care of his kid. I watched from on high as they lay on the sofa. I’ll spare you the sight of that scene!

Ma was busy doing other things. She has given up her booth at the antique mall so she can focus all her attention on me and the tearoom.

Ma had moved everything out last week but her car is only big enough to hold a small shelf so her pal Karen, who is an experienced dealer and used to handling large items of furniture, stepped in with her huge red truck to move Ma’s two book cases. They are now in place serving as room dividers at the tearoom. Gives place for two more customers when things get busy. Smart move Ma! You keep up the good work and get me more snacks!

Such was the tension back at the ranch between me and Mega that it gave rise to hostilities between the bro and my Dad too.

The bro was forced to seek peace keeping solutions lest China and India declare war. He went to Walmart and resorted to buying new Nyla bones.

The theory was that I’d have one jaws would have another and there’d be one in reserve.

Forget it. The thing ate a Nyla.

She then struck her incisors into mine. I hoped it might kill her.

Regretfully she pooped perfectly just now.

Maybe the reserve will do her in.

Blessing#1325-Arms Agreements

Ma took me out for a trot yesterday afternoon. It felt so great. I waltzed along like a real wolfhound, just took it easy and let the wind blow through my hair. It’s so good just being Ma and me. I simply can’t stand having to walk alongside that piece of Pitty.

When we got home the thing had it’s ears pinned back and was looking vexed. So Ma took her out alone too.

She was so pleased with herself she lay down and roared like a dragon when she got back. I tell you no lies when she opens that cavernous crater she calls a mouth you’d think fire was coming from it.

Peace didn’t last long though. When she got her breath back she started teasing me. It’s torture. A man can’t get a moment to just sit and chill.

So I read the riot act.

Put her right back in her place. I’m the numero uno around here! Done deal!

Blessing#1324-Lead Man

Last night when Ma was sipping her fizz she was watching Dame Mary Berry in a new program on PBS.

It’s about ancient places in the UK and the old families who live there.

I was thinking it might be boring so was getting Mega stirred up until I heard the word scone!

Usually, as you know, I supervise there production on Monday for Ma’s Tearoom.

The scone that Mary was taking about is a big stone. Sometimes Ma’s things turn out like stones too if she forgets the baking powder.

Dad and me and Mega don’t mind. They are still tasty. We smack them up!

Regardless, this big stone at scone is the sacred spot on which kings and queens of England sit when they are crowned.

Imagine that! Maybe why Mary’s getting chummy with the future Queen!

I prefer a softer seat thanks but that Cranachan food they give them afterwards that Mary made might make it worthwhile. Made me very hungry.

Clean got my appetite going it did and made me think maybe Mega could be trained to sit and stay on a stone, preferably about a million miles from here! After all she claims to be a Princess.

Blessing#1323-Traditions

Greetings Pitty Peeps. Bet you’ve been hoping it would be your very own Princess publishing today.

I know how much you love me and how boring the old Grey Gizz can be.

This morning in the spirit of charity, wisdom and understanding I am going to say a word of thanks to him even though I know he hates me.

See, even if it’s not official he has been teaching me a few tricks.

These are mostly not innate to my nature but, as an example, thanks to Gizzy I can now “Point”.

I practice this primarily on outing with Ma and Auntie Denise but I’m also using my skills indoors when I sense the deer crossing in the yard or a tufty noshing a nut on the patio.

So now you could say I am Princess Pretty Pitty Pointer! Could come in useful if I ever get more series about my publications and becoming a media star.

I sincerely believe there is a need for a star like me. Dolly Parton can only live so long! Y’all are great but I’m sure the whole world needs Pitty Power.

Kissing the Gizz was not easy but it shows how serious I am about this love lark. Start with your enemies dear peeps smack them a big one on the muzzle this morning.

When in doubt just follow my lead!

Blessing#1322-Mentorship.

This time of year the birds are busy. There’s one outside our bedroom window that’s better than an alarm clock. It’s a beeper!!

We’re not sure but we think it might be a bluebird.

They’re super busy little buddies at the minute nesting all around us.

They always make Ma think of one of her favorite songs.

It’s a real oldie.

She tells me it’s a song that makes her happy and for some reason sad all at the same time.

Happy because it has a great tune that reminds her of her youth and sad because that’s very definitely in the past.

I know how she feels. I’m happy to be up with Ma but I’m sad that not long from now I’ll have to share her with another who has not yet stirred.

Oh those happy days when it was just me and Ma. Oh well it’s Friday!!

Blessing#1321-Nostalgia

We’d just got back from our walk this morning and Ma was eating her brekkie and having her second cup of Joe when the monster roared.

We’d been quietly watching the TODAY program and had hit on a new show that Ma thought looked like fun and was planning to watch.

Mega springs at me and then flies past me onto the sofa. She’s like a canine canon ball. Could take you out in a single shot.

From the sofa she takes to barking and teasing me. Pure torture. Just take a look at those teeth. Like something you’d see in one of those dangerous dog documentaries.

I got her in hand quickly though. I’m no cartoon character I’m for real as superheroes go.

Ma was thankful for my diligence in allowing her to catch the end of the segment.

She was disappointed though that this show is only on the streaming service Peacock.

I’m delighted to hear this. Far to many women. Two are more than plenty for me to deal with!

Blessing#1320-2Mins2Gals