It’s been three weeks since I’ve been able to go to work with Mom because it’s too hot for me to stay in the car. Instead I have to suffocate at home with Dad and Mega.
It could be worse I could be making pizza with the bro. That’s a super hot job when the outdoor temperatures are nearing the 100 mark.
Ma took some pics to show me how things are coming along in the fields on our country roads.
On my last trip the corn was tiny.
Now it’s almost as big as Ma herself.
Can you imagine if everything grew that fast and it’s still not as high as an elephants eye.
The only thing that has reached that height is the poke weed Ma is cultivating in our yard for the blue birds. It’s huge! That great tree like arbuste is all this seasons growth!!!!
The corn looks real pretty especially when contrasted with the wheat that’s now quite golden and ready to harvest.
It’s just amazing that soon it will be flour and then that will be transformed to things I can wrap my chops around.
What is it with women and their need to wear hard wear around their neck?
The good thing is when Mom leaves Mega’s on her it gives her something to chew on and keeps her monstrous trap shut for a while.
She very vain you know so if Ma is wearing her jewels she wants to wear hers too.
Ma says it’s not an exclusively female domain to wear neck wear. I’m keeping any such thoughts well away from here! The only collar for me is the stinky blue one that is obligatory for walks.
PIT has jaws of steel so I keep telling Ma not to let her chew her choker for too long but she doesn’t listen. Just breaks into song which I don’t understand.
Do you get it?
Maybe it’s another girlie thing because I don’t!
There is no doubt I am an outstanding beauty. Many have asked me to share my tips. My devoted public are particular intrigued by my ability to remain svelte while eating like a horse.
I am THE living breathing French PITTY paradox.
Part of my Perfection lies in my genes. I have been blessed with muscularity. Genes are no excuse though for being ugly. You still got to work on being a beauty.
Exercise is essential. Build up whatever muscle you have with plenty of interval training. If you haven’t got one find a personal trainer to beat you up. The Gizz is mine. Have them chase you round in circles for at least an hour each day.
Cardio and build up complete work on the steps. For this you may need companionship to keep you motivated. Granny is good. She can’t chase me round in circles like the Gizz but she can walk to the park and back or round Cardinal Hill.
Talk as you go and do a bit of wildlife and plant spotting. If that gets boring play Dancing Queen and other such disco music to make you skip.
If you can do this multiple times daily it will help a lot but ultimately you must manage your intake as well as your output.
Regular well balanced meals are essential but if you must snack choose wisely. Eat wood or grass if you can as it passes straight though. If that doesn’t appeal and you still have a desire to chew think of things that take time.
This morning as an example I pulled down some dried banquette from the counter. When it gets real hard it is a bit like wood.
Always have salad as it’s like eating grass only humans usually put sauce on it.
Finally, fill your gut with fluid ideally water in any form. Go slow on the sugar but a little now and then is OK.
Voilà ! Easy peasy lemon squeezey!
Should you have questions please post and I’ll get back to you as your very only Pitty Personal Perfectionist!
What else dear reader can I do today than pay tribute to my Dad.
I love him beyond measure because he is my major purveyor of treats.
A devotee of the Oreo and Custard Cream cookie he generously shares the same with me each morning. He also keeps me pieces from his dinner plate each evening and chops them into tiny pieces to delight my palate.
He is also a person of great intellectual capacity that I have inherited by osmosis. He never tires of filling his mind with new knowledge hence the book that is eternally attached to his arm.
On occasions when the bro returns with unexpected gifts such as a tiny black worm he is gracious if somewhat gobsmacked.
He has a full room of clothes bearing labels such as Dior and Balmain yet he is often dressed by Walmart.
His favorite grey vestment has to be occasionally prized from his body by my Ma to be refreshed.
Please note dear reader the frequency with which he has been photographed in this garb if you do not believe me.
On occasion though he does dress up and looks quite fine setting an example for the bro.
We are all delighted to report that after a rocky road this year he has been completely freed from the oxygen tube for the past two weeks.
We love you Dad and hope you enjoy the pancakes we’re going to make you for brunch because Ma has declared your getting no more books!
Greetings my passionate public it is your very own PITS publishing today from the heat haze we call home!
I’m using the abbreviated terminology as Princesses can’t be anything other than cool and today I’m definitely hot.
The Grey Gizz is too worn out to even think let alone compose although the need to keep his gob open does give him a happier than normal allure.
He has also become extremely stinky in this climatic challenge. That coat is just odoriferously overwhelming. Worse than Granny’s feet! Do not plan to visit us until we have scheduled Stanley Steamer.
He has given up the fight and I snagged the slipper but we are competing on a different front now. Tongue length.
Young and gracious as I am let me tell you I have him beaten.
Not only have I the biggest and widest smile in the canine kingdom I also possess the longest and loveliest lingua.
Thanks to this buccal bounty I also can stay cooler than most even when faced with the fiercest foe.
See with record breaking temperatures our air conditioning packed up again. It just could not handle the pressure any longer!! Blew up or to be more accurate fizzled out like a stinky fart.
The fixer is scheduled to come this morning but there is little hope he’ll be able to repair it this time. Looks like we’ll have to install a new unit which will take time. We might have it by Christmas!!!!
All this panting I have to do to thermoregulate is tiresome and makes you so thirsty. We emptied the freezers ice capacity yesterday such was the demand for the crunchy cooling cubes.
Walks are no fun either they only make you hotter but Mega is so determined to get in her steps she’s walking herself.
The bro and Mega have moved to the basement which may explain why she still has some energy but I have to take care of the aged Ps so I’m baking on the first floor with them.
I believe Ma is secretly getting her steps in elsewhere. That Tearoom AC is working just fine!!!!
Anyway not to worry the bro has stepped in. He’s caused an out of stock situation at Walmart by buying a slew of industrial scale fans.
They are gigantic and sound like helicopters taking off but they are most effective.
I am extremely grateful. Never again will I say a bad word about him. His daughter? Well that’s a different story!
Booming Banter 