Author: boomingbanter

Please pity this poor Pitty!

I am in Granny’s biggest bad book.

See yesterday she was all smiles when she came back from a shower party. She’d had a lovely lunch and laughs with some pal and was feeling very happy.

Since it was such a sunny afternoon she said to the uncle and me “let’s go get some steps in” so off we went.

We’d just gone round the corner when I spotted my beau Remington. He’s about two months older than me and thinks quite rightly that I’m hot!

So he’s tugging his Ma to kiss me and I’m tugging Granny to kiss him. My retractable leash is broken so the only way the Gran can control me is by wrapping the leash around her had and when I pull it hurts like hades.

Meanwhile the uncle is tugging in the opposite direction to get at a tree.

So Granny is being pulled apart in the middle of the road by a dog on either side when a UPS truck drives up.

The man at the wheel starts tooting the horn which makes matters even worse. You could see steam coming out of Granny’s nostrils.

He draws up beside Gran and asks something which she can’t hear at first so she doesn’t say excuse me as polite people might she yells WHAT? at this poor guy.

He sort of shrinks in his seat as he clearly has never encountered a mad Irish woman being ripped apart by two dogs and so he repeats his question “are they fighting?”

NO Granny answers they’re PLAYING in a somewhat vexed tone as I take off towards Remington.

Why his Mom didn’t walk off while she could is a mystery to Gran but anyway the two of us once again tried to engage in a little loving when Granny goes ballistic. .

By now she is so mad she gets me by the collar and literally makes me walk like a ballerina on my back Pitty Princess Paws all the way home.

This morning she was still stewing with me as I did not redeem myself last evening.

She tossed the retractable leash in the trash bin and got out came old faithful. The leash that auntie Denise used with her long passed massive Samoyed that she’d given Ma when my uncle was in his junior leash chewing phase.

It gives a lot less scope for squirreling but it sure is great for a game if your Granny doesn’t get it off as soon as you get home.

Blessing#1261-Tug of War

This time of year as I rebarked (haha) yesterday I get a little hairy.

This is particularly annoying around the feet.

The hairs kinda catch between my toes and it’s like walking with flippers on.

Now I’m in no great rush to go to the groomers but I just want to say all this to show my empathy for Ma and others.

Ma has yet again walked her favorite shoes to tatters.

The gaping hole in the heel of her boots explains why her socks get wet on rainy days.

The demonic one appears to have no problem with her tootsies at all she just skips along.

Having said all this we are conscious that our troubles are very few compared to those poor people in Ukraine. We pray along with pet parents all over the world that they will march on to victory.

Blessing#1260-Soulmates

Yesterday we had another ice storm. It didn’t stop us walking as our roads were pretty well salted.

The little icicles on the trees were all glistening at our place. They looked like jewels. It was so pretty.

Heading North on the way to work Ma says things got a lot more dramatic especially in areas that had been flooded earlier in the week.

Many big tree limbs and cables were down including at Auntie Paula’s. At the tearoom the mail box was totally encased in ice.

Maybe a good thing Ma says as it’s always full of bills and with this weather there is very little business. Most people cancelled appointments because they were too afraid to come out! Auntie Marsha still made it though!

It gave Ma time to rejig her treasures and do some Facebook page promotions which made her happy.

Thats one good thing about being a one man show there is never a dull moment.

This morning we perked up even more when we heard it’s less than a month till spring. Brighter days are coming soon.

Time for a haircut me thinks.

Blessing#1259-Pick Me Ups

It is ironic that this morning we should wake to a message from cousin Krishna in India that is totally in line with my banter for today.

See last evening Ma made lentil soup. It is very nourishing. Has the consistency of cement. Anyways after eating two huge bowls of it and partaking of her usually Shiraz she slumbered on the sofa.

When she awoke, like all sleeping beauties do!!!, Dad informed her that the niece had been missing in action for a while. She’d retired to the bros room it seemed.

Ah poor little Princess Ma thought she must be tired too with all that chewing!

It was mind blowing what Ma found when she went to find her.

There were shredded teddy parts everywhere. Many of the bro’s boxers were ripped to pieces and she’d got into an elixir of sorts too!

Ma came straight down the stairs and sent a text to the bro.

I felt sorry for him because that very day, after weeks of neglect, he had cleaned and vacuumed his room.

I thought, make that hoped, he’d take her to the pound when he got home but no.

On his way from work he went to Walmart and bought her something. Seems he’s working on the principles of positivity for behavior modification!

Maybe I’ll be naughty too today! Salmon sure sounds sweet!

Or maybe I’ll just sit!

Blessing#1258-Reinforcements!

Ma is scared.

She says this is not a day for jokes.

It’s a black and white day.

Very serious things are happening far far away.

Thing is though our world is very very small. This is a big problem for all humans.

History repeats itself they say and this bears many similarities to the annexation of the Sudentenland in 1938.

What can we do?

I’ll start by being kind to the kid.

Blessing#1257-Prayers

Remember that bit of dead critter I found? Well Mega found another piece of it last night. The murderer must have buried it.

Poor Ma had to prize open her jaws and pull it out. It was all wet and furry and it also had a bone in it.

She didn’t.

We expected the worse that she might puke. The niece that is.

She’s just been very quiet.

Doesn’t seem interested in bones or playing chaseies.

Makes me feel a bit down myself.

Funny when you have someone around you who is always playful and upbeat and then they don’t play how it does your head in.

Only thing for it is to wait till she bounces back.

Maybe I’ll be just a tiny bit nicer to her today and try to be less grumpy and give her a giggle.

Blessing#1256-A Joker

It may be « deux deux deux deux deux deux deux deux deux » Day but We are getting ready for our patron Patrick.

Since the lantern festival is over we can tear down the Chinese New Year decor and bring out the green.

It will be the Princess’s first exposure to the good Saint. She already tried to eat one of the ornaments. Terrible pity he didn’t exterminate Pitty as well as snakes. Maybe I could pray to him about that!

We also did yummy things in his honor.

We made shortbread in the shape of shamrocks

We even attempted traditional Irish oat cakes that the big man may have eaten himself. Thanks to Mum,Run, Bake blogger our dear Laura Christmann for the recipe. They turned out great and hopefully will go down well at the Tearoom with a bit of Irish cheddar.

All of this meant Ma had a good excuse for not doing any cleaning and only one load of laundry.

You just gotta get your priorities straight.

Since it’s pouring we are now going to adjourn for a snooze.

Blessing#1255-Preparing for Pat

Do you know that cartoon character I’m named after?

Well he was always doing detective work.

True to form so do I.

There is a spot just outside our garage door where the Princess pees each morning.

It’s under our half dead fir tree that Ma has transformed into a totem pole.

Normally I avoid the area like the plague.

This morning though when I went out for my first job I dragged Ma over there.

It wasn’t the reappearance of the snow buried turtle that attracted me it was signs of a murder.

There were tufts of hair all around the area

Worse there was a gross bit of a critter there too.

It may have been a squirrel or perhaps a bunny something of that ilk and it still had bones in it.

The bro should buy me treats because you can bet your bottom dollar if I hadn’t sniffed that out and given Ma time to clean it up it would have been in the Pitty.

Blessing#1254-Sherlock Scooby

Hi Pitty Peeps it’s your very own Princess. Hope you have missed me!

You know I’m always upbeat unlike a certain canine that lives in my palace but yesterday was full of challenges.

When Granny took us for our morning trot we got all tangled up and in the process of freeing ourselves the Gizz got rather overwrought and yanked a piece of fur out of himself.

Immediately following this something that Auntie Denise and Granny had anticipated for months actually happened. I tend to get a little close to grumpy when he is about his business around trees. They’d always said one day he’d mark me rather than the tree. Well it’s happened. He peed on my beautiful face! Not just a squirt either the full immersion version!

I was vexed but like a fighter I quickly bounced back and shook it off.

My Dad decided I needed some one on one attention following this incident so he took me out for a cruise in our carriage. Alas it was a bit of a bumpy ride and I threw up all over his front seat. He was not happy and I was dejected. I try my best to love him to death.

So this morning when I saw this post from Uncle Jespal’s site it hit home. We gotta keep marching on and stay positive.

The Gizz is really a bit like the Don Don’t you think.

My Princess positivity was further reinforced by the singing from Holy Trinity Ballylesson. They were marching on to a tune we hadn’t heard before.

Check it out. It’s great!

https://youtu.be/MZmS81yLjMg

Just like me!!!

Blessing#1253-New Day New Song

What I have to endure is terrible.

Last night we were watching Ma’s usual Friday mind numbing favorite « My Lottery Dream Home ». To get through that agony I was having a quiet chew when IT attacked.

She barks and barks and barks and then takes to the air and snatches.

I really hate that wee bitch.

After some shut eye I was looking forward to a great brekkie. Plenty of leftover pizza. Yum yum.

Just as I was tucking in Ma hauls out the potato and onion holder.

It lives in our kitchen coat cupboard along with Ma’s doggy walking paraphernalia.

I’d been noticing a stink for a few days and this morning it finally reached the humans snout too.

A rotten potato. Absolutely nothing worse.

Ma was nearly puking as she removed the whole bag to the poop trash collection area in the garage.

Worse she then starts bleaching the container to remove the stain and stink.

Mercy does she not realize the overload she was imposing on my nostrils. I was ready to pass out.

She then took to culling the flowers we’d got her for Valentines. The roses were as dead as that potato but a few little fillers remained.

She put them in a vase Auntie Caroline had given us.

Fortunately it reset my perspective for the day. I think I’ll send the niece out to play in the traffic.

Blessing#1252-Hopes and Dreams